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Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 01:53 PM

Hi I am with a guy at the moment for 3 years. He was really sweet to me and called me and everything. He has had a past for cheating and it only lasted max 3 months. Longest is me. He use to buy me flowers and gifts. We have been arguing a lot and I mean a lot but make up is still there from his end. He recently bought me a dress it wasn't really my colour but I liked the fit. Anyway recently I just saw one of the girls he dated as a fling wearing the same kind of dress and she had it on two days after he gave me mine? I am really concerned about this? Please help me.

Alty · Apr 28, 2013, 02:17 PM

Is it a popular dress? The logical explanation is that the ex bought the same dress, because she liked it.

Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?

Bottom line, you don't seem to trust him. If you don't trust him, there can be no relationship.

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:20 PM

I just don't think it is a conicedense a do trust him but how an earth the similar dress?

Alty · Apr 28, 2013, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

I just dont think it is a conicedense a do trust him but how an earth the similar dress??

If you trusted him you wouldn't be here asking this question.

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2013, 02:22 PM

Why is he buying personal gifts for another girl?

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:23 PM

He gave me it a few days before she was wearing and asked for me to sens pictures but all he said was you look hot. He has an anger problem and just shuts me up with my feelings he has lied to me before so that he looks the victim and I broke it off but he then begged me to be with him he goz home and say he can't chat and has to go home den shouts down the phone saying talk talk and a can't because he just makes me cry what should I do?

I don't know if he has bought her it am curious that how she has not worn it before its similar to me its so difficult speaking to him that's why I am on this and wanting some help and advise please understand

Alty · Apr 28, 2013, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

He gave me it jus a few days before she was wearing and asked for me to sens pictures but all he said was u look hot. He has an anger problem and just shuts me up with my feelings he has lied to me before so that he looks the victim and i broke it off but he then begged me to be with him he goz home and say he can't chat and has to go home den shouts down the phone saying talk talk n a can't because he just makes me cry what should i do?

A relationship should be based on trust, and mutual respect.

It doesn't sound like you're happy in this relationship. Love is blind, but it doesn't have to be deaf and dense too.

I think you know what you should do, you just can't accept it.

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why is he buying personal gifts for another girl?

I don't know what's going on I love him and always try telling him that he deals in anger and I get upset but if I get angry and say something ceeky he just tells me he's off and that's it but if he is rude he says its because of me?

Originally Posted by Alty

A relationship should be based on trust, and mutual respect.

It doesn't sound like you're happy in this relationship. Love is blind, but it doesn't have to be deaf and dense too.

I think you know what you should do, you just can't accept it.

What do you think I know what to do? From what I am telling you do you think guys that he does love me or just what I cannot uderstand anymore is this the real him?

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2013, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

he just makes me cry what should i do?

Walk away from him. He sounds like he is a controller, being mean, then saying I'm sorry and buying you pretty things to make you forgive him. Then he will be mean again soon. You will always cry if you are with him.

The real him is the angry and mean one.

Alty · Apr 28, 2013, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

I dont know if he has bought her it am curious that how she has not worn it before its similar to me its so difficult speaking to him thats why i am on this and wanting some help and advise please understand

We do understand your situation, I don't understand what you're asking us to do for you.

We can't confirm that he bought the dress for this other girl. We don't know if he's cheating. We're not psychic.

The only thing we can base an opinion on is what you write, and based on what you've written, you're not happy in the relationship, you don't trust him, and he also has anger issues.

Ultimately it's your decision to stay or go, no one else can make the decision for you. I can tell you that if it were me, based on what you've written, I wouldn't stay with him. That's me though. You are not me. You have to decide what to do, you have to figure out what you're willing to put up with, and if it's worth it.

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

A relationship should be based on trust, and mutual respect.

It doesn't sound like you're happy in this relationship. Love is blind, but it doesn't have to be deaf and dense too.

I think you know what you should do, you just can't accept it.

Accept what?

Alty · Apr 28, 2013, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

What do you think i know what to do? From what i am telling you do you think guys that he does love me or just what i cannot uderstand anymore is this the real him?

Love isn't the question.

I think you're confused about love.

He may very well love you, but still treats you like crap. There are people that marry only because they love each other, but every other aspect of their relationship is a mess. Love isn't enough to make a relationship work.

There are men that love their wives, but still cheat on them, still beat them. They're always sorry after they do it, and they do feel love for their spouse, but their behavior never stops. They're cheaters and abusers, and love won't make them any different.

So the question is, is love enough for you? Can you live with him possibly cheating? Can you live with the constant tears, the anger, the way he treats you? Is love enough?

To me it doesn't sound like it is.

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

Accept what?

Accept that the best thing to do is to leave.

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

We do understand your situation, I don't understand what you're asking us to do for you.

We can't confirm that he bought the dress for this other girl. We don't know if he's cheating. We're not psychic.

The only thing we can base an opinion on is what you write, and based on what you've written, you're not happy in the relationship, you don't trust him, and he also has anger issues.

Ultimately it's your decision to stay or go, no one else can make the decision for you. I can tell you that if it were me, based on what you've written, I wouldn't stay with him. That's me though. You are not me. You have to decide what to do, you have to figure out what you're willing to put up with, and if it's worth it.

Lol no I know What use Can. Help me with and that is only to give advise a cannot speak to family or friends, I thought that when there is a problem from his end and if I speak to him about it bcoz I can't speak to anyone els he gives me da solution to the problem where he just says I don't understand. He is not willing to accept breaking up is there any advise on what I should say to him and how I should please ?

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2013, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

is there any advise on what i should say to him and how i should please ?

You say goodbye. There is no way to ever please him. (He should be trying to please YOU!! )

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Accept that the best thing to do is to leave.

Yes you are ryt lately I have been confused please don't get me wrong but I know what love is and its being respectful of your partner and treating them with loyality and sincerity and I have been doing that always trying to accompany his ways but he says this also' you just think it's a fairytale well its not' he has never hit me or swore at me but I am confused

Will he ever miss how sincere and loving I have been towards him ?

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2013, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

Will he ever miss how sincere and loving i have been towards him ?

No.

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:42 PM

Do use think he will chane if I leave him ?

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No.

Whydo u say that? I have tried breaking up with him previously and every time he has said he will make things better

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2013, 02:44 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

Do use think he will chane if i leave him ?

No. He wants only stupid girls.

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

Whydo u say that? I have tried breaking up with him previously and everytime he has said he will make things better

And has he made things better?

Mahiya1212 · Apr 28, 2013, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And has he made things better?

When you say stupid what do you mean? Have I been stupid putting up with him? Well his behaviour is still the same , he hates it if anyone says anything to me disrespects me he says he has never loved and the only low he has is just for me so he tries to control his anger but he knows how much I hate anger so why does he still doit and if he doesn't speak to me he says after an argument he said he didn't want to say the rong thing

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2013, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by Mahiya1212

When u say stupid what do you mean? Have i been stupid putting up with him? Well his behaviour is still the same , he hates it if anyone says anything to me disrespects me he says he has never loved and the only low he has is just for me so he tries to control his anger but he knows how much i hate anger so why does he still doit and if he doesnt speak to me he says after an argument he said he didnt want to say the rong thing

You are stupid and will hurt your heart forever if you stay with such an angry, controlling person. If he says forgive him and he will improve, but he does not improve, walk away. He is full of sweet words that mean nothing. You will always cry if you stay with him.