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Bigorange7 · Apr 23, 2013, 03:19 PM

I like this girl, but we don't always talk. I get nervous and don't know what to say around her. I lack confidence around most girls, but it is really tough with her. I don't know what to say ever, and I feel like if I do then she will think it is weird. I want a way to get to know her better and be a closer friend.

Also I would like to know how to get a girl to start liking me. How can I tell? What would most girls be attracted too?
Hope someone can help me. Never had a girlfriend and would like one in high school. Almost a freshman.

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talaniman · Apr 23, 2013, 03:49 PM

Confidence through practice and experience. If you can talk to guys, you can talk to girls. Start with school topics and events.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 23, 2013, 04:03 PM

You can't get to know a person or have them get to know you if you can't talk.
You need self confidence before you try and be with any girl. They are people just like your guy friends. You talk to them the same way. Just as talaniman says start with school topics, hobbies...

Bigorange7 · Apr 24, 2013, 05:22 AM

This girl I have a crush on is one of the popular girls and I am an invisible guy to her. How do I get her to notice me and become close friend to her?

There have also been rumors about her liking another guy and he likes her back. I am not sure if it is true, but everyone else have. How could I make sure that doesn't happen soon.

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smoothy · Apr 24, 2013, 05:28 AM

THis is one of those times... (seriously) that if you have to ask... its not meant to be.

You don't "make" anything happen... you don't decide to "Make" any particular person a close friend... it either happens or it doesn't. On its own merit.

joypulv · Apr 24, 2013, 05:30 AM

You say hi (and her name) with a smile as you walk by. How obvious can that be?
You can tell a lot by someone's reaction to a hi.

BUT I am seriously worried about this. You sound obsessed when you ask how you can stop two people from liking each other. It's not just a sign of obsession, it's also an indication that you just don't understand relationships. Have all the fantasies you want, but you aren't going to leap in between them and sweep her off her feet, 'saving' her from this other guy. Everyone but you knows they like each other. She can like you in a friendly way for now, just like she likes a lot of people, but you are just going to have to wait to see if they last or not, and then try.

Bigorange7 · Apr 24, 2013, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

You say hi (and her name) with a smile as you walk by. How obvious can that be?
You can tell a lot by someone's reaction to a hi.

BUT I am seriously worried about this. You sound obsessed when you ask how you can stop two people from liking each other. It's not just a sign of obsession, it's also an indication that you just don't understand relationships. Have all the fantasies you want, but you aren't going to leap in between them and sweep her off her feet, 'saving' her from this other guy. Everyone but you knows they like each other. She can like you in a friendly way for now, just like she likes a lot of people, but you are just going to have to wait to see if they last or not, and then try.

I really don't know relationships. Never had one. That is why I ask this question. Can you help me with that?

talaniman · Apr 24, 2013, 06:08 AM

QUOTE by Bigorange:
This girl I have a crush on is one of the popular girls and I am an invisible guy to her. How do I get her to notice me and become close friend to her?

You talk to her and say hello, get to know her and let her know you. That's with anyone, guy, or girl. The thing is jut because you like some one, don't expect them to like you back, or the same way you like them. Relationship develop over time and on thee own, so becoming visible to her is not a guarantee of instant results.

There have also been rumors about her liking another guy and he likes her back. I am not sure if it is true, but everyone else have. How could I make sure that doesn't happen soon.

You cannot prevent her from making her own choices of the heart, don't even try, just put your best foot forward and see what happens.

smkanand · Apr 24, 2013, 06:45 AM

I think you just approach the person with friendship. Considering them your friends rather crush or interest. Act and think like a friend and your confidence will grow. Not asking to suppress your feelings but to make things more comfortable. Slowly you will be get to know the person and express your feelings.

smoothy · Apr 24, 2013, 06:56 AM

And even then there is always the very good possibility they won't WANT to be your friend... much less have anything more than that.

It happens or it doesn't. You don't get to decide... from having NO relationships at all, to decide that's the one I want to be a best friend... when you don't even know each other at all.

Most people aren't "friends" material. Fewer yet that might be... would even find enough in common to like each other much... fewer still would even have a chance to become friends... FAR less would have a chance to become best friends... and even less than that would stand a chance to do more than date once or twice and find any compatibility.

In short... what you asked is like someone who has never worked a day in their life, or have any skill or education... deciding they are going to be the next Bill Gates... without any plan what so ever.

One step at a time... and understand... fantasies are fine... but you can very rarely ever live them... particularly where another person who has their own free will is concerned.

You might be the nicest person around... but if the other person doesn't like you kind of nice... then its not going to be. SO prepare for rejection... because you like everyone else is going to have a lot of it before you do find the right person... and the first few are never the right person. You will understand why after you have had a few relationships... because you can't know what good really is... until you've had a lot of worse ones that you can compare to. And that means experience.

Also.. to add... if you are still in school... and she is part of the popular clique... and you aren't a popular jock... your chances are essentially zero. That's life in school as a kid... it changes for the better some time after college.