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garboozle · Apr 22, 2013, 11:10 PM

I'm so confused. This girl who I'm in love with offered me her Facebook. Awesome! Problem being. I don't have a Facebook! I thought about asking for her digits right then and there but had cold feet... Should I? I mean I gave it to her before and she didn't contact me. Now, about two months after that she is willing to add me on FACEBOOK. So why wouldn't she be all right with me having her number? I don't get it.

Alternative idea: Make a Facebook real quick and inform her of the fact the next time we see each other and ask for hers? Bad idea? Good?

I have NEVER regretted not having Facebook until tonight. Being with this person would make me the happiest man alive.

joypulv · Apr 23, 2013, 01:28 AM

Facebook allows you some access to her but she can ignore you or respond when and if she wishes. That's the difference.

Just go to Facebook and open an account in your name. It takes a minute. Then you type her name into the search bar, click on Friend Request, and wait for her to accept it. Then you are Friends until either one of you 'Unfriends' the other one, if ever. Make sure you don't send her private messages openly. Use the Message link at the top of her page so all her other friends don't see what you say.

Oliver2011 · Apr 23, 2013, 04:35 AM

"Being with this person would make me the happiest man alive."

I am not sure you know this person well enough to be making statements like that. And if you don't you are setting yourself up for a disaster. Take it slow and get to know this person. Rushing into a relationship only leads to badness most of the time.

J_9 · Apr 23, 2013, 05:13 AM

Is this the lesbian stripper you are "in love" with? You know, the one you pay hundreds of dollars to just so she will talk to you?

Oliver2011 · Apr 23, 2013, 05:18 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Is this the lesbian stripper you are "in love" with? You know, the one you pay hundreds of dollars to just so she will talk to you?

Oy vey - not again. I am not going to invest into this one...

joypulv · Apr 23, 2013, 07:43 AM

We have made it clear time and time again that she is a losing cause, but he wants it this way, so I for one am going to concede that he has a right to be who he is.
Facebook contact can be a good way to discourage rather than encourage, to show that she has plenty of friends (and admirers).

garboozle · Apr 23, 2013, 09:01 AM

@ J_9 It's the same person, but she's not homosexual. That was 100% a miscommunication on my part. I think it's worth every penny I spend.

@jpypulv, thanks for the advice. After this sudden development, I'd say this is not a losing cause, I'm making progress. I guess I'll get a Facebook and join the rest of the world.

talaniman · Apr 23, 2013, 03:28 PM

At least its free.

Alty · Apr 23, 2013, 03:48 PM

I have friends on Facebook that have literally hundreds of people listed on their friend list. I once asked a friend that has over 700 "friends" on Facebook, how he could accumulate that many. I don't think I even know 700 people.

His response was "If someone asks to add me, I agree. After all, it's facebook, it doesn't mean anything. I do have real friends on there, but most of the people are just acquaintances, and not people I would even want to know in real life. It's a great way to not be rude to a person that obviously wants to be a part of your life, but keep them at arms length at the same time".

She didn't give you her number because she doesn't want you contacting her. She's allowing you to add her to Facebook because it doesn't mean anything, and she can easily ignore you or even block you on Facebook.

She's using you. She knows she has to give you a bit of hope, otherwise you'll stop spending money on her. But, she doesn't want to actually be in a relationship, not even a real friendship, with you. Facebook is an easy way to give you hope without actually making herself available to you.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 23, 2013, 04:08 PM

I have friends on Facebook and they don't all have my phone number, I don't talk to them outside of Facebook, probably never will. Only those I am close to have my number. She is giving you a way to contact her, on her terms without having to see you. I agree with Alty.

Alty · Apr 23, 2013, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I have friends on facebook and they don't all have my phone number, I don't talk to them outside of facebook, probably never will. Only those I am close to have my number. She is giving you a way to contact her, on her terms without having to see you. I agree with Alty.

I totally agree.

I have people on my friend list on fb that I never ever talk to in real life. Heck, I barely talk to them on Facebook. I know them, they know me, but we're not close. That's the way fb is.

That's what makes fb so great. If a guy won't leave you alone, you can add him to fb and then ignore him. That way he feels like he's getting contact, when he really isn't. It's much better than giving him your number, and then having to go through the trouble of changing your number because he won't stop calling. On fb just a click of the button and he's gone. :)

garboozle · Apr 23, 2013, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

At least its free.

Lol, true.

garboozle · Apr 23, 2013, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

I have friends on facebook that have literally hundreds of people listed on their friend list. I once asked a friend that has over 700 "friends" on facebook, how he could accumulate that many. I don't think I even know 700 people.

She didn't give you her number because she doesn't want you contacting her. She's allowing you to add her to facebook because it doesn't mean anything, and she can easily ignore you or even block you on facebook.

She's using you. She knows she has to give you a bit of hope, otherwise you'll stop spending money on her. But, she doesn't want to actually be in a relationship, not even a real friendship, with you. Facebook is an easy way to give you hope without actually making herself available to you.

Hmm, Thanks for the insightful post, you made some good points, not exactly what I wanted to hear. I just find it so strange. I just offhandedly asked if she had Facebook to make conversation and then SHE made the offer to "friend" me. I mean rather I'm sending her a private Facebook message or a text message, either way I'm contacting her, and it's just as easy to block a number than to block a Facebook.

Who knows maybe she's just a master manipulator and is just giving me hope. Even with that though, she should know after all this time that I'm going to spend money on her regardless. It's all very confusing.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 23, 2013, 08:14 PM

It's not that confusing. You just don't want to see what's there. You'd rather stay in la la land.

garboozle · Apr 23, 2013, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

It's not that confusing. You just don't want to see what's there. You'd rather stay in la la land.

It is confusing because I have legitimate feelings for this person and long to develop a relationship. I think the fact she was going to add me on Facebook means something.. I highly doubt she extends the offer to most people.