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Jessicaw · Mar 21, 2007, 04:14 PM

Hey. I am currently almost 7 months pregnant. I am due in June. The father and I had been dating for a few months before I got pregnant. When I told him he asked me to get an abortion, and when I told him I couldn't do that he said I was just trying to keep him around! SO I went online and printed up a whole bunch of info on abortion for him so he would see that it just really wasn't something I was interested in doing. Anyway, he stopped talking to me at about 3 months along, and I have tried to call him about 3 times since then. I asked him what he plans on doing about being a dad, and he just says I don't know I don't know. Well there is a brief background. My 2 questions are:
First..,. Do I need his social to put his name on the birth certificate?
And
Second... If he is working under the table, how do they go about giving him a correct amount on child support payments?

If anyone has been through any of this I would really appreciate your help

Thanks
Jess

Fr_Chuck · Mar 21, 2007, 04:19 PM

! You don't have to put on him the birth certificate, that does not make or not make him the dad, he is just as liable for child support even if he is not listed on the birth certificate.

Your state will have its requirement for listing on birth certificate, here you do not need social security number because it can not be on the certificate.

You are going to have to prove his income, have the court get copies of bank records, credit card records and also investigate where he is "working under the table"

From what he spends, they can determine how much, plus you can name where he is working for cash also.

Jessicaw · Mar 21, 2007, 04:30 PM

Fr_Chuck. I know I don't have to put him on the birth certificate, but I would like to. I would like it to be on there for my son when he grows up cause no matter what happens that is still his dad. Do you know of a website I can look on to see if I need the social in my state? I would imagine you didn't cause there are no socials on them... right?

And as far as bank accounts and credit card and all that, I don't think he has anything like that. He controls his money sort of like a little kid still, you know what's in his pocket basically, and he bounces from job to job so I would never know where to tell them. I just don't want to waste my time taking him to court for 20 bucks a week, that is not even enough for a can of formula!

Fr_Chuck · Mar 21, 2007, 04:41 PM

You should be able to call the hospital and ask them what their requirements are. Just from the posts here I know there are many standards,

Money is going to be tough then,

brianneelizabeth · Mar 21, 2007, 08:02 PM

I know what your going through. In order for the fathers name to be on the certificate he needs to sign the paper work himself, and by the sounds of things he doesn't want that. And as for being paid under the table as far as the government knows he isn't working so they won't make him pay child support. I know this really sucks.. I have a 16 month old and my son has never met his father his name is not on the certificate and he does not pay child support but in the long run it works out better for us that way.

EnglishRose · Mar 22, 2007, 12:44 PM

If he's working under the table tell him you will report him. If he is so immature contact his parents. Not to ask them for money but they may want to offer the baby support and a family unit that every child needs. I'm sorry to say, however, that you can not make the father a dad in the same way you can not make a boy a man. He may change his mind when he sees the baby, I have seen that happen, but don't hold out for it. You can do this on your own (hopefully with friends and family support) if you have to, other people do. Remind him that you did not 'do this' alone and it is just a childish way of thought that you are trying to trap him. An abortion is not an easy thing to do, I would be concerned if you thought it was.
Good luck hun
X

Jessicaw · Mar 24, 2007, 04:53 AM

Brianne - When I look up laws in my state about child support it says that it would be a MINIMUM of 20 per week, but it is also at the judges discretion, and he could base it on the fathers earning ability. Maybe it is different state to state? This whole thing is confusing.

English Rose - I have spoken to his mother a few times, and she is excited to be a Grandmother, but she is a bit wacky. She told me the other day she still hasn't even brought up to him that she knows she is waiting for him to go to her with it. So I am not depending on her for too much support. My family has been great and I am really thankful for that.

I just don't understand how a man can abandon a child just because it didn't grow inside his body. I wish there was a punishment for things like this, its just wrong

brianneelizabeth · Mar 24, 2007, 11:06 AM

It also boggles my mind too.. how someone can know they have a child and not want anything to do with them.. but it happens on many occasions but its not always the man. I acutally live in canada so the way child support is done here is based on their wages so say someone makes 50000 a year canadian they have to pay 700 a month child support..

shygrneyzs · Mar 24, 2007, 11:17 AM

Child support will garnish his income taxes, when that time comes. They did that to my ex-husband. Under the table wages - good luck. The best you can do there is to report the employer, if you know who he is working for. The IRS would be interested in them too. I hope you find out about the available programs for you and your baby. Such as WIC and AFDC. WIC is a godsend. You can find out that information at the county public health (for WIC) and social services (AFDC and other assistance you might need).

Wishing you the very best.

Jessicaw · Mar 25, 2007, 06:06 AM

Brianne - I keep looking things up online with my department of revenue, and I talked to a lawyer the other day and he said the judge may make him get a "real" job. I live in Mass, and he said that they are getting more strict on that. Good thing!
It bothers me every single day that this baby may never meet his dad, and someday Im sure he is going to start asking why. And what do I say? Well hopefully mum will have all the answers. Deep down I still have the hope that if and when he sees this baby he will want to be around him.

Shygrneyzs - What do you mean about his income taxes? Also, I applied for WIC already and I make a little over what the requirements are. The only time they can help me is when I am on unpaid maternity leave. Which is still a help. I really don't make that uch money but according to their standards I do. They don't take into account that I have rent, car payment, car insurance, heat, electric, phone... etc. I don make much but what can you do... I will never be rich, but I am also not going to starve... so what can you do?

shygrneyzs · Mar 25, 2007, 06:16 AM

When there is a court order for child support, the IRS is notified and so that the income tax refund can be (and is) garnished and sent to child support, who records it and sends it to the Mother.

brianneelizabeth · Mar 25, 2007, 10:16 AM

I know its tough... and even if he doesn't come around when he sees the baby one day you'll find someone who loves you and your child regardless of the fact that it isn't his biologicaly and maybe your child will call him daddy. Things always work out in the end. And I truly wish you the best of luck because going through a pregnancy and birth and raising a child alone is not a walk in the park, but at the end of the day when your child kisses you good night and you look back on the day its all worth it.
So with that good luck and if you need to talk to someone in your situation feel free to email me at [email protected]

PinkSlippers · Mar 30, 2007, 10:42 AM

If you put his name on the birth certificate though- he could possibly get joint custody. I don't know how you feel about that. Just a thought.

ScottGem · Mar 30, 2007, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by PinkSlippers

If you put his name on the birth certificate though- he could possibly get joint custody. I don't know how you feel about that. Just a thought.

Umm it doesn't matter whether his name is on the because or not. If he's the bio father he can force a paternity test to prove it. Once that's done he has parental rights that he can exercise if he so chooses.

PinkSlippers · Mar 31, 2007, 10:25 AM

That's definitely true- however, if his name is not on the birth certificate, he needs to get a paternity test- they cost between $400.00 and $600.00 dollars. He can't really pay that if he doesn't have a real job- and since the mother is worried about getting twenty dollars a month CS- that's probably the case.

Jessicaw · Apr 1, 2007, 05:50 AM

I really don't mind if he has joint custody, I would really like him to be a part of his sons life. But If he chooses not to be a dad I would still ike my son to see his dads name on his birth certificate, and I would like a little financial support.