[LaNeal]

This is more advice than a direct question. Been married 13 years, 2 kids. My husband has always for the majority of the marriage had porn problems. We split up 3 summers ago. He slept with people. I dated and slept with one man. He found out, had a fit, pledged his love and we got back together. Things were amazing until I messed it up and filed for divorce in October of 2011. I started dating someone, moved in with him, things didn't work, so hubby and I got back together. Dropped the divorce. We went to counseling, were doing great I thought until I found out he has a secret cell phone that he has been texting girls back and forth on, telling them he's single and they have been exchanging pictures. Mostly nude ones. Not sure if this is all or if he is having affairs with several women or what? I'm not really sure what to do. He blames me, says I caused all of this by moving in with the guy, and taking his kids away from him, etc. not sure what to do. I'm 39, he's 41.

[talaniman]

I don't see this working as long as he is cheating. I suspect you should have divorced cleanly rather than going through this tit for tat emotional war. Talk to a lawyer and get your options and then make a plan. Unless there are major changes by you both I fail to see the point of staying in this thing.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't know that fault matters. It appears the relationship is doomed and over.

Move on and protect yourself financially as well as you can.

[LaNeal]

The only problem is I just got the kids where they feel stable again. My 11 year old little boy will not survive another split up or the thought of a divorce. I'm thinking about just emotionally separating myself from him and sticking it out until our little boy graduates.

[JudyKayTee]

What would I do? I'd ask a therapist or two which is better for children - living in a hostile environment "for their sake" or living with one parent or the other.

You certainly don't think the tension and cheating aren't realized by your child.