[ladys89]

My Husband and I have only been married a short 6 months but have been dating off and on for 7years. When we first started dating everything was great, he was loving, kind, helpful, sweet and understanding, I mean we had our arguments but they were the regular relationship fights. We had talked about marriage and decided to wait a year before getting engaged and then a year after that before getting married, cause we were still young me 22 he was 20, but he didn't listen. I felt pushed in to the engagement. What was I supposed to do when he got down on his knee, and already asked my parents for my hand?

So we got engaged, After the engagement thing started to slowly change, we started fighting more, he became less helpful around the house. Then we got married and that's when things got bad, we were fighting every second or third day, he started calling me names, thought I should be keeping the house up by myself and work a full time job, didn't want me to go out anywhere unless he was going, and I wasn't allowed to have anyone in unless I asked him first. I'm not blaming everything on him cause its not all on him, I had a temper too. So we sat down and talked I told him I wasn't happy, that I wanted to leave and that we needed to fix things.

We decided on equal work around the house, no raising of voices we were going to talk to things out, no name calling, and we are allowed to do what we want with our friends with out having to ask the other. He agreed. I held up my end of the bargain but I don't feel as though he did, I told him this and he just keeps telling me he will change. It is to the point now we don't sleep in the same bed and haven't for 4 months. I'm falling out of love with him, I'm not happy, and I feel uncomfortable in my own home. I don't want to kiss him or hug him, not that I get many of those anyway.

I feel stuck and I don't know how or if I should leave. I feel like its wrong for me to give up after 6 months of marriage and that I should stick it out, but I don't love him anymore, I know that and he knows that... What Do I Do?? Please Help!

[Oliver2011]

You both have to want things to change for them to change. You both need to seek marriage counseling if you both want to make a long term commitment to fix these issues. If you don't then please learn from this experience. You need to not jump into marriage just because the guy asks you to marry him.

[talaniman]

You really expect him to change over night? Leave his chores for him to do and just do your part and go about your business. If it's that bad save up to leave and divide your shared assets and explore your options with a lawyer.

Have you even talked of counseling?

[ladys89]

No I don't expect him to change over night, but he could at least try it has been two months since the conversation. I have left his chores for him but you can only leave them so long before they have to be done... we have talked about counseling but it isn't in the cards cause of his work, we have talked about trial separation, we have sat down time after time and talked about things. I wish it was as easy as just saving up and leaving .

[ANGIE4124]

I once heard; that a person's character is but half formed till after wedlock. Looks like the better half of his character is gone and you're stuck with who he really is underneath all that sweetness.

Perhaps a trial separation might work to bring you back together or end it for good? Alternatively, how hard is it for him to do his chores, make it desirable for you sleep in the same bed as he and fix his part in the marriage after working hours?

If both your hearts are not in it, nothing will change; …you don't love him anymore and his work's more important than counselling…. If you feel it is wrong for you to leave; then try focusing on what is positive about him, start by changing your frame of mind for the better, 'cause it does you no good behaving as bad as each other – having a temper only adds fuel to the fire.

Take Care – Angie4124