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Jiser · Jun 18, 2007, 12:53 PM

Don't waste your time anymore! Seriously... Your be dead one day, don't waste your time, every second wasted is one you won't get bck.

SAB123 · Jun 18, 2007, 12:57 PM

It's just hard I can't let go of her.

Jiser · Jun 18, 2007, 12:59 PM

Why not? Pull yourself together man. Go out now and go to the gym, go do something...

SAB123 · Jun 19, 2007, 05:16 AM

I'm feeling a lot better today, had a couple of beers last night and put everything into perspective.I thought about how my life would be with her if we got married and it would have been her way or the highway. It doesn't matter no more. Even if she wants to come back I will never take her back. She's evil for playing with my head. I have let go for good
Now.I feel a little jealous but I feel OK if she's dating someone. It won't last any ways. The person she dates will realize what kind of a selfish, high maintenance, bipolar b***h she is. She probably feels pretty good now that he told me she has a boyfriend. But I don't care I am moving on and one day she will get her day to see me happy with a nice girl and she'll be miserable with her life. Hell if she couldn't make it work with me it won't work with anybody else. I just put up with her crap. But my sister is having a party on the 30th and inviting a lot of single girls. I guess once I start hanging out with other girls and see how nicer the are then ex, I probably say what the hell was I doing with her. But I don't feel like I'm back at square on no more. I'm feeling relived in away.

SAB123 · Jun 19, 2007, 07:08 AM

I want to start buy saying thanks to Tal, Chuff, Hair, Jiser, Manammoth, Emo and everyone else that has given me advise here on this site. But I need to take a break out of this site, Like Mac it just reminds me of her when I'm on here.

I found this site 3 1/2 months ago looking for advice, and for people to tell me yes she's coming back again. I no everyone has told me she not a nice person. But I guess I still wanted her back, even after all the advise I got here. But it is trully time to let go of her. She is my first love and maybe that's why I am having trouble letting go of her. But deep down inside she is not for me. Although I think of all the good times we all had together, she is a selfish, high maintenance, used me and maniplative person. I can't / don't hate her in fact I will always love her and her son. She is who she is, like I am who I am and I can't fault her. I do know that one day she will want to be friends after she goes through break up after break up even closure. She will not get either from me. Not to be mean but for her not hurt me ever again. We didn't always get into arguments and she was good to me most of the time. Maybe one day we could be friends but probably not, I'm sure one day when I have a new girlfriend she would not like that.

I know I will be on here again hopefully never asking questions about another break up. Hopefully on the dating and one day the marrige site getting opinions on how to make thinks work in a relationship. Because this break up and the other 5 break ups she had with me where and still are painful. I just wish she would have let go of me that first break up. But it was my fault for taking her back. But what done is done. Know I must trully let go and try not to think of her no more that is why I have to try to stay off here for a while. I do know I will be good in a few months. :)

emopunk7 · Jun 19, 2007, 07:25 AM

Good for you!

emopunk7 · Jun 19, 2007, 07:30 AM

I think you shouldn't leave the site yet... You have so much going on still... I think it's best you stay for another month or two before u leave.

SAB123 · Jun 19, 2007, 08:14 AM

I Think this is what is best for now. I will probably check in once a week to check to see if anybody responds to my threads. Or if I can't deal with my emotions I probably will return but I don't think that will be a problem anymore. I hope.

Nakamichi · Jun 19, 2007, 08:52 AM

Hey SAB, never reply on any of your treads before but seeing you are leaving, I said to myself I have to post something for you.

I know it's so much up and down even AFTER the breakup because we still bear hope and wish things will work out our way. All the signals that we got from the ex may mean nothing to them but for us, we for sure will over react or take it as something big or some sort of a hints that they WILL come back, just a matter of time.

My ex-bf (yes, bf; and yes, I was his boyfriend before too :) ) changed his attitude towards me and I thought initially it maybe a good thing, but giving it a second thoughts, maybe he already moved on and let go... he is just trying to maintain a very low level of friendship now.

I truly value all the replies and everything that I've read from other treads because I learned a lot from there... but keep reading sometimes made me too confused about my own situation as well. I think you are right, too much information / advice may just keep reminding you about her.

So take care SAB, I know that one day, some day, you will stand up on your feet again and you will definitely let this whole thing be "history" and become a new man. All the best for you SAB.

I think I'll also drift away for a while... I need to heal and stand back on my feet as well. I can't take my thoughts off him... I still love him, and I still miss him a lot.

Jiser · Jun 19, 2007, 09:05 AM

All the best :) Don't forget you are the one in control of your destiny. Make your life happen FOR YOU and no one else. You don't have to prove anything to anyone and make changes for you not your ex! If she happens to find out about changes and good things then who cares? Things can only get better, with NC you will have less confusion. Onwards and upwards my friend, good luck and keep busy!

SAB123 · Jun 19, 2007, 12:30 PM

I just spent the last couple hours reading my story here. One thing I see different about me is from reading my letters to ex by allheart the anger I have for her is fading so I think that is a good sign. And when I read all my threads I feel I have a void but by reading them from start to where I am now I feel that it's better we are a part. Everyone here and my friends, family and even me now are seeing her for what she is. Maybe I should have kept reading my threads from start to finish more. I think if I meet someone I could give that person 100% now.

SAB123 · Jun 19, 2007, 01:10 PM

I've decided to stay here and right down and vent when needed but will limit my time. I think this will be a good place to come back to months from now and see my progress and really see her for what she is. Maybe a couple time a week.

Stunning07 · Jun 19, 2007, 01:50 PM

Its good to let go but not RUNAWAY from a community that helps each other out.. people need your advice... what makes this site great is giving advice to each other.. due to past expierances LET GO, but don't understand running away will not do much either GOOD LUCK

chuff · Jun 20, 2007, 02:20 AM

Sab you have to do what's best for you. If you think leaving is best then you must do it. Personally I feel like it gives me strength and makes me more aware of my own life to give advice here because it forces me to see how human being interact and how to act and react in certain situations. As you've probably noticed most of the issues on this board are ultimately very similar. I think most people get so caught up in there own lives they lose site of the bigger picture which is why many of them are so surprised when they get dumped or something bad happens to them.

You can learn a lot for yourself by helping out others and thinking "What would I do here" or "What is really going on here that the poster doesn't see" and then that actually helps you in your own life. That has been my experience anyway.

But I agree that sometimes you must take a break, and if this site reminds you of her then you need to start putting some new things in your life. Sometimes the best way to "reset" yourself is just to start over stop doing your daily routine. If this has become part of that routine or if you have a negative reaction coming here because of her then let go of it for awhile. Good luck.

rol · Jun 20, 2007, 02:56 AM

EXACTLY Chuff and if everyone left , who would be around to help all the poor newbies in need of no contact!
Poor Tal you would be left with your hands full ;-)

rol · Jun 20, 2007, 03:27 AM

Ha ha

Okkk lets do that ;-)

Let me just say what patient and nice people Tal and you are Chuff to go through most of the posts and give such great indepth advice. Amazing!

Anyhow that's all my niceness for today lol:)

SAB123 · Jun 20, 2007, 05:15 AM

Yes I have decided to stay and help out the newbies and others who have been around since I have been on. But for my situation I think I will be OK. She is actually pushing me away from her now. Her sons step brother drove past my back yard then turned around, then acouple hours later he did the same thing. Then a couple hours later the ex drove past slowely. Now I know she doesn't have a boyfriend and son's step brother was sent to do this. But I don't care know more she is pushing me further away from her and that is ggod for me. Last night is first time I didn't dream of her and slept through the night. But I am going to stay here and help others like I was helped.

SAB123 · Jun 20, 2007, 07:59 AM

I Think have made a huge leap in my healing. Yesterday, was missing her. Was in back yard and saw her sons step brother driving buy, so I ran into house. He drove past my back yard turned around and went past front of house. A couple of hours later he does the samIe thing. Then a couple hours later my ex drives past slow. The way she was coming she went out of her way. As she was driving past last night I thought to myself what is her problem. I believe she is starting to push me away. I had a great night sleep. And I don't think I had one dream about her. And usaully I think of her all the time and I haven't really a lot today. I just hope I can feel like this all the time. But analyized the hole She has a boyfriend thing. I think she put him up to it. And it doesn't bother me any more.

SAB123 · Jun 20, 2007, 11:00 AM

Why is she f******g with me. As you know 6 days ago my ex's sons step brother came over and I asked how she was and said with a grin on his face she has a boyfriend and he drives a jeep with big tires. Then left He got that out and left. The Next night I drove past her house because I was jealous and wanted see if it was true. No jeep she was home swimming. A hour later step brother came to my house and only aske this question and left rite away. He said How are you coping with it. I said I'm OK and he left. I wasn't crying just long day and no sleep from night before. But my eyes were sad looking. Which they were.But yesterday, was in back yard and saw her sons step brother driving buy, so I ran into house. He drove past my back yard turned around and went past front of house. A couple of hours later he does the same thing. Then a couple hours later my ex drives past slow. The way she was coming she went out of her way. As she was driving past last night I thought to myself what is her problem. I still miss her but I think she is starting to push me away. I had a great night sleep. And I don't think I had one dream about her. And usaully I think of her all the time and I haven't really a lot today. I just hope I can feel like this all the time. But analyized the hole she has a boyfriend thing. I think she put him up to it. And it doesn't bother me any more. But why does she keep doing this, even if she has a boyfriend witch makes me sooo jealous keep doing this. If I had a girl friend I would care less about that person I broke up with. I did let go of her last night again and feel good about myself now. For how long I don't know but why is she doing this.

P.S.-My sistuation may be a little different then most peoples here (Read all my threads to know hole story) But for you new comers that read this,Remember I asked him about my ex and he told me she has a boyfriend now. I still get upset but this is why NC and wanting to check up on ex is not a good idea. You may not like what you see or hear. Although she may be making this up It still hurts like hell. NC all the way to you are healty.

Sdjosh · Jun 20, 2007, 11:07 AM

Its simple really. She misses you. She still has feelings for you.

I would say that she doesn't have a boyfriend. I think the brother was put up to getting info on you because she isn't over you at all. She drives past... she puts her brother up to seeing how you are. She makes up this story about a BF to see if you still care. Maybe to even get you to make a move.

Simple answer is she isn't over you at all. She in fact is kind of obsessed with you. She has jerked you around 6 times already. She sounds like she wants round 7.

The question is... has she worked out her problems... has she even begun to heal herself. And do you want to put yourself through any of this again.