[talaniman]

If she does try to contact me in the future should I even bother with her just because of the way she used me.

You shouldn't bother because it will interfere in your healing, no one can treat us badly unless we allow it. Never over look the part you played in this drama. Overtime you will be better emotionally to make a decision on whether you want to talk to her or not. For now, forget it.

[hair2007]

If she does try to contact me in the future should I even bother with her just because of the way she used me.

That's a hard question to answer, you don't know where you will be emotionaly. In a perfect world the answer would be to never have anything to do with her... but again our emotions always get in the way... I don't think you should even think about that and instead move on for yourself you never know what the future brings...

[hair2007]

I can tell you one thing for sure, the girl loves drama.. and it seems like she knew you were always going to be there nomatter what she did or said, she said you are the perfect guy and maybe that's to boring for her it seems. Does she use drugs?
The smoking thing was a really lame excuse to use in my book.. don't call me for a couple of weeks, that was an excuse for something else... did she quit? I doubt it.
I will always wonder to about my ex, but I can only say they weren't in it for the same reasons we were. I think they are selfish users, they say and do things according to their day. I got he perfect speech too, lol.. if we are so perfect for them, what's the problem??

[SAB123]

You shouldn't bother because it will interfere in your healing, no one can treat us badly unless we allow it. Never over look the part you played in this drama. Overtime you will be better emotionally to make a decision on whether you want to talk to her or not. For now, forget it.

[/QUOTE]
Originally Posted by SAB123
From A woman's point of view can you tell me what your take is on all this about her and me. And If you have any questions about her or me to come to a conclusion please ask. Because I think until the day I die I will never no what she was exactly feeling or her intentions were in this relationship. Thank You

QUOTE=hair2007
Hi, well of course its so hard to say because I don't know her. But from what I read and being a girl, she sounds like such a user... im sorry to say that, but I can't help it. She sounds like she doesn't even know how to love you, she is to mean and always thinking of herself only... very materialistic too. Bfore I say more how old are you guys now? Just wondering...

[/QUOTE]
Originally Posted by SAB123
She just turned 41 in 3/23 and I will be 35 on 8/26. She was married for 10yrs to husband he was a drug addict and cheated on her. She got even toward end of marrige and cheated on him. She filed for divorce then met a new guy,he had to stop her because she wanted Ex back. She got pregnet they were together for 3yrs and broke up with him 2-3 times He had a gambling problem. Had child with him. She met me just 2 months after their break up. I had problems in beginning but I pretty much changed my hole life style for her.
She said last year I was a perfect guy, I had no baggage, gambeling/drinking problems, was good to her and son. Would be a good father. Knew I would NEVER cheat on her. Never went out with friends In Past 3 yrs I think I went out to bar maybe 10 times with friends. But aways said she was jealous that I did.
I say this because mabye I was a rebound. She did cry over Ex husband in front of me twice. She would break up with me without asking how she feels or how I feel. And all break up she would tell me months later why she broke up with me. First break up was the worst because of that. We were only dating not even a yr. And I bought a house because I wanted to see what it was like to live on my own. She broke up with me because I bought a house. She wanted to get married rite away. But she never told me that when I was looking at houses. And how she broke up with me she said I'm going to quick smoking so don't call me for a couple of weeks because I'm a real B****h when I stop. I called her within 5 days because I missed her and she said I'm breaking up with you over the phone. She is my first love and for 3 months I was unfuctionable. And when she did come back my heart felt so good. If you need to no more please ask question

[hair2007]

i can tell you one thing for sure, the girl loves drama..and it seems like she knew you were always going to be there nomatter what she did or said, she said u are the perfect guy and maybe thats to boring for her it seems. does she use drugs?
the smoking thing was a really lame excuse to use in my book.. dont call me for a couple of weeks, that was an excuse for somthing else... did she quit? i doubt it.
i will always wonder to about my ex, but i can only say they werent in it for the same reasons we were. i think they are selfish users, they say and do things acording to their day. i got he perfect speach too, lol..if we are so perfect for them, whats the problem???

Not sure if I'm doing this right, wanted to add more, hope this shows up... lol...

I think they like to keep us/ you on the back burner while they do what they want. I'm 37, we are all in the same age area, my ex is 37 too. I don't like to think it as being used, but I can't help to say that, because why else would someone be so unstable in a long relationship? They come in and out because they know they can. They take what they can from it, and play games. That's my take on it. Your situation reminds me a lot of my relationship.

[SAB123]

i can tell you one thing for sure, the girl loves drama..and it seems like she knew you were always going to be there nomatter what she did or said, she said u are the perfect guy and maybe thats to boring for her it seems. does she use drugs?
the smoking thing was a really lame excuse to use in my book.. dont call me for a couple of weeks, that was an excuse for somthing else... did she quit? i doubt it.
i will always wonder to about my ex, but i can only say they werent in it for the same reasons we were. i think they are selfish users, they say and do things acording to their day. i got he perfect speach too, lol..if we are so perfect for them, whats the problem???

I can't remember if it was rite away but eventually she did. I know when she was with her husband she did. And when we were together she would smoke pot once in a while but not all the time maybe 6-7 times a year. When she was married she told me she was doing cocaine. But I really don't know if she used while we were dating. Maybe she did that's why she had a mood change a lot. In the beginning (first 2 yrs) she would never have period and last 3 yrs into relationship she was having period at least twice a month and would last long time.

[hair2007]

I can't remember if it was rite away but eventually she did. I know when she was with her husband she did. And when we were together she would smoke pot once in a while but not all the time maybe 6-7 times a year. When she was married she told me she was doing cocaine. But I really don't know if she used while we were dating. Maybe she did thats why she had a mood change alot. In the begining (first 2 yrs) she would never have period and last 3 yrs into relationship she was haveing period at least twice a month and would last long time.

I asked that because of the erratic behavior... my ex didn't use drugs, he is just so emotionaly screwed up, although he has done steroids so maybe that comes into play. But his personality is just that way with every thing in life. He was or is on anxiety meds. Plus I think he's just e selfish dumb... if they had meds for that he would be great... lol..
Maybe that's part of her problem too, drugs, not the weed, maybe pills or something. Does she still see any of the exes or would you not even know? I know my ex was sneaky... if you don't mind me asking where are you guys from, not that it matters but just wondering... I will probably not answer till after 6ish because I'm on my way to work, so hope I'm helping you out and not making you feel worse... it helps to talk... but in the process we have to still move on... have a great day : )

[SAB123]

i asked that because of the eratic behavior....my ex didnt use drugs, he is just so emotionaly screwed up, although he has done steroids so maybe that comes into play. but his personality is just that way with every thing in life. he was or is on anxiety meds. plus i think hes just e selfish dumb ...if they had meds for that he would be great...lol..
maybe thats part of her problem too, drugs, not the weed, maybe pills or somthing. does she still see any of the exes or would you not even know? i know my ex was sneaky....if you dont mind me asking where are you guys from, not that it matters but just wondering...i will probably not answer till after 6ish because im on my way to work, so hope im helping you out and not making you feel worse...it helps to talk...but in the process we have to still move on...have a great day : )

Yes your probably rite on that the drugs she did.When we were together she didn't see ex husband,she would se her sons dad which she hates. Where from Chicago IL. And yes this helping me out a lot. I feel great today I'm thinking about her a little bit but my heart doesn't hurt as bad. But can't wait to sell house then she won't be able to ever sneak her way back in. Because I feel she will contact me soon. She always wanted to be friends after break ups. But I always said no It hurts too much. And I said it this time. She's going to realize again how good she had it when she starts to compare me to other guys. That why I think she always came back she can't find anyone better.

[SAB123]

I know I don't want her back, But I get so mad for what she did all the bad things she said to me and I get so mad at her for that.And I'm glad it's over. But why do I still miss her noing she treated bad. Wouldn't my subconciousness block my feelings.

[hair2007]

Yes your probally rite on that the drugs she did.When we were together she didn't see ex husband,she would se her sons dad which she hates. Where from Chicago IL. And yes this helping me out alot. I feel great today I'm thinking about her a little bit but my heart doesn't hurt as bad. But can't wait to sell house then she won't be able to ever sneak her way back in. Because I feel she will contact me soon. She always wanted to be friends after break ups. But I always said no It hurts to much. And I said it this time. She's going to realize again how good she had it when she starts to compare me to other guys. That why I think she always came back she can't find anyone better.

If she is anything like my ex, of course she will be contacting you. It sucs. When they do you always think oh maybe things will change... my ex comes around every 2 months or so, saying he made a mistake, I'm beautiful, generous,pasionate blah blah blah... I always hope he won't come around cause it just sets me back 100 steps. So maybe he won't come around anymore who knows and cares...
She wants to be friends so she can keep one foot in the door and one out. Games, all games, but I give them credit, they play a good 1.
I'm gald your feeling good today, usually the weekends were bad for me, but no more. I'm out a lot now so its easier. But whenever my ex finds out I'm dating someone he always comes around and it has srewed up a lot of things for me... my own dumb fault.

[SAB123]

if she is anything like my ex, of course she will b contacting you. it sucs. when they do you always think oh maybe things will change....my ex comes around every 2 months or so, saying he made a mistake, im beautiful, generous,pasionate blah blah blah.....i always hope he wont come around cause it just sets me back 100 steps. so maybe he wont come around anymore who knows and cares...
she wants to be friends so she can keep one foot in the door and one out. games, all games, but i give them credit, they play a good 1.
im gald your feeling good today, usualy the weekends were bad for me, but no more. im out alot now so its easier. but whenever my ex finds out im dating someone he always comes around and it has srewed up alot of things for me...my own dumb fault.

That is what I'm afraid of. She probably thinks if I meet someone I will know that their are girls who will treat me good. Then she knows I'll never take her back. Even when we got back the first time she said why do you want me back I'm a B****H. Then couple years ago said I'm glad you love me because I don't think anyone else could put up with me. I'm glad you e-mailed me I was starting to feel down. I did start a new post ( I don't want my ex fiancé back) for me it seems like every break up get a little easier but not the point to start dating. But when I do keep myself busy I don't think of her. But if she does come back I think she will use her son as pawn to get me back. I pray she don't do that because he has been hurt enough. And know that I think about it more that guy that was over when I dropped her sons bed off was to make me jealous. Because I told her to leave me alone for ever. And I think that pissed her off and thought I'll fix him. Because she knows I'll get upset if I ever seen her with someone.

[SAB123]

That is what I'm afraid of. She probably thinks if I meet someone I will know that their are girls who will treat me good. Then she knows I'll never take her back. Even when we got back the first time she said why do you want me back I'm a B****H. Then couple years ago said I'm glad you love me because I don't think anyone else could put up with me. I'm glad you e-mailed me I was starting to feel down. I did start a new post ( I don't want my ex fiancé back) for me it seems like every break up get a little easier but not the point to start dating. But when I do keep myself busy I don't think of her. But if she does come back I think she will use her son as pawn to get me back. I pray she don't do that because he has been hurt enough. And know that I think about it more that guy that was over when I dropped her sons bed off was to make me jealous. Because I told her to leave me alone for ever. And I think that pissed her off and thought I'll fix him. Because she knows I'll get upset if I ever seen her with someone.

[hair2007]

Why? Do you actually think someone will put up with her? Honestly, its not likely. Think about that, why would you get upset, what are you missing out on? Lying, breakups, exes, I mean let them have her and her bullsh**!! That's what I always think about when I think of the ex with someone else, unless they do some major overhaul of change for themselves, I think they are going to be very lonely people. They are tooooo selfcentered to be in a normal relationship.

[hair2007]

I still think about her when alone but this break up when out with friends I can get my mind off her alot better this time then the other 6 breakups she did to me. This is my first true love. I know its different for each person, but how long does it usually take to move on and not think of them as much and when you were over Ex did you ever think about that person when you were with new person in life. I know it's to soon for me to start dating but I want to get her out of my mind and heart so bad to move on.

Me again responding to this.. lol.. I'm going through this now, when I'm out I think of him, its normal. But you should go out with friends, if you happen to meet someone. It doesn't mean you have to marry them,lol, just for the conversation alone with someone is great, kind of like this site, I have been on a few dates now, I can't lie, its hard because if I know the connection isn't there it makes me say oh no I have to be back out here in the dating world, its scary... I don't think its to early to date or not, if it happens it happens. You need to be out, whether you meet some one or not, you need to hear music, have a drink, conversations, whatever, it helps.

[SAB123]

Please do not give opinion unless you have read my original Thread (Is my Ex fiancé coming back again) To refresh your memory 11 days ago I told ex to don't call, e-mail or try yo see me again. I told her I would drop off her sons bed I did. And their was another guy there. I was very upset she would do that. But she told her sons step brother that he's not her type he's fat.But Yesterday my ex's sons step brother came over (he's 19)My Ex told him to say Make sure you tell him I'm not dating that guy she told several times. And he told her I think he not her type because he's fat, she started laughing. My question is after telling her to leave me alone forever (I know that made her mad) why she would make sure I know she wasn't datiing anybody. I mean she broke up with me why would she care. 11 weeks ago when she broke up with me I asked him do you think she will be back. He hesitated and said maybe. I asked him last night and he didn't hesitate and said she'll be back. It's been 11 days of NC and I guess until I move out of my house it seems like she will always have a way to come back and it scares me. Because I don't want her back butI'm the nice guy and if her and son come over start crying that they want me back I'm afraid I might buckle. Noing that it won't work. Please help because I'm lost rite now.

[SAB123]

why? do you actualy think somone will put up with her? honestly, its not likely. think about that, why would you get upset, what are you missing out on? lieing, breakups, exes, i mean let them have her and her bullsh**!!! thats what i always think about when i think of the ex with someone else, unless they do some major overhaul of change for themselves, i think they are going to be very lonely people. they are tooooo selfcentered to be in a normal relationship.

She told me she don't think any one could put up with her that's why she said I'm glad I can And it sucks noing they are with someone else(but ex's son step brother came over last night a told me something(please read, I think my ex want to come back.)

[talaniman]

These messages between the kids has to stop, for one its not their business and they should not be used as pawns between two adults. This is not no contact by the way, nor is it healthy.

[SAB123]

These messages between the kids has to stop, for one its not their business and they should not be used as pawns between two adults. This is not no contact by the way, nor is it healthy.

She broke up with me why would she care how I feel, meaning making a point that she's not dating that guy. If I broke up with her I would probably care less what she thought. I think she would let me think that to let me know she moving on. The only reason I would say that's not my boyfriend is to keep her foot in the door with me and yes I do know this NC and I pray it stays this way.Yes I told her sons step brother I don't want to hear anything about ex or her son ever when he helped droped off bed that day.

[SAB123]

me again responding to this..lol.. im going through this now, when im out i think of him, its normal. but you should go out with friends, if you happen to meet someone. it doesnt mean you have to marry them,lol, just for the conversation alone with someone is great, kind of like this site, i have been on a few dates now, i can't lie, its hard because if i know the connection isnt there it makes me say oh no i have to be back out here in the dating world, its scary...i dont think its to early to date or not, if it happens it happens. you need to be out, whether you meet some one or not, you need to hear music, have a drink, conversations, whatever, it helps.

Actually when I do go out now I don't think of her that much which is great.And yes it sucks thinking of starting all over and fining someone but I think in a couple of months I think my heart will healty to move on. Unless she starts playing mind games with me again. Which I think she's doing.

[SAB123]

I do believe she's up to her old trick again. Playing mind games with me. She starting to drive past my house again. Monday night and again just today (driving slow. She is a fast driver) last break up I told her I was so depressed I just sat and stared out the window. I don't do that now but was shaving and saw her.She even called my sister to find out if my nephew could spend the night witch she asked a few times in the 5 years. She has no reason to drive past my house When we broke up this time she never drove past house in the beginning of this break up, but now she doing it. In a few of break ups when she came back she did say this what I want out of relationship if you don't want this leave me alone.Now I'm totally confused?