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SAB123 · Jun 5, 2009, 12:46 PM

I think it may I'm not seeing someone, I was seeing someone last year for about 6 weeks and didn't think about ex at all. And yes I have excepted my emotions for what they are I'm just tired of thinking about it. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this but I probably wouldn't be thinking like this if I knew the new guy was treating her like she treated me I probably wouldn't care. I guess I'm just venting off a little steam from the past year.

tree56 · Jun 5, 2009, 05:26 PM

SAB, sometimes it's quite funny for me finding out how many people have been going through the same situation I am. My ex fiancé also dumped me for stupid reasons, and exactly as your ex did, it took me quite a while to have the engagement ring back. She's still playing stupid games with my mind, you can read my thread here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ve-352627.html

See how I -progressively- moved from depressed to grateful about my break up.

Some more extra info: my break up happened 1.5 month ago, last night was the first night out for me, and I realized that there IS life out there for me, for you, for everyone. We don't deserve garbages like our fiancés.. They are the ones that lost special guys.. Their loss, not ours..

As hard as it may sound, explore the world that is waiting for you out there.. It's fascinating.. 1 month ago I was crying over my break up, now I'm GLAD I broke up.. I'm even embarrassed with myself that I was once attached to a garbage girl like my fiancée.

talaniman · Jun 5, 2009, 09:18 PM

Hang in there guy, you just need more time.

At least you were smart enough to come here, instead of act on impulses you may regret later. That's some progress.

I do remember how bad you were, LOL!!

tree56 · Jun 6, 2009, 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I do remember how bad you were, LOL!!!

Hahaha, do you? I do, as well! That's why I'm laughing, haha! I really don't need any more time talaniman.. To be honest, yesterday I had some doubts about going out having fun.. I thought it was wrong, as every dumpee does, at first.. But, I knew it would help me.. And, it did! That's it, I had the time of my life yesterday, and I somehow became addicted to it.. I want to go out again, asap..

So, please SAB, give yourself sometimes to heal.. However, consider carefully to begin doing things for YOU.. No matter how boring it sounds, go out have fun with your friends. This is a must. When I first broke up, I imagined myself flirting with other women, and I wanted to puke.. Yesterday, I did flirt, and felt wonderful.. We are singles again, pal...

talaniman · Jun 6, 2009, 05:19 AM

OOps! I was referring to SAB, tree. That's why I was laughing.

tree56 · Jun 6, 2009, 05:55 AM

Lol.. hilarious

ZamLand · Jun 6, 2009, 06:04 AM

I've been in you're situation, and honestly, I'd love to say that there's a miracle cure, but really, it means that you're not still into her, but you still have feelings for her (as in, if she ended up dating a friend of yours, you'd be pissed) but just give it time, and LOTS of chocolate! :)

SAB123 · Jun 8, 2009, 08:26 AM

I think I am healed as far as I'm going to be?Plus I know I am fine, it doesn't hurt inside no more it just pee's me off sometimes. I mean I will never speak to her again or if I see her I won't look at her. Which I have done already. What I would like to do is flip her the bird... LOL

SAB123 · Jun 8, 2009, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by tree56

SAB, sometimes it's quite funny for me finding out how many people have been going through the exact same situation I am.

tree I have read most of your post and you sound like me... LOL, Here's one of my 14 post I started and B-S I went through.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ain-74347.html

Gemini54 · Jun 8, 2009, 05:07 PM

SAB, I think that she's in your head because you're still angry.

At some level, she made you feel disempowered and inadequate and it's this sense of powerlessness and rage, about what happened between you, that's being replayed in your mind.

I disagree with Tee, I do believe that it is possible to control your thoughts. You are not your thoughts and it is possible to control them because you are able to observe them. This is one of the principles of meditation.

I would suggest that what you need to do is observe these thoughts of rage and anger when you have them, and try to treat them dispassionately. As Tee does wisely say, it's about accepting your emotions and thoughts rather than rejecting them.

The anger is coming up for a reason. Feel it, observe it, tell yourself that it no longer serves you then put it away.

With practice it works.