[platinum21]

I have an issue. Every time I have a family gathering, I tend to avoid it. Whenever I see someone I know, I tend to avoid them or I have an insanely awkward conversation where you can totally tell I don't have anything to say. It's almost anyone and everyone.. even strangers at work asking them how there day was... I just don't know how to respond to anyone or anything.

I get nervous about seeing anyone I know. I will go to the extent of waiting till that person leaves the store until I go in... or I won't go in at all. What is my problem.. I don't even think twice, it's like instinct to hold back like I do. I should be happy to see my family or old friends, but I take it as a negative and avoid it at all costs. I won't even accept Facebook requests by people that I don't speak to on a weekly basis.

The way I look at it is why do we feel the need to stop with a friendly hello when we both don't really care how one another is doing since the only reason we are speaking is because we ran into one another by accident.

Please help...

[DaviesDJ]

I don't know how you are going to deal with your problem but my best suggestion, do try and think twice, try to strike up a conversation with friends and family. That is the only help I can offer. ;-)

[platinum21]

I feel like the black sheep in my family. I am 21 years old, haven't done the whole college thing. I know they love me no matter what, but every visit I have with them is total silence. I never thought I'd say this, but a part of me wants to go as far as avoiding my parents... and I feel awful saying this but we have nothing in common. Every time I get a new tattoo or new whatever, there is judgement. I can read all of these people like a book, and when it comes to spending "quality" time with them... all they do is watch TV and if there is no negativity they don't seem to care what I have to discuss. I seriously avoid my family because to me they have become strangers. They are like robots who work to live and do nothing more. They don't ever leave there house I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. I can't address this without hurting there feelings.

[DaviesDJ]

I think when you spend time win your parents, YOU start a conversation rather then waiting for another person to.

[Fr_Chuck]

This is effecting what you do, waiting , avoiding, at this level you should get professional help

[platinum21]

Thanks.

[talaniman]

You don't sound very friendly or understanding of others. Sometimes watching TV and not talking is how some share and care for each other even if they don't approve of everything they do.

Have you no empathy for others?

[JudyKayTee]

"i feel like the black sheep in my family. I am 21 years old, haven't done the whole college thing. I know they love me no matter what, but every visit I have with them is total silence. I never thought I'd say this, but a part of me wants to go as far as avoiding my parents...and I feel awful saying this but we have nothing in common. Everytime I get a new tattoo or new whatever, there is judgement. I can read all of these people like a book, and when it comes to spending "quality" time with them...all they do is watch tv and if there is no negativity they don't seem to care what I have to discuss. I seriously avoid my family because to me they have become strangers. They are like robots who work to live and do nothing more. They don't ever leave there house I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. I can't address this without hurting there feelings."

You are complaining about being judged. In the same breath you are judging others.

They work and live and do nothing more, never leave the house? That doesn't make sense. It's not all about what you want to discuss. At some point it's about what they want to discuss.

How do they even know you have a new tattoo - unless you know tats upset them and so you tell them to get a reaction - ?

But I agree with FrChuck. If this "problem" is affecting your entire life you need to speak to a professional. You have posted questions about your problems in other relationships as well as depression. Avoiding people is a sign of depression. Speak to a professional.

[platinum21]

I do try to speak to my parents, but all I ever get out of them is a dad who likes the sound of his own voice and a mom who has listened to her husbands voice for so long she has become a mute with little input on everything also she is insanely sensitive. I am not a bitter person, that is why I am coming here for advice.
, I have asked them to come over to my place but they don't, I have tried to get them to go outside... anywhere outside of there house but they never want to do anything.
I do feel for others, and a tattoo was simply an example of unessecary opinions. I don't believe in pharmacudicals or "happy pills" I just wanted some kind advice.

[talaniman]

My advice is for you to live your life and let them live theirs. Accept your family for who they are, and not who you want them to be, no matter what they do or say. Above all stop avoiding spending a few minutes of your time to share care, and catch up with those you know, because such isolation leaves you out of touch with the small realities of life.

It can stunt your emotional growth, block understanding and empathy, and have a negative effect on the quality of your life.

[platinum21]

Thank you. That's all I wanted, some decent advice.