[Adam carter]

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 10 days ago and got back with me on a night out and 2 days later she broke up with me again. We had a solid 7 month relationship and I think she feels that she didn't have fun with me. Maybe because we were too serious around each other but I was very laid back with her and probably fell into that category of not being masculine enough as we both had dogs and put on dog voices etc. and maybe it came across feminine and unattractive. She felt like our relationship lacked laughter also but she still has feelings there somewhere.

I did the NC when we first broke up and was positive towards the breakup and agreed with it. Similar with the second break up. I'm currently doing the NC rule but want to get back with her and don't know how to go about it. She has gotten with other guys out recently too and it kills me to hear about that. I have deleted her from Facebook but we both have each other's passwords which shows that she still has feelings maybe? I haven't contacted her since the breakup which was 3 days ago and would love some advice on this one.

I have the ability to be masculine and confident. It's her birthday soon and don't know if I should do something about that or not. I feel if we get back together that I can show her my confidence and masculinity.


Thanks a million


Adam

>Merged Threads<

[joypulv]

Love has nothing to do with the ability to be 'masculine and confident.' You mention masculinity twice. In fact it sounds like you are both still young and this is more about attraction than love. Love takes time, time, and more time. It means respect and sharing responsibilities and compromising - a LOT. It means weathering any storm.

Don't kick yourself over what you did. Who knows what is going on with her? Maybe she just wants to go out with more people, which is actually important when you are young. You learn more about relationships.

We ALL suffer when we are dumped. Don't I know! Doesn't most of the world!

If she comes back, tell her that it hurts to keep being treated like a yo-yo, and that you need to sit down and talk about what is bothering her deep down. You will lose all self respect if you take her back too many times.

[Adam carter]

She said she isn't looking for anyone new as a boyfriend. She also said that she couldn't see herself getting back with me the first time she broke up with me and then got back with me. I think she felt out relationship lacked laughter and fun and that because I react to people the way they react with me so she's quiet enough so id be kind of like that with her and I would start most conversations. The NC rule worked well last time and she even wrote me a long letter saying how much she missed me and what was great about our relationship but then we got back together about 7 days later and that's when she showed me the letter but then broke up with me 2 days after that because she wasn't sure about the relationship.

[smkanand]

Surely wish her brithday, break up or not. And its just 3 days passed, have patience. You might have to wait for one month or one year and if you love her then be ready. Relationships not about posing ; masculine, laughter, fun etc. so you have to understand that relationship needs fun and laughter but it needs lot more than that like trust, commitment and maturity. So wait to see how things falls.

[Adam carter]

She trusts me and I'm mature. Fun seemed to be the only thing that was lacking from our relationship dragging her away. Now I don't know how to get her back.. Trying the no contact and then hopefully she will miss me

[Adam carter]

I have deleted her from Facebook but she has my password and I have hers which means she can't still see what I'm doing . Is it a good thing to change my password ? I want to get back with my ex girlfriend who broke up with me twice in the last 11 days thanks guys

[Alty]

Change your password, delete her, and move on. If you're meant to get back together, it will happen, but at this time you're not together, and she shouldn't have access to your fb, or anything else, nor should you have access to hers.

This is really a "duh" moment. She's your ex. Treat her that way, which means no contact. Start with your fb, and then your phone, and everything else. There's no guarantee that you two will get back together, and giving her access to personal info could end up really hurting you, not to mention that you won't move on until you've cut all ties.

[Adam carter]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me twice in the last 2 weeks and I've been having no contact with her. She broke up with me twice in the last 2 weeks and the reason being she felt like she didn't know what will be different the second time we went out. She feels the relationship lacks fun but she still has feelings for me and I know this because she was upset last night when she saw my friends which reminded her of me . What do I do ?

[Fr_Chuck]

Call her up and tell her, sounds like it is not a long relationship and she may not be ready for it.

[joypulv]

(Adam, a moderator merged your two posts. Asking the same question twice suggests that you don't like any of the first batch of answers.)

[talaniman]

Dude, break ups are about coping with your losses, not dwelling on them. Getting dumped twice in a 2 week period should have told you something.

Leave her alone and get someone you can share with and have some fun, like she is doing.

[garboozle]

You should keep pursuing her. If you managed to get back with you after the first break up, you'll probably be able to get back with her again. I wouldn't worry too much about confidence and masculinity, as cliché as it sounds, just do you. If you try forcing confidence you will not come across as confident. As for her birthday, buy her some flowers or a small gift you know she'll like.

[Alty]

You should keep pursuing her. If you managed to get back with you after the first break up, you'll probably be able to get back with her again. I wouldn't worry to much about confidence and masculinity, as cliche as it sounds, just do you. If you try forcing confidence you will not come across as confident. As for her birthday, buy her some flowers or a small gift you know she'll like.

Garboozle, the people that come to this site are asking for serious advice from people that are experts in relationships.

Considering your very screwed up views on relationships, I really don't think you should be giving relationship advice to anyone.

I am going to ask the mods to block you from the relationship forum. You need counseling to help with your issues. No one needs relationship advice from someone with such an unhealthy, bordering on dangerous, view on relationships.

I would urge the OP to view Garboozles threads. Taking relationship advice from Garboozle would be very ill advised, as he's proven in his advice to you on this thread.

[Adam carter]

Hey alty, thanks for the help though guys. Its her birthday tomorrow and I know she's upset that I'm not there to celebrate it with her and she had told one of her friends that in time she might want to get back with me. But in regards to being upset about not celebrating her birthday with me.. Should I wish her a happy birthday in text or something and how should I go about that?

[talaniman]

If you can't send a heart felt HB card without waiting or wanting a TY, then don't do it. The last thing you need is a simple TY raising up your hopes, or triggering intense feelings that make you cry. And NEVER listen to what's said through a third party.

I strongly advise you forget anything to do with her as being dumped TWICE is a HUGE flag made bigger by her friends comments.Its insulting to even think you are so in love even after being dumped TWICE that he can get you when she wants you. Pay attention and walk away completely and keep your dignity, AND self respect.

And forget flowers. That's as dumb as it gets. Let her be upset, that's comes with dumping someone TWICE!! Your confusion comes from YOU allowing her to live rent free in your heart. STOP IT!

[Adam carter]

Hey,
I know its weird but I changed my password on Facebook and she never changed hers I'm not sure why though. From what I can see she still has feelings for me but just needs time I guess. Her birthday is a big deal for her and even she said to one of her friends that I wonder if he wishes me a HB and that it will be interesting. Im not going to her birthday because she said she wouldn't be able to hack seeing me with someone else and would ruin her night and visa versa and it would get too emotional for her and me.

[talaniman]

She doesn't have enough feelings to take you back, and didn't want you when she had you. Walk away and don't look back.

She has gotten with other guys out recently too and it kills me to hear about that.

She is pursuing other options and you sit waiting and hoping. DUDE, please wake up! You are STUCK!

[Adam carter]

I want to get back with her sometime not move on. Im going to wait and give her time to miss me. Would a happy birthday not make her emotional that I can't be there to celebrate it with her?

[talaniman]

More than likely, someone else will distract her from her misery. Nobody can make you move on.

[Adam carter]

Well what's the best thing to do to get her back?