How old do I have to be

Helpmelou · Mar 25, 2013, 12:42 PM

I live in Spain and my mum wants to move to Tenerife my parents are basically forcing me to choose who to live with my mum says I don't have a choice but how old do I have to be to decide who I want to live with

smoothy · Mar 25, 2013, 12:59 PM

When you are old enough to have a job and get your own place.

joypulv · Mar 25, 2013, 01:11 PM

How can they be 'forcing you to choose' yet telling you that you 'don't have a choice?'
Those are contradictory.
I suspect that everything about divorce is very confusing right now. You may be asked how you feel, but where you go depends on factors regarding ability to be around for you while a parent is working, the type of schools available, finances, and how big a house or apartment each one can afford. Divorce is costly. It means doubling many (not all) expenses. It's tough on everyone involved.
Usually children are able to spend time holidays and summers with the 'other' parent, the one who doesn't have primary custody. See if you can sit down and talk about how much traveling they can afford to pay for and how much of it works in with work schedules.

Helpmelou · Mar 25, 2013, 01:22 PM

They aren't forcing me but I feel pressured to choose because I don't want to let anyone down

Helpmelou · Mar 25, 2013, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

How can they be 'forcing you to choose' yet telling you that you 'don't have a choice?'
Those are contradictory.
I suspect that everything about divorce is very confusing right now. You may be asked how you feel, but where you go depends on factors regarding ability to be around for you while a parent is working, the type of schools available, finances, and how big a house or apartment each one can afford. Divorce is costly. It means doubling many (not all) expenses. It's tough on everyone involved.
Usually children are able to spend time holidays and summers with the 'other' parent, the one who doesn't have primary custody. See if you can sit down and talk about how much traveling they can afford to pay for and how much of it works in with work schedules.

Well none really have custody because they were never married they are just separated

joypulv · Mar 25, 2013, 01:40 PM

Be the Most Wonderful Child in the World, and say you wish you could live with both of them.
Ask them some adult-sounding questions like I suggested, about finances and logistics and work.
The LEGAL parts of this question can't be answered, because they aren't married, and other factors are involved, such as if he is on your birth certificate. I see that Tenerife is a Canary Island. I assume that your dad would stay on the mainland, and travel might be expensive?