[Alleycatintexas]

Really I hope its okay:/ I really like him and he really likes me. I want to talk to him to disscuss this subject. My best friend said he only wants sex but knowing him I doubt that.
I'm terrified of what my parents will say but my mom and stepdad are 3yrs diff. And my grandpa hated the idea of them together but he got over it after them being married 8yrs.
I can't think the idea of me losing him too.we get each other and I think that helps us.
I'm scared the youth group at our church will judge him badly for it and I would hate that since they go to the Same school.(I don't go to a private school I go to a public)
I hope whatever happens turns out good I just need some guidance.

[odinn7]

Guidance? No, you shouldn't date a 17 year old.

[Alleycatintexas]

Forgot to add this: he acts like A 13yr old. He is mature when he wants to be but most of the time he's not

[teacherjenn4]

Tell your parents. They should say NO!

[Alleycatintexas]

I'm 13 and am in love with a 17 yr old but not sure. We hang out a lot and I know we are friends but I don't know what's going on in his head.
Every time I look at him and we hold a gaze for 3secs then look away. And he seems to sit near me a lot or where he can see me. At church my best friend will point out every time he looks at me and I don't know what it means. Do I have too much makeup on, is my hair messed up? Idk what to think.
He also plays around with me a lot,like teasing me in a nice way. One night we ended up having a war in a parking lot. ( we threw a squishy ball at eachother) 
If anybody can help please say something cause I don't know what to think.

[Homegirl 50]

A 13 year old has no business saying a 17 year old. He should not even be interested in you.

[teacherjenn4]

Don't you have another thread about dating him? You are too young to date, let alone dating a 17 year old. How about telling your parents about all of this? I'm sure they will have plenty to say to you.

[dontknownuthin]

No, it is totally inappropriate for you to date a 17 year old. If you have any sexual contact at all, your parents could press charges against him for molesting you. It does not have to include intercourse to be considered sexual molestation. Then he will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. This will make it nearly impossible for him to get a job, he will probably have to go to jail, and when he gets out all of his neighbors will know he is a registered sex offender. He will not be able to live anywhere near a school, bus stop, playground or park. He will not be able to go those places, or be in the company of minors. If he has neices or nephews or even his own child, he will not be able to be around them.

When you are an adult, it is fine to date another adult who is three years apart in age from you. So when you are 18, it will be fine for you to date a 21 or 22 year old if you want. The age difference of three years is very different for adults than it is for people your ages.

For example, I am 48 and my boyfriend is 55. That's a 7 year age difference. At our ages, it's irrelevant. We are both mature adults who own our own homes, have finished school and raised our children nearly to adulthood. But if I met him when he was 17, certainly I couldn't have dated him at the age of 10! Or if he were fourteen, something would be really psycho if he thought he should date a 7 year old, right? The older you get, the wider age difference is acceptable.

I will also point out that at 13 you are not old enough to date at all. You need to wait until high school. Hang out with kids your own age. It's appropriate to have boys among your friends at this age, and go out in co-ed groups to movies or for ice cream, but you are too young by far to be kissing or dating any boys. Don't rush growing up or what will happen is that you won't get to grow up before you have huge adult responsibilities. You can ruin your whole life by deciding to date this boy, and can do even more damage to his life.

Since you are attracted to this boy, the only right thing to do is stop spending time with him. He is a danger to you.

[Alty]

There are no laws about dating, but at your age your parents will have to agree to you dating him. In other words, you have to tell them, and if they say no, it's no.

If they say that you can date him, that doesn't mean you can have sex, or any sexual contact of any kind (in some places that includes kissing). If you do, he could end in jail.

If the two of you really care about each other why can't you both wait until you're old enough to decide who you want to date? Four years age difference isn't a big deal with your 20 and 24, but at 13 and 17 it may as well be a lifetime.

[ScottGem]

3 years difference is not a big deal when BOTH are adults. But when one or both are minors it's a very wide gap.

While I agree with most of the other responses, the bottom line here is your parents. Your parents need to give you permission to date period, let alone a 17 yr old. So the first thing you should be doing is talking to them. If they say no, then you either have to prove to them you are mature enough (and it doesn't sound like you are) or forget it.

Your friend may be right, most 17 yr old boys are after sex. And he may know how you feel about him and may be thinking you will put out because you have such a big crush on him. But if he's smart he will forget that because you are what is known as jail bait. Sex with you would be illegal.

[phoenix1664]

Ok not to be harsh or a bit lunt but a 4 year difference at 13 years old is way to high, ano offence to him but he should be looking for someone his own age. I am 25 and still I would think twice before consdering a 4 year difference, You need to stick to people your own age, I know that feelings pla a big part in it but life is full of things we don't want to happen but this will be for the best and you never know when you are both older you might meet up then.

But as all the other are saying you also need to let your parent know and talk to them.

ANd no offence here hun but at your age you do not know what love truly is there is no love at first sight you need to know people and be with them. But I do not recommend that you do this for your own sake.

In the end it is your decision but here is the advice

[ScottGem]

In the end it is your desicion but here is the advice

No, it is not her decision, its her parents!

[dontknownuthin]

I will go even further. If your parents DID agree to you dating this boy, they would be wrong. It just isn't OK. No 17 year old boy with any appropriate sense of boundaries would date a girl your age. They might babysit someone your age, but not date. They would not tolerate their friends doing the same.

My son is 18. When he was 15, a girl your age kept coming around our house. My parents live with us and over time both of my sons grandparents, my son and I all told this girl that he is not going to spend time with her or date her because she was too young for him. That was half of your age difference. There were three reasons. One was that she was too young to date at all. Two was that my son was not allowed to date except in groups. Three was that my son, once in high school, was not allowed to hang out with girls younger than high school. There is a world of difference between middle school or junior high and high school, and my son was not going to cross that boundary.

My son also thought it would be creepy for him to show an interest in a middle school girl at the time, and now, as a senior, does not date anyone under the age of 17. He will not even chance that anyone would find his relationship inappropriate in any way. That's an appropriate boundary.

I also question any advice that "if" you date him to avoid any sexual contact. IF you date him, you will know from the start that he does not have appropriate boundaries and does not have your best interests at heart. He will start grooming you for a sexual relationship. He will start by telling you it's OK to hold hands, or to kiss, or to put his hand up your shirt and it will slowly escalate until the boundaries will be gone. You will think he loves you, but it will be a predatory relationship. The ONLY safe approach is for you to stay clear of this boy entirely.

[C0bra_M3nace]

If you have to ask someone other than your parents if it's okay then you know it's wrong. I don't think I need to repeat what was said here but you're 13 years old, you're a minor whether you like it or not and your parents have the final say.