[toddcandi]

This is a 2 part question
First part, my 11 year old step son has had this attitude lately that is a real downer. He's been this way for about 2 months now.
It's like he doesn't care, his answer to just about everything is a shoulder shrug and an "eh". I'll ask him if he wants to invite a friend over, or his cousin. I get that response. I'll ask him if he wants to do something like summer camp this summer. I get that answer.
I wonder if this is a normal phase, or if maybe something is wrong at school or at his moms house. He's always been very open with me so I would like to think when he tells me nothing is wrong he means it.
So he doesn't seem to care about anything much, and when it comes to trying new things, or even doing things that he's said he liked before he is quick to say no. Like the other day I asked him if he wanted a friend over and he of course gave me a shoulder shrug, then I said that the swimming pool that's about 20 minutes away is doing a fun kids night and that I would take him and a friend there if he wanted he said that he doesn't really like swimming. This kids LOVES swimming, that's all he wants to do during summer. So when I asked him what's up there he back tracked saying that he doesn't really like to swim in those kinds of places. Which is also new because he has always begged to go to the pool that's about 40 min away, so I don't see why he wouldn't like this new one.
But that's a good example of what he does and the answers he gives. It's getting to be a real downer. So how do I handle this the best way for him?

Second Part:
His dad (my boyfriend) owns his own business. I work there part time, which is really nice because I can be home after school and spend 90% of the day or more, with W when he doesn't have school. But recently I've started working there full time because he had to let go of his employee. So now I don't know what I am going to do when W doesn't have school. See if I could have things my way we would put him into sports, clubs and other summer activities that would be time consuming but I wouldn't have to be there, so that I could be at work. Here's the problem with that scenario: the town we live in offers none of that! Our town's only entertainment is our small 2-screen theater. So what am I going to do when summer vacation starts? Every other week I am going to have to figure out what to do. I've always used W & I's time during summer to do things active, like go hiking and swimming and biking. And I'd also have him to homework and stuff to prevent summer slide. Those things are very important to me. I know when he's at his mom's house nothing like that happens.
I can have him help out at work some, but I really don't want him to have to be there every day 5 days a week all day long.

Any suggestions to either problem?

[JudyKayTee]

Did you seek help for the last concern you had about him - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...l#post3310119?

As far as work and leaving an 11-year old home alone, I don't think it's a good idea at all. Sports, something else must be available in your town. You cannot be the only working set of parents.

[Wondergirl]

Second part question for you -- Why hasn't your husband replaced that missing FT employee?

[toddcandi]

Second part question for you -- Why hasn't your husband replaced that missing FT employee?

Just let go of him this week. Plus sometimes don't have enough work to pay another employee

Did you seek help for the last concern you had about him - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...l#post3310119?

As far as work and leaving an 11-year old home alone, I don't think it's a good idea at all. Sports, something else must be available in your town. You cannot be the only working set of parents.

There is 1 club that I have left him at before but the kids there are all younger so he doesn't enjoy it at all. The same club offers another group for older kids but he won't be old enough for that till next year.

Post by JudyKayTee;
Did you seek help for the last concern you had about him -

His father & him are doing more together. It's helped that his father has taken care of some medical issues.

[Wondergirl]

Just let go of him this week. Plus sometimes don't have enough work to pay another employee

Can you bring some of the work home, so then set up an at-home time to be with the boy during the summer?

I'm wondering if his new step-sibs are affecting his attitude.

[toddcandi]

Can you bring some of the work home, so then set up an at-home time to be with the boy during the summer?

I'm wondering if his new step-sibs are affecting his attitude.

Good point about the step sibs. I'll ask him about that. As far as bringing work home- no I am responsible for answering phones, greeting customers, cleaning up & more. I've got to be there

[Wondergirl]

Good point about the step sibs. I'll ask him about that.

Be careful how you do that. Don't turn it into an inquisition (11-year-old boys, as you know, hate to be asked endless questions--and even just one question). Can you broach it from a different angle other than directly asking about his step-sibs, like relate something from your own life when you didn't get along with a sib... "I remember when I was 10 and my sister..."

[toddcandi]

Be careful how you do that. Don't turn it into an inquisition (11-year-old boys, as you know, hate to be asked endless questions--and even just one question). Can you broach it from a different angle other than directly asking about his step-sibs, like relate something from your own life when you didn't get along with a sib..."I remember when I was 10 and my sister..."

Yes. I learned that lesson quite quickly :)