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    european poet Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 8, 2013, 01:46 PM
    Is my poem good
    A Danish Prince

    A Danish Prince captures with his charm
    And not armies that themselves rearm
    An entire people, but one man is most affected
    Who sits in chains upon an empty field, infected
    Deserted even by the rain, having seen fed
    The barren soil by the many tears he shed.
    And so he said:
    "For one day Peter wore a youthful smirk
    And in his mind fantasies did lurk
    Of dancing daffodils and fertile beds of roses
    Two bodies embraced harmonizing their poses
    So he led me to a forest with blissful highs
    Our mingling hearts felt the speech of silent sighs
    Long for deep eternity, pillowed on his chest
    My cheek, rising and falling with him; O unrest!
    So sweet in its gentle tempest, that the night
    Like snow so slowly, smoothly falling, just might
    Last forever, as our lips caress, to stay awake
    Our naked parts many rules and laws foresake
    And float, float, together, certain in its trip
    Crossing boundīries to taste of grace a lasting sip

    His blue eyes inspire the ocean flow
    His golden hair the sunīs smiling glow
    Their sparkle warms my soul that to the sky
    It swoons and all the jealous angels passes by
    Who see how this violent lust does so high ascend
    That it frosty peaks and pious spirits far transcend
    Yet may it stay, and to his firm, strong body clasp
    And not let slip his muscles from its abstract grasp
    So superior is he in holy command
    That mortals turn to dust from his demand
    And I am dust compared to the Danish Prince
    Vanquished, for me he is no more and I sit since
    Deserted even by the rain, having seen fed
    The barren soil by the many tears I shed."
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 8, 2013, 03:28 PM
    It's very good.

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