[peace101]

I was VERY close to my brother when he past too, so I feel like I know EXACTLY what u are feeling. Its been 2 years and to be honast I hate to say it I still feel that way a lot. Lost, not myself because I can't laugh and joke and hang out with him. He was my true friend and brother. I can't even explain how mcuh I miss him. I do know that this might help even though it hurts. Just talk about him, talk about the good times u had and the funny things he did. Its really hard sometimes but u will break down but I know it helps a lot, in my case anyway and u can try it. Its been two years and I still find myself thinking oh where's Jo'Rel, oh yeah he can do that for me, but then I'm like oh never mind. I think its because he's ALWAYS been there for me. But For me there was comforting words from people but they never really seem to help. Im pry not helping u none but I do know how u feel and that its always going to be there after the years, it for sure calms down but just talk about him to people who want to listen at random moments, think he is up in heaven in good hands or maybe with another loved one. He is always there, around u and in the air. I feel like I'm rambling and pry making u more sad but I just want to be honest. A piece of u is always with him, weather or not its an actuall part of your body. I have a neclace with his ashes in it I where it a lot around my neck next to my heart and it helps to. Just remember even as lost as u feel no matter what u think he is there with u and to be strong and in time the pain will simmer down and not be as bad as it is now. Sorry if I've not helped u much I prey that u get through this strnger and know he is never gone forever.

[peace101]

I was VERY close to my brother when he past too, so I feel like I know EXACTLY what u are feeling. Its been 2 years and to be honast I hate to say it I still feel that way a lot. Lost, not myself because I can't laugh and joke and hang out with him. He was my true friend and brother. I can't even explain how mcuh I miss him. I do know that this might help even though it hurts. Just talk about him, talk about the good times u had and the funny things he did. Its really hard sometimes but u will break down but I know it helps a lot, in my case anyway and u can try it. Its been two years and I still find myself thinking oh where's Jo'Rel, oh yeah he can do that for me, but then I'm like oh never mind. I think its because he's ALWAYS been there for me. But For me there was comforting words from people but they never really seem to help. Im pry not helping u none but I do know how u feel and that its always going to be there after the years, it for sure calms down but just talk about him to people who want to listen at random moments, think he is up in heaven in good hands or maybe with another loved one. He is always there, around u and in the air. I feel like I'm rambling and pry making u more sad but I just want to be honest. A piece of u is always with him, weather or not its an actuall part of your body. I have a neclace with his ashes in it I where it a lot around my neck next to my heart and it helps to. Just remember even as lost as u feel no matter what u think he is there with u and to be strong and in time the pain will simmer down and not be as bad as it is now. Sorry if I've not helped u much I prey that u get through this strnger and know he is never gone forever.

[herc56789]

I did not make it all the way through the thread, so others may have already suggested this, but... I am a reader and in my own process of grief, certain books have helped me a great deal -- the classic On Death and Dying by Kubler-Ross is excellent. Another book talked about grief as a process that is always changing -- very intense at first, then it comes in waves. After some time, you'll seem just fine, then find yourself overcome by grief, just this huge wave of sadness.

The important thing, I feel, is to let yourself grieve, to understand the anger is normal (you've been abandoned!) and the sadness as well of course. There is no time-line for grief. And let's face it, we never "get over" the people we've loved -- nor should we.

But do know that grieving is different for everyone and that it takes time and the nature of it changes.

Honor your emotions: your anger, your grief, your lonliness and yes, even your joy as that, too, returns to your life, even if only in little bits and pieces at first.

Thank you for sharing. Your post will be helpful to many of us who have and will suffer the loss of a loved one.

[read5]

I just want to say I know what you are feeling my brother died this week and he left his little girl who is only 15 and a wife but the diff is he killed his self because someone lied on him and after his death they even said it was a lie we are all mad and vary sad I don't know what I can say to make you feel better but just don't forget the great times you had with him like you my big brother was everything to me I really looked up to him he was a great dad he coached his little girl team he helped anyone who needed help but no one knows why this has to happen to good people when they are so many bad people in this world it almost feels like no one care but I do know that he love me and the hole family and he would not want to see us cry and be sad so I am just trying not to cry and trying my best to stay as strong as I can for his family his little girl is not crying she is just shocked that her best friend and dad is gone it don't feel real to her yet and I feel like I got to be strong for her now and forever now but the only thing I tell you is don't let him die keep tell stories of him all the good and trouble he got into because that helps me but the feeling of being lost with out him and never being able to huge him or talk smack after his team lost just the great thing about the person you do with them that is what hurts me because I know I will never be able to do that again with him he didn't even get to see his team win this year Alabama he always told me he was going to make my boy into a real man and take him away from the vols and get him with a real team but the truth is you will always miss him but the hurt might go away after so long I don't know about you but it always helps me when I am at his house and with his family we don't talk about it but its like I can still feel him there and I want to talk to him even though I don't hear him I always know what he would tell me even if I don't want to hear it I know what he would say to me just please don't let your brother die because if you let him go then it will be real just make sure when you are out with your friends or if he had a team and they just lost talk smack still and keep his stories alive. Sorry about your lost

[puneetpal]

I lost my brother few days ago and I feel like rest I have nothing I can't expalian my feelings in words he has a wife also and he was married before 1 year and he has a kid of 2 months I don't understand what I have to do

[spiderwoman]

Hi,I lost my brother sudden on 4 feb at 30 years old.time is a great healer but my heart still aches as I miss him so much.the more you cry the better you feel.

[dontknownuthin]

The best advise I ever got in dealing with the loss of someone very close to me was to focus on his life instead of his death, and to accept what I cannot change. I also considered what he would say to me if I stayed stuck in my grief - which would have been to go on with my life. You really cannot consciously stop feeling something bad, but you can consciously change what you do and how you behave and create opportunities to feel happy sometimes, and in time you'll find that while you'll always miss him, you can still have a happy life, also.

For example, force yourself to see your friends. Allow yourself to laugh about good times with him. Do the things you need to do to move your own life forward, and slowly you'll pull yourself out of this overwhelming period of grief.

[cyril1]

Well my story is close but still a great lost,I think ,do things,gave up things ofter his lost,so I had to learn understanding along with grieving and not to blame him or I just had to grasp tighter to the love and forgiveness off our lord,he only let us experience what whe as individual can handle not more also in spiritual ways:he is alwas with us?

[uganda12]

I just lost my brother this past weekend to car accident and I relate to you in every way possible. I'm so angry, sad and very emotional. I was so close to my brother and cannot believe he is not here with us.