[ashie123]

So a 22 yr old started a relationship with a 13 yr old? And what were you at 13 doing at a party where there were aduts?

You need to run from this guy. He has pedophile written all over him.

We only started dating a couplr of weeks ago

Keep in mind that if this is behind your parents' backs and/or without their permission he can be arrested for custodial interference.

Of course, if you're having sex (and that includes oral sex) he definitely can go to jail.

Why is he, at his age, dating girls your age? He should be out of college, working on a career, and you're a sophomore in high school? Interesting.

I don't know what "mindset" means - ?

If you are too young to figure out how to ask/tell your parents you are too young to date him. And he doesn't have the manhood to ask/tell your parents that you are dating? Anyone who encourages you to sneak around is not good dating material.

It isn't his choice to keep it behind my dads back that is my choice 100% he wants me to tell them, I am male by the way and he said that he will wait till I have my parents consent or when I am 18

We have never engaged in any sexual activity together

[ScottGem]

we only started dating a couplr of weeks ago

Ok, let me make this clear to you. A 24 yr old adult has absolutely NO business being in a romantic relationship with a minor. He has NO business suggesting to that minor that she can leave her parents and move in with him while still a minor (even if the law supports it).

So you met at some party (again what were you doing there?) 2 years ago. Then a few weeks ago you started dating? What changed? How or why did you keep in contact over the past 2 years? I'm trying to understand anything that would convince me that this guy is not a pedophile and a danger to you.

[ashie123]

He is one of my fathers staff, and please stop referring to me as a female as I am male, and you don't even know him so you cannot call him a pedophile , I know he is safe because he had a crb check when he started working for my dad

[JudyKayTee]

What does "safe" mean? Your father's employee is going behind your father's back to date you?

That sounds like both personal AND career suicide.

[ashie123]

He is compeletely safe to be around children and minors as the police and social services do not have anything against him. It isn't a carrer suicide as I was wondering if it was legal but if it isn't I wouldn't let him do it as I want to do everything above board and so does he

[ScottGem]

Sorry, But that makes it worse in my mind. First, this person is in a position of trust and has taken advantage of that. Second, a CRB would probably not reveal pedophilia unless he was previously convicted of it. Finally, I think it much worse that this is a homosexual relationship. Not that I am a homophobe, but at 15 you are very vulnerable to an older man. Even more so then a young girl would be.

You NEED to tell your father about this immediately.

[ashie123]

How does it make me more vulnerable may I ask

How does that make me more vulnerable please

[ScottGem]

Because, at 15 its not unusual to be confused about your sexuality. And an adult that would take advantage of that is garbage in my opinon.

[ashie123]

I am completely sure upon my sexual feelings

[ScottGem]

I'm sure you feel that way.

[ashie123]

Don't patronize me pleasde

[talaniman]

No ones patronizing you, just getting you to see that you are being groomed by an older male and likely your own parents don't know of your sexuality, or that you have chosen to be with someone they know, but without their knowledge.

I can understand it, but how long will this fellow have a career on your fathers staff once he realizes his son is in a thing with him? I bet you are still in the closet with your own friends and he has been one of the few who know your secret. Why does an older guy groom a young guy? To keep you close and unable to explore your own world, and yourself. So he will be the only focus of your very young life.

That will make you hopeful, dependent, and pliable in the future. No its not illegal to date WITH permission, but its not honest either, as you have chosen to take your parents out of the equation thereby jeopardizing any support to be able to get a good education and have an unlimited bright future for yourself.

Get real guy, this fellow will not see to your continued education and you know it, so you will be the slave of his generosity to even feed yourself or end up on some menial job that can barely sustain you. All because you live in a small narrow mindset where he is the love of your life, and your parents home and influence have been made as unimportant to that love.

That may be so NOW as you depend on them, but think, you will soon move in with him and live happily ever after forever is the unrealistic part that will bite you in the butt, and break your heart. In many ways you may be mature, but in many important ways you see the world through inexperienced eyes like most 15 year olds.

It doesn't have to be that way, so give it a lot more realistic thoughts of your future than just following your heart into the unknown. That's a lousy plan.

[Homegirl 50]

I agree with all of the advice given. I have a question though, you say this guy says you can move in with him when you are 16 and he won't touch you until you're 18, until it is with your parents knowing. Is this what he's telling you?
This guy is a creep, a pedophile. There is no way someone his age should be attracted to you for good reason.
Have him tell your parents he is dating you if he is such a decent guy. Let's see if he does that.

[ArmstrongMiller]

It's up to your local law...