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jannie · Mar 18, 2007, 03:58 PM

How do I get this girl out of my head after a 4year relationship I found she lied cheated all through it and I still can't get her out of my head any help accepted

mkkraje · Mar 18, 2007, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by jannie

how do i get this girl out of my head after a 4year relationship i found she lied cheated all through it and i still can't get her out of my head any help accepted

Hehe that's a very short post. Write your story and maybe someone can offer some advice

Skell · Mar 18, 2007, 05:31 PM

The fact that she was a liar and a cheater should be enough incentive for you to want her out of your head and life.

Understand that she isn't a nice person and you are better off without her. Someone much more deserving of you will come along soon enough. Just don't sit around brooding over a person that isn't worth it.

chuff · Mar 18, 2007, 08:26 PM

I'd recommend making a list of things that you want to do in the short term only. Hang that list up so that you see it when you go to sleep and when you wake up and start working on those things. The more you focus on those things the better you'll start to feel and less you'll think of her.

I also recommend that if you don't have a gym membership you get one. Working out is a great way to get out of the house but also make yourself feel better. Get on a elliptical or stairmaster and just go for 10 or 15 minutes. Get off and rest and then do it again for another 10 or 15 minutes. I promise you, you won't be thinking about anything else other than what your doing. Plus it's healthy for you. Even if you don't get a gym membership take a walk, and go for long ones if you have the time. It gets you out the house, clears you head, and makes is healthy for you. If you have something else you like that's physical do that. Anything that creates motion in your body is good for you.

origins13 · Mar 18, 2007, 08:41 PM

I'm sorry to hear what happened. I also had a difficult time getting overwith my ex boyfriend of 5 years who had not been very faithful and yet I still think of him a lot. What I do now is that every time I feel I miss him, I would make (or now add on to) a list of good and bad things about him. You could be amazed when you make up that list. For mine, I have pages and pages of bad things about him compare to only 3 good things. Yet, I did wonder why I still think of him. Perhaps we were too hurt from our exes. But I believe time will heal. =)

Skell · Mar 18, 2007, 09:52 PM

Your right tinsign, it isn't as simple as that to just forget someone. I know that too well. But I was just hoping that the poster would realise that in this instance he is better off without the person in question. It is little or no consolation I know but eventually he will realise it.

Chuff's advice is a great start! I strongly recommend you follow it.

talaniman · Mar 19, 2007, 07:44 AM

Getting over an ex is hard, but if you stay busy and work on getting a life that you enjoy with out them, the time will go by faster and the positives you get by enjoying yourself will put you in a healthier place, as opposed to sitting on a pity pot going woe is me. A gym or volunteering can put you in a positive mode and get you through the rough times. Good luck and get busy.

gaytodayyay · Mar 19, 2007, 08:19 AM

Hey I know your problem, I feel so empty right now and all I keep thinking is my boyfriend going off with someone else and his family liking her more than me, its horrible, but you have to get over it, he didn't lie and cheat on me which I think makes it worse:o

sypher373 · Mar 19, 2007, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by gaytodayyay

Hey I know your problem, i feel so empty right now and all i keep thinking is my boyfriend going off with someone else and his family liking her more than me, its horrible, but you have to get over it, he didnt lie and cheat on me which i think makes it worse:o

Id be careful what you wish for gaytodayyay. When my girlfriend told me she wanted space, at one time she told me that she wished she had cheated on me or done something to make me hate her. She said it would make it easier for me to get over, as I would be angry. In my opinion, that would be much worse than her being honest with me and telling me her feelings had changed. It is much easier to accept being treated fairly by someone you love, at least they still care and have the decency to be nice about it.

Well, I just reread what you wrote, and maybe you meant it makes it worse for him that he was cheated on and lied too. If that's what you meant, I just wasted my time writing this, but I didn't want to erase it all

:)

gaytodayyay · Mar 19, 2007, 08:37 AM

Never mind!

I guess either way is pretty bad,
I mean if someone cheated on you, you hate them and you feel hurt and unimportant, but I guess if they just wanted to be single then you don't feel valued and you just keep thinking what have I done and I will never find someone again.

The thing is I really loved him, and I was getting too close and then he pulled the plug and his family was so nice and I don't really have one at all and so it was kind of my family, no I have nothing and no one.

sypher373 · Mar 19, 2007, 08:44 AM

Well I agree with most of the advice above. As soon as you can realize that you are better without her, you will be able to move on. If was dishonest and unfaithful to you, no matter how much it hurts, you must know deep down that's not good for you.

You need to start working on yourself, and once you are happy by yourself, as I'm sure you once were, you will be in a much better place.

Good luck