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    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
    Networking Expert
     
    #21

    Feb 11, 2013, 08:52 PM
    First off, we know very little about your relationship with your boyfriend. For everyone who is saying that there is nothing wrong with you contacting your ex has not asked the right questions.

    If you have a perfectly healthy relationship with your BF then I can see where this would be an issue. However, I seriously doubt it. No one is perfect.

    Have you had issues with your ex in the past? Have you told your boyfriend that you're not talking to him? Have you fought over him before? Have you lied about talking to him? These are all things we need to know before we give you the benefit of the doubt and dismiss the boyfriend as insecure.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #22

    Feb 11, 2013, 09:43 PM
    Two red flags I see are you communicating with your ex and your boyfriend checking your phone while you are in the shower.

    He may be insecure, but why? Could it be because you are the cause of his behavior? Communicating with your ex without your boyfriends knowledge may raise questions.

    Let me ask you this... if your boyfriend would have never looked at your phone, would you have told him that you and your ex communicated that day? Be honest.
    Msbrooks's Avatar
    Msbrooks Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #23

    Feb 11, 2013, 10:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    Two red flags I see are you communicating with your ex and your boyfriend checking your phone while you are in the shower.

    He may be insecure, but why? Could it be because you are the cause of his behavior? Communicating with your ex without your boyfriends knowledge may raise questions.

    Let me ask you this....if your boyfriend would have never looked at your phone, would you have told him that you and your ex communicated that day? Be honest.
    One he don't like me talking to men period this forum would make him mad but no I wouldn't say anything because he calls and he texts any guy that talks to me and he tells them to leave me alone and he tells them to stop talking to me
    Msbrooks's Avatar
    Msbrooks Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #24

    Feb 11, 2013, 10:23 PM
    So my boyfriend has been texting me in a calm manner I'm not too excited about it because I don't see anything to be excited about but I am cautious and I'm still going to do the no contact
    Msbrooks's Avatar
    Msbrooks Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #25

    Feb 11, 2013, 10:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Msbrooks View Post
    One he don't like me talking to men period this forum would make him mad but no I wouldn't say anything because he calls and he texts any guy that talks to me and he tells them to leave me alone and he tells them to stop talking to me
    And I'm talking any man my family even he thinks everyone wants to talk to me and my friends are not my friends it's control to me but I don't know if it can be called something else and he doesn't like my ex he feels like I would rather be with my ex then him but thing is I don't talk to my ex he hit me up on Facebook and I wasn't even talking to him no more then two messages and one was telling him not to message me anymore so I'm confused as to why my dude is even mad when I don't mess with my ex at all
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #26

    Feb 11, 2013, 10:28 PM
    You do realize his attitude is going to have to change. He cannot be so controlling (if he is and has been). And you can't be either.
    Msbrooks's Avatar
    Msbrooks Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #27

    Feb 11, 2013, 11:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You do realize his attitude is going to have to change. He cannot be so controlling (if he is and has been). And you can't be either.
    He is controlling I don't know if it has been something that he has been taught to be by his step father or what because I know that his step father is controlling but I tell him all the time he has to stop this and like he is talking to me it's more like I find myself asking him questions and things and he answers me I'm not saying I have to ask for his permission to do things but I do feel like if I don't say something about anything I want to do in the form of a question he is going to be mad
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #28

    Feb 11, 2013, 11:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Msbrooks View Post
    And I'm talking any man my family even he thinks everyone wants to talk to me and my friends are not my friends it's control to me but idk if it can be called something else and he doesn't like my ex he feels like I would rather be with my ex then him but thing is I don't talk to my ex he hit me up on Facebook and I wasn't even talking to him no more then two messages and one was telling him not to message me anymore so I'm confused as to why my dude is even mad when I don't mess with my ex at all
    First you respond to your ex regarding the Super Bowl in a playful manner, then you tell him not to respond to you anymore? Something doesn't add up here...

    What you should have done is NOT respond at all to your ex.

    You are sending off mixed signals by being playful to your ex.

    Don't get me wrong, your boyfriend does seem insecure by checking your phone. That is snooping. Something I frown upon. I don't believe in snooping. I believe in trust and communication. Something you two obviously lack in.

    If you want to TRY to make your relationship work, then end these silly games.

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