[nicstar]

Hi

Im really worried about something I found on my boyfriends penis last night. I was giving him oral sex when I noticed I felt a smallish lump on the inside of his foreskin, it moves when I moved the foreskin downwards. There is only 1 and I didn't see it but just felt it.
However I didn't stop because I didn't know how he would react to it but now I'm really worried about what it could be.
Is it likely that it is genital warts? Because I know that if it is I could now get this myself in my mouth/throat.
Or is it likely that it isn't anything to worry about and that a lump on the penis is something to not worry about?
Im really not sure how to bring this up with my boyfriend, because if it is genital warts this means he has cheated on me and I could also be affected.

Any help would be greatly appreciatted

[avataress]

Dear nicstar, this is an excellent question that you have asked. I don't know how old you are, but many young people do not get much or any sex education in this country these days. It is really a shame, because AIDS is out there, as well as the usual garden variety of sexually transmitted diseases and one could lose one's life (!) much less become ill.

About your boyfriend's lump, if you feel close enough to him to give him oral sex, then I would strongly suggest you at least mention to him, no matter how casually you want to do it, BEFORE the next time you two have sex, what you discovered. If he has a bad reaction, then you can at least look out for yourself.

I strongly suggest that you go to your medical (gynecological) professional or a nurse or some medical professional you trust and tell her what you've found, and at least get yourself checked to make sure that you have not contracted any disease. I don't know if you know this, you mentioned genital warts, that you can get AND/OR GIVE genital herpes from or to your partner through oral sex. If you have a cold sore on your lip or have had them, you can give genital herpes at any time (at least I know you can while you have an outbreak of the cold sore on your lips) by having oral sex.

I learned this from a college-age couple on TV when I was in my 40's. I have since sworn off oral sex. I will not do it, and I will not let my partner do it to me. I know that this may cut out a lot of pleasure for both me and my partner, but we must both find ways to pleasure each other while protecting both our health. If you are inventive, you can find ways. Also, I WILL NOT EVER sleep with ANY other man (even if he is my husband!) without INSISTING that he use a condom. I am not going to go into what type of relationship I'd like to have, unless you e-mail me and ask me personally. However, that is NON-NEGOTIABLE.

I lost a lover over this, although he was no good for me. It was incredibly painful, as all loss can be, no matter how much better off we may be without what/or whom we think we can't do without! Finally, my dear, you seem very young, just from your posting. I applaud you for being open and smart enough to ask for help. I believe that if you were older, you would have confronted your boyfriend, on the spot, without worrying about whether he would get upset or not. However, if you take care of yourself and pull up your courage and inner strength from whatever resources you can find (and you'll have to do this over and over again), you may live to get to the point where you won't mind offending your boyfriend(s) if necessary.

Good luck, and stay strong, and get help from a medical professional you trust. If you don't have one, find one, PLEASE! You are in danger, as it seems you've surmised from the fact that you've posted this question. If this scares you, it should! YOU have to protect yourself!

[whiteladybug2002]

There is a slight possibility that it is a STD, but more than likely not. You should be safe and I agree with the previous answer on following up with your ob/gyn for your own safety. You need to let the boyfriend know, because it could be some sort of growth that could affect his health.

It could be anything from a pimple to a small tumor, who knows? But it is important for you to inform him quickly.

I would not jump to conclusions on him cheating. I know it can be hard not to, exspecially if you ever been cheated on, but this may not at all be from something he did.

[nicstar]

Thank you so much for your responses

I didn't get much sexual education when I was in school and I admit to being a bit naïve when it comes to this subject.
I am 20 and my boyfriend is the first person I have had sex with. We have been together for nearly 6 months and I waited 2 months before I lost my virginity to him, he never once put any pressure on me.

I know that I have to mention this to my boyfriend, for both of our health reasons, no matter how I feel he will react. I love my boyfriend a lot and if I'm honest I am scared of losing him but I know my sexual health has to come first.
I won't be having sex with him or giving him oral sex until I find out what this lump is.

I just don't want him to think I am accusing him of cheating because if I am honest I don't believe he has ever cheated on me. Also it is likely that me telling him about the lump on his penis will freak him out, because he will probably be worrying it could be something really serious - like cancer (this is what scares me the most). This could inturn make him push me away and I will lose him.

I will also be getting myself checked out a.s.ap to ensure I am not infected with anything.
I did have a urine test on Wednesday (had a check up at the docs for stomach pains I was having) which came back all clear, is it likely this would have some up with something if I did have a STD/I?

Thanks again for your help

[avataress]

Dear nicstar,

I am glad that you decided to look after your health. I must say that you strike me as extraordinarily intelligent because I see very few typos or grammar mistakes in your writing, which is rare these days.

About whether you may have an STD, you may. Usually, to my knowledge, and from personal experience (I experienced severe pains in my stomach which turned out to be gonorrhea at your age), the way to determine for sure is to have a blood test. Tell your trusted medical professional that you suspect that you may have contracted a venereal disease and ask to be tested specifically for that. I may be mistaken about that. That happened to me almost 30 years ago, but I do know that if you DO have an STD and you let it go untreated, the consequences could be VERY serious.

Finally, although I believe that EVERYONE cheats at something or another, and especially in relationships at some point in their lives, I did not intend to suggest that that has occurred in your relationship.. . yet. There are all kinds of reasons people cheat, it's just a part of human nature, I believe, one of the bad parts, which I'm pretty sure you'll discover in your life's journey.
But remember that everything has a "good" AND a "bad" side. If there is anything "good" about cheating, it helps us to know our significant others better, as well as ourselves, and to be more realistic about human frailty. I also believe that there are ways, if we are sincere and work at them, where we can have intimate romantic relationships where we don't have to cheat. It takes imagination, tolerance, a lack of deep jealousy, which may be the largest stumbling block for most people, as well as honesty and self-knowledge.

Good luck with your situation. You have a lot of promise, and I'm sure you'll learn as you go along. If this relationship doesn't work out, if you keep your heart open, I'm pretty sure there will be others. But for now, I would just suggest protecting you and your boyfriend's health.

[whiteladybug2002]

I asked my husband about your bf's bump and he said he had one. He told me that big long medical name for it, but I don't remember it. He said it wasn't nothing to worry about from how you described it, but you should still tell him and have him get it checked out for himself.

[burn56]

There is actually another "lump" type of ailment. It's called pearly penile something, it has to do with bumps near and around the rim of the "crown".