[opodopo]

Help please. Girlfriend of 1 year left me like 10 days ago. But she say that she still loves me and things like that. She said she need some space to think. But I was hurt I said I can't be friend now. But every 2 days she calls me for a coffe, but don't want talk about us. Every time I hope again, even we have some kisses after coffee and so... Last night we went for a coffe and it was really nice, and we had lots of hugs and kissed. I get to a conclusion that we are back together. But today when I asked her out, she said maybe in 3 or 4 days. I said what?? She said leave, me, you are free now, don't ask me about us, now I don't want you, if I want us back together I will tell you so. So I get pain every time. It drives me crazy. I'm pretty sure that she will call in 2 days, but don't know what to do?? Every time I want to see her, but I'm not sure if it helps. She always says that she miss me. But being friend I don't feel that way, and I don't want things toward that way. Please, any comment.

[odinn7]

You're killing yourself by keeping in contact with her and acting like her faithful little puppy. Go out and live for yourself.

[Homegirl 50]

Just stop seeing her. Stop going out for coffee, stop talking to her. You have to take the control away from her. Don't even answer her calls. She'll get the message

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't have to "go" you are already gone.

She is just seeing you some since it is something to do, or trying to play silly games with you.
Break it off, don't contact her and move on

[opodopo]

Thangs guys, thank you!! Just, I now feel that I want her back, you know... Even in that case you think that I should stop seeing her?

[odinn7]

What did we tell you?

But we already knew that we would tell you to stop for your own good and you just wouldn't be able to do it. You came here asking for advice but you didn't really want to hear it.

[opodopo]

I hear it, thank you very much. So anyway I should stop seeing her, that could possibly make her to think or what? Im stoping that. I have nothing more to lose. In the case that she realise that she wants something she will be clear and so... Thank you again. If you have some more opinions, please tell me, Im now quiet messy with toughts and feelings.

And why does she keeps telling me that she loves me, an miss me, and she need time to think, and so... : / thank you for your patience and understeanding

[odinn7]

Really... I read again what you wrote in your first question. I see nothing different than I did when I read it the first time. You wanted to know what you should do, we told you... now you are looking for some ulterior motive to it... like, what is leaving her supposed to make her do and what would be the next step... It's not supposed to make her do anything! Leaving her is to help you.

She wanted time and space to think yet she keeps calling you to come to her every other day. How is that "time" and "space"? It's not. She's playing with you and you're just sitting there letting her do it. Chances are that she may have met someone else... or maybe she just doesn't want to be with you for whatever reason... but she is still pulling your chain and you're running right to her.

That is not good for you at all... you will never be able to get over her if you keep having contact with her and honestly, a relationship like this at this point isn't going anywhere for the long term... it's pretty much over already. Even if you did get back together at some point, it would come back right to where you are now.

Cut your losses... save yourself... stop hurting yourself even more. Leave her, be done with her, stop running to her. Stop talking to her. Tell her it's over and walk away and don't look back.

[Homegirl 50]

She is playing with you and as long as you continue to sniff after her she will continue to jerk you around. You don't treat someone you love so poorly. She like the attention knowing she can control you, make a fool of you and you'll still come running. Use your brain so you can see what she is doing and leave her alone.
How old are the both of you?

[opodopo]

Aaaaargh... we talked a lot, and she sweared to me that it is not anyone else (but honestly she is not kind of person that would kepp that if she had find someone else... or I don't know:). But you're right, its too much really. Im quiting this stupidity. You don't treat someone who you love that way. If you care, you're ready to do anything for some person. So this loving thing is bull.

... sh*t

[Homegirl 50]

Love is a wonderful thing. Loving someone who treats you poorly is bullsh*t.
Leave this girl alone. She treats you bad and seems to enjoy it.

[Jiser]

Stop acting like a little girl and grow some :)

Seriously what your doing is not attractive. Go out and have fun away from her. Word will get back to her sooner or later. Go meet some new girls, try new things and do sport.

The best revenge is to live well. You should try it.

[dontknownuthin]

I don't think you love her. I think you love having a girlfriend and you love the relationship you wish you had with her. She's the wrong girl - she won't have that relationship with you. When she says she needs space but still hangs around you, she's basically telling you "you're better than nothing but I'm looking for someone better". She wants someone who's a better fit with her than she percieves you to be. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you - just that she's realized you're not "The" one for her. She's not the one for you, either.

Next time she calls or texts tell her, "thanks for the invitation but all things considered, I'm going to move on from this relationship and would like you to stop contacting me. Best wishes to you. I realized I want to be with someone who is content to be with me, and that's clearly not you." Then end the conversation. Don't give her a chance to respond or she'll further manipulate you.

Then move on. Meet other girls, ask a few out. Let your friends and family know you are interested in meeting a nice girl, and what qualities you are looking for. Open your mind. Also learn from this dead relationship - determine what you didn't like, what you don't want. For example, you don't want someone who is not ready for a real relationship.

The saddest thing is when people think they are in love with the wrong person and keep trying to make the relationship work, when actually, they are in love with the person they fantasized their partner COULD be IF they changed. They aren't going to change. Stay in love with the idea of a relationship but dump the dead weight girl who's standing in the way of meeting someone who wants what you have to offer and is mature enough to know what she wants.

[opodopo]

Hello people! To be honest at first I didn't listen to you. But now Im quiet sure that it is over. Only that she insist, I don't know why, maybe because of gulit, or maybe to get out from this easier or something, to stay like in OK relation, she bought me birthday present, and she want to give it to me. But never mind. I have another question. In this all mess of relationship and break up that lasts 3 months now, I saw another girl that I like. And because of this all pain and everything, today I felt very comfortable to ask her out tomorrow. Since we live in small city everybody knows each other. So I want to go out with her, but now I feel strange, like am I doing moraly nice thing? Will I hurt my ex... Wil everybody say for me some bad things. But I did everything for this relationship, believe me, I did. An I just feel nice to go out with other girl, wich showed interest for me and so... Pleas, any opinion...

Also Im shy to say but, hey Im 27 and she is 22 o.O. I feel like complete idiot. But only what kept me to be with her was that she is really nice person I think. But on the other hand, in this break up she thinks only about her self. So, I should too. Maybe we could be friends one day, because I think of her like quality person. But now, please opinion about this my new date >D

[odinn7]

Go for it if you think you're ready. Why not? You're worried about hurting this other girl? Seriously now... are you supposed to just wait around and not go out with anyone else so you don't upset this girl that dumped you and obviously is just playing with you? Forget about her. Move on.

[opodopo]

Well, I was in doubt am I ready, but I feel atracted very much to this new girl... so, I guess I'm ready :)) maybe not for love or serious things now, but for a pleasant talk, or something more, hugs, kisses, and someone fresh and new, that I like, to be in contact... I think I am ready. Thank you for your patience, attention and effort...

[odinn7]

That's it then. Don't rush things, just see how they go. Good luck.

[opodopo]

Things became total madness... I went out for a coffe with another girl, and my ex gone crazy. Then we got back together like for a 7 days and broke up again. The thing is that she is still saying that she needs me like a person in her life, but she is not ready for a commitment now. But keeps telling me that she loves me, we had sex several times. Im now much cooler with this kind of "relationship" but still not happy. But kind of, I miss her also like person, Im confused. All the time she is telling she wants to be alone for some time but she needs me after some time again. I know that this sounds crazy, but there are different things in the life. I understand this now as some kind of open relationship... Just I still love her, but now living my life and we will see... There are no rules. But yes Im hurt, and I act sometimes like puppy, but somewhere deep inside I know that she loves me, and she says that, just she have some life heavy period, like som crisis of identity. But also she is every night out with her girlfriends end friends and so. She is also drinking a lot :/ agony or what still lasts... Thank you everyone. And if you have something to say, please... :) At the and I will go crazy or something... Anyway, someday I'll be happy... But now... :/

[Homegirl 50]

You need to leave this girl alone. She is playing with you and as long as you continue to be her lap dog, she will continue to contact you when she has nothing else to do. She does not love you, she uses you. This relationship is textbook dysfunction.
Get a life away from this girl.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ot-730896.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addict...ic-733665.html

Until you are strong enough, or smart enough o walk away and never look back you will continue to let this loony bird drive you crazy. It just gets worse until you wake the freak up!