[Rowan1191]

I feel like I'm losing everything all my life I've grown up in a household with a lot of negative energy loving but negative attitudes toward everything.. I feel as though that attitude has been brain washed in me. I'm on the brink of losing everything because of my negative outlook on everything and my attitude! I wake up every single morning and hate who I've turned into this person I am is not who I really am. I don't let anyone in and I'm always a to the person I care about more than anything! Yes we have had our problems but that does not excuse the way I've been acting. I'm terrified that if things continue like this ill loose everything important to me! When I'm in my moods I know I'm bring a but there is nothing I can do that makes the words stop coming out of my mouth and me to calm down relax and enjoy the little moments that get me outraged. Please someone please help me I'm desperate now! Im to the point where I hate myself and this person I am more and more every day I'm alive

[JudyKayTee]

You need a counselor to listen and help - the only person who can change you is you, and it sounds like you need help in order to change.

I'd go and find that help.

[JARIXA]

I agree only you can change yourself. But you should get a councler because if you keep in all your emotions you can get stressed and all the outbursts you keep having will eventually wear you out and really hurt someone and you'll get depressed
:(:):p

[dontknownuthin]

You should definitely seek counseling. If you can't afford it there are free counseling resources available in most communities - call around. The good thing is that you recognize that the negativity comes from the home where you were raised, and you've recognized you need to change your behavior. It may seem hopeless, but actually, you've arrived at these realizations which are huge steps toward improving things.

Another thing that might help you is to resist lumping everything in together. Instead of stating or thinking that you are "losing everything" list what you have, what is at risk and what you have lost. Separate things so you can manage each individually. It is easy to talk ourselves into panic with these sweeping grand statements like "I'm not worth anything" or "everything is lost" or "there's no point". But if you are really honest and detailed you will find there are a lot of small solutions for all the small problems you are lumping together.

[Alty]

I agree that you need counseling. You seem to put all the blame on your family. A lot of people have crap childhoods, far worse than yours, and grow up to be productive members of society. Any issues you're having, are on you. It's time for you to change how you handle this. If you can't do it on your own, you need professional help. More help than we can offer on this site.

Good luck.

[talaniman]

Start with talking to your doctor and let him lead you to what you may be needing.