[abroger]

I have been with my boyfriend for the past seven years. In that time frame I have cheated lied and treated him like crap. The most recent thing in our relationship is we entered a three way relationship because of me. Before it started he asked me if he was worth losing him over the three way relationship. I stupidly said yes. Then he also said that it would end us.

Since then we have been on the verge of breaking up. It’s been up and down. During this whole time after the three ways relationship ended we have still been sharing a bed and acting like we are still in a good and healthy relationship. His actions have been one way but his words have been different.

Well just yesterday he ended it but we are still living together and he just wants me to live in the other room. This is supposedly until I can move out. But he also stated that maybe we just need a break for a couple of months. I am lost. I have been changing my ways treating him better and even going to therapy.

Is there anything I can say or do to show him and or prove to him I am to stay a better person this time? Thank you

[Homegirl 50]

I don't know. He may be tired of all your shenanigans.
Keep up your therapy and be better for the next person.

[samcreed]

There isn't much you can do, except leave him alone. By not pushing this, you might have a chance. If he doesn't want to give you another chance, then it's out you go. Personally, I would have ended the relationship much, much earlier than this! Good luck.

[talaniman]

Focus on the changing yourself part, and let the rest fall into place. I mean there is no magic advice that can erase 7 years of abuse, and its very foolish to think there is.

Hope you better yourself no matter what happens.

[dontknownuthin]

I think you should let him go because if you care about him at all, you need to recognize that you haven't been healthy for him. You can't say anything to undo his direct experience with you. It won't mean anything.

You can just change your ways and respect his boundaries. Don't do it with the motivation of getting him back - no more manipulation. If you want another chance, tell him you want another chance and it's up to him to decide if he will give it to you. Don't try to talk him into it or game him into it or coerce him into it. He asked you to move out, so respect his wishes and make quick work of moving out.

I would never get past the three way thing - never. I would not give someone who cheated on me another chance, either. And after seven years, I'd certainly feel I'd given enough of my life to the other person - there would be no second chances.

He probably won't give you a second chance but you can give one to yourself by at least being genuine and reasonable and accepting of his decision and leave in a caring and respectful way. Take some time to mature, and be a decent partner next chance.

[joypulv]

You prove yourself with actions. You prove yourself by being a better person for at least as long as you treated him like dirt. You prove yourself by putting up with any pent up anger that may well up out of him after years of grief. You put on sackcloth and ashes and crawl on the floor. No, not that last one. But that is just to emphasize that it is going to take a lot of time and a lot of work, and most people aren't able to do it. Most people change only for a little while.