Check out some similar questions!

Elvisrosas · Jan 27, 2013, 08:50 AM

Well me and my girlfriend have been fighting a lot. And yesterday she told me she had no feelings for me and I really love her so we broke up. I really want to get back with her, but I don't know what to do to get her to re like me like we used to. She might be pregnant, we are not for sure but if she is, I really want to be there we have our child. But lately we have been fighting a lot, and I don't know if we will ever be back together. So my question is what can I do to make us happy and be back together?

talaniman · Jan 27, 2013, 09:44 AM

Why were you fighting instead of discussing? How old are you both? My advice is leave her alone to get her own head together to miss you, or not, and decide what she wants without your influence.

A cooling off period if you will, because she surely will let you know when she is ready to talk or not. This will require you to be cool, calm, and collected, and in control of yourself to prevent the impulsive behavior and desperate actions that will surely convince her the breakup was a great idea. Let her think it through and judge her own actions and feelings my friend. You judge your own.

Trust me, its probably the hardest thing you ever do, but the most important.

ITstudent2006 · Jan 27, 2013, 10:01 AM

I completely agree with Talaniman. Something you have to consider is you can't make someone be happy, or make someone love you. If we could, I would make Blake Lively love me :D

Elvisrosas · Jan 27, 2013, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Why were you fighting instead of discussing? How old are you both? My advice is leave her alone to get her own head together to miss you, or not, and decide what she wants without your influence.

A cooling off period if you will, because she surely will let you know when she is ready to talk or not. This will require you to be cool, calm, and collected, and in control of yourself to prevent the impulsive behavior and desperate actions that will surely convince her the breakup was a great idea. Let her think it thru and judge her own actions and feelings my friend. You judge your own.

Trust me, its probably the hardest thing you ever do, but the most important.

Like for some reason I would have random trust issues and get all worried and argue with her for talking with other guys and we would get mad at each other for going out with our letting each other know

I'm 19 and she is 18 I know we are really young bad choices

talaniman · Jan 27, 2013, 01:31 PM

Thought it was somethig like that, but like I say TIME OUT for love and romance. Find other things to do on your own.

Elvisrosas · Jan 27, 2013, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Thought it was somethig like that, but like I say TIME OUT for love and romance. Find other things to do on your own.

Oh haha thanks for the advice but OK ima give her time but if she texts and calls me should I ignore or what should I do?.

talaniman · Jan 27, 2013, 05:35 PM

You better answer, and be a good listener. You resolve it together, or apart. One way or the other. See what happens.

Elvisrosas · Jan 30, 2013, 04:52 PM

So my friend needs help she lives with her mom and what she had tools me is that she had been feeling really depressed lately because her mom has been putting her anger out on her (not physically) she had been saying that she has been a mistake and how her brothers and sisters are more better than her (which is not true) her mom had been arguing with her mostly every day now she is really depressed . Can I get some help please to help her I really care for her and I hate seeing her this way

dontknownuthin · Jan 30, 2013, 04:59 PM

How old is your friend? Is her father part of her life?

One thing you can do is encourage your friend to recognize that her mom is a person and is probably acting out her own frustrations in life. Sometimes we are hardest on the people we love the most. Mom is probably facing financial problems, or spread too thin with all she has to do as a single mom.

Another thing she can do is, when her mom isn't on a tirade, try to sit down and talk to her mom and ask what she can do to help take some pressure off. She has to be willing to help. Even saying, "mom, I know you work really hard and are under a lot of pressure. It may not seem like it always, but I do appreciate it and I love you." Maybe she could say it with a card.

She can also surprise her mom by doing something helpful for her. When my mother was under a lot of stress when I was a teenager, my sister and I would clean the entire house when Mom wasn't home as a surprise. We did it several times and it really helped her so much. She appreciated it a lot. It made her feel less like we just took her for granted.

Sometimes though, parents can be depressed and stuck and there may be nothing their kids can do to help. In that case, your friend just need her own support system to work with the situation and not take too much of what Mom says to heart - to learn to hear it as "mom is venting her own stress" and not "mom means it - she hates me". She can go to a school counselor, confide in an adult relative or even get more involved in school or get a part-time job so she's home less and subjected to it less.

If her Dad is in her life, perhaps she could move to be with her dad, or he could intervene on her behalf.

Let us know how things work out.

Elvisrosas · Jan 30, 2013, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

How old is your friend? Is her father part of her life?

One thing you can do is encourage your friend to recognize that her mom is a person and is probably acting out her own frustrations in life. Sometimes we are hardest on the people we love the most. Mom is probably facing financial problems, or spread too thin with all she has to do as a single mom.

Another thing she can do is, when her mom isn't on a tirade, try to sit down and talk to her mom and ask what she can do to help take some pressure off. She has to be willing to help. Even saying, "mom, I know you work really hard and are under a lot of pressure. It may not seem like it always, but I do appreciate it and I love you." Maybe she could say it with a card.

She can also surprise her mom by doing something helpful for her. When my mother was under a lot of stress when I was a teenager, my sister and I would clean the entire house when Mom wasn't home as a surprise. We did it several times and it really helped her so much. She appreciated it a lot. It made her feel less like we just took her for granted.

Sometimes though, parents can be depressed and stuck and there may be nothing their kids can do to help. In that case, your friend just need her own support system to work with the situation and not take too much of what Mom says to heart - to learn to hear it as "mom is venting her own stress" and not "mom means it - she hates me". She can go to a school counselor, confide in an adult relative or even get more involved in school or get a part-time job so she's home less and subjected to it less.

If her Dad is in her life, perhaps she could move to be with her dad, or he could intervene on her behalf.

Let us know how things work out.

Her mom does not work and her dad lives in a different state she said she tried talking about it with her mom but nothing works and she tried a school counselor but it had not worked she told me out was something from the past but she doesn't not wasn't to talk about it and its making me really sad how she keeps holding it I'm with no help

dontknownuthin · Jan 30, 2013, 07:02 PM

Well, maybe she needs to see a different counselor at school. They aren't all good. Just be her friend. You can't fix this for her.

Elvisrosas · Jan 30, 2013, 10:35 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Well, maybe she needs to see a different counselor at school. They aren't all good. Just be her friend. You can't fix this for her.

Well the thing is this friend is my ex and part/mostly reason we broke up is because of her mom and I have been trying to help her and help her emotions so she wouldn't be as sad but its really hard when get mom is always emotionally/mentally abusing her

talaniman · Mar 23, 2013, 08:05 AM

Leave mom alone to deal with her daughter. You are an ex so back off as you may want to help, but maybe you are the problem.

dontknownuthin · Mar 24, 2013, 09:44 AM

Well, you aren't helping matters trying to help matters! She broke up with you and doesn't want you in her life, and you aren't respecting her boundary. Her mom doesn't listen to her and apparently you don't either.

The way to help is to respect her wishes and take her at her word. She doesn't want to be with you, so leave her alone. If you want you can tell her, "I'm going to respect your wishes and back off and stop hoping for us to get back together. Just know it breaks my heart because I still care for you. My door is always open and I'll count on you to let me know if you need me. Otherwise, I'm going to leave you alone".

If you do this, you will know that she is aware how you feel - it's all been said, and you give her the power while respecting her wishes. Then move on. Date other people, see your friends, work on school, get a job or whatever else you can do to forward your personal objectives.

In the future, should she call you up, set reasonable boundaries. Be a friend but don't get personally involved (meaning, don't let it change anything you're doing in your own life) until and unless she's emotionally stable and knows what she wants.