[raj10021985]

Hi,

This is Raj, I am in india. I am 27 yrs old working. I am in love with my cousins daughter (second cousin).She is 19 yrs and doing his engineering 2nd yr.We became good friends some days before. She know all about me that I had a loved a girl before 8 yrs. And she got break up with is boyfriend 1 yr. Now I proposed her last week. She said she is thinking me as his brother and then says she can't able to think me like boyfriend.But she said she like me lot, some times she says I am worried about the family relationship will spoil if we do like this. She says I don't deserve her. I am Trying to understand in daily by chat. But I feel it seems whether I am forcing her.

I am trying to convince her but is it right to do.

I love her a lot but the problem she faces is she called me as brother and said she really mean me like that.

What should I do, I am confused a lot what I am doing is right or wrong I don't know.

I truly love her a lot

Kindly advice me what should I do...

Regards,
Raj

[joypulv]

It isn't clear whether she is worried about the fact that you are second cousins (not a concern as far as having children is concerned, unless there is a lot of prior inter-marriage in your two families) or if she just isn't attracted to you in a romantic way, and is too polite to be blunt.
I would ask her that, very directly.
Keep in mind that she is still in school, and meets lots of young men there. She also doesn't know where her schooling will lead, more school, or a job, and where she will be. Many factors that stand in your way, and trying to pressure her is going to drive her away.

[raj10021985]

Thanks for your valuable advice.

She say she was calling me as brother for so many days and how to think me as his BF. She also says she likes me a lot, sometimes she says worried about the family "they will think we have cheated their trust nu", some times she says I won't suit for your family nu.

Totally confused about her, I don't know what she is thinking about me.

Is it right to love her, if yes kindly suggest me the best ways to make her feel my love is worth.

What ever I loved her a lot.

Regards,
Raj

[joypulv]

OH, I see now the part about her family trusting her to be with you because you are cousins!
That is a valid worry on her part.
It still doesn't tell you if she has romantic feelings for you or not though, does it?
I guess you are just going to have to wait, not pressure her, but still keep letting her know in sweet little ways that your feelings are romantic.
I know that time seems like it's forever, I'm sure... but wait you must. Or stay away from her.
You could tell her that you have to stay away because you are in love and it hurts.
Then she has to contact you if she misses you, and has decided that she loves you.

[dontknownuthin]

I know marriages between cousins are common in India. Here in the US they are a social taboo. I think because she has known you for a long time and thought of you as a relative, it is hard for her to change the way she feels about you now. It sounds from your description that for some reason her family do not think you are a good match for her - which is weird, since her family is also your family.

It sounds like she does not want to marry you. Instead of trying to talk her into it, ask your family for help meeting other young ladies who are interested in marriage, and see if you can fall in love with someone else.

I do not think this will hurt your family unless you continue to try to push her to marry you. If you do that, it will become very uncomfortable for the family since she does not want to marry you, but also, I'm sure, does not want to offend your parents or hurt or offend you.