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tx2398 · Mar 16, 2007, 12:15 PM

My son is 20 years old and his girlfriend is 2 months pregenant and their much confusion "Brenda" who is 18 was raised by her grandparents because her mother died a month after she was born due to blood clot. Her Mothers parent did not care for her dad which was married to there daughter. Brenda always let it be known that her grandparents have plenty of money so I am scared now Brenda and my son had argument bECAUSE SHE GAVE HIM CHYLMEDIA. So Brenda left to stay with Her best friend well it all boils down to her grandparents and her father found out now they are threating us with not being able to see our first grandchild. Before Brenda was able to get to our house where she has been staying for appox 4 months. Her grandmother held her in her house for 2 hours not letting her leave. My son was outrage that they did this so he said some harsh things to her grandparents and father it was so bad that her grandparents and father came to my house where the police was called to have them leave. Brenda went with them because they are threating to take her car away from her that was bought with money from her check received from her mothers death She is scared too at 18 she has a time limit and now is not allow to call or come over here. I am also worried because both Brenda and my son have used pot/ weed. Among other drugs Brenda was hooked really bad and I am afraid she may be using again or may get a abortion because of her grandparents want that. My son is bipolar and brenda is ADHD that I know of. Is there any rights for a father /grandparent's so that we can attend Dr visits? For the last year Brenda has basically lived were ever she could and they did not care but now that she is pregenant they are trying to rule her life again. As of right now we have not seen nor heard from her in 2 days PLEASE HELP!

ATYOURSERVICE · Mar 16, 2007, 09:55 PM

There are a lot of issues here. First, the mental and addiction problems. What kind of parents will they make. They may not award any rights to your son because of it. The other issue is a control issue. Brenda is 18. She is legally an adult and they have no rights unless she has been deemed mentally unable to care for her self and should be a court that does that. She can come to your house and stay there. They can go to your house but it would be trespassing. Be strong for your son, but you will not have rights to fend for the baby. Her grand parents who WERE legal custodians may have more rights. This also would depend on what state you are in. There are many free family law practices to provide information. Good luck. Also one last thing. She can be entitled to her mother money/estate at 18 unless stipulated otherwise.

tx2398 · Mar 17, 2007, 10:07 AM

Thank you My son is in a treatment program as of yesterday I do not understand why he was in drugs because nor me or his father has ever used any and also we have both been born and raised her locally and have a good reputation I work for the local school district. His dad was hurt in a constrution accident in 1988 that has left him disable. I know my son would be a good father. We live in Texas I know that the laws here are really iffy? Usually if you have the money you can buy what you want in our small town.that is what scares me me the most.I known that Brenda's Grandparents are very controlling and she does not want to hurt their feelings or get them mad at her due to the money issue from her mother and because they have raised her.I have told her that they can not keep the money away or her away from us unless she lets them control her life. Do you think it would be a good ideal for us to send money orders to her to help her during the so we can have proof that we are trying? Should we go pay the co-pay of $200.00 that will pay for all of her prenatal visits and delivery of the baby. Please share any ideas that may help us with this to show that we want her and the baby.

Moostepher · Mar 18, 2007, 01:55 AM

Originally Posted by tx2398

My son is 20 years old and his girlfriend is 2 months pregenant and their much confusion "Brenda" who is 18 was raised by her grandparents because her mother died a month after she was born due to blood clot. Her Mothers parent did not care for her dad which was married to there daughter. Brenda always let it be known that her grandparents have plenty of money so I am scared now Brenda and my son had argument bECAUSE SHE GAVE HIM CHYLMEDIA. So Brenda left to stay with Her best friend well it all boils down to her grandparents and her father found out now they are threating us with not being able to see our first grandchild. Before Brenda was able to get to our house where she has been staying for appox 4 months. Her grandmother held her in her house for 2 hours not letting her leave. My son was outrage that they did this so he said some harsh things to her grandparents and father it was so bad that her grandparents and father came to my house where the police was called to have them leave. Brenda went with them because they are threating to take her car away from her that was bought with money from her check received from her mothers death She is scared too at 18 she has a time limit and now is not allow to call or come over here. I am also worried because both Brenda and my son have used pot/ weed. among other drugs Brenda was hooked really bad and I am afraid she may be using again or may get a abortion because of her grandparents want that. My son is bipolar and brenda is ADHD that I know of. Is there any rights for a father /grandparent's so that we can attend Dr visits? For the last year Brenda has basically lived were ever she could and they did not care but now that she is pregenant they are trying to rule her life again. As of right now we have not seen nor heard from her in 2 days PLEASE HELP!

No right for a GP to attend Dr visits. Period.

ATYOURSERVICE · Mar 19, 2007, 09:53 AM

TX, Glad to hear that your son is in a treatment program. Remember stopping drug addiction is the addict's choice. Also remember that no one breeds an addict. Many addicts come from good homes, religious homes, and loving homes. I do not beieve there is any evidence that addicts learn or pick it up from their parents. I mention this as your comment seems to question the addiction and your parenting.
In regards to the courts, sure I suppose in a small town it's who you know and how much you pay, but you can petition higher courts. The State Court would be your next move, if it comes to that. They really can't keep the father away unless he is a criminal of some kind.
I suppose you can send her money and assist with the co payment amounts, but it is more for your son to look as he is showing effort in assisting. He then would at least get 1/2 custody of the child. Now when brenda has the baby, she is the legal responsible person and she can leave and go live with you. I believe the granparents will not petition the court for anything. They have to prove the inability of the parents to parent.

Right now really focus on your son and how he will better himself so you will look good in the eyes of the court.