Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    carterz's Avatar
    carterz Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 9, 2013, 09:59 PM
    What is a normal grieving process? When does it get easier?
    Ultimatly her addiction killed her but an episode that Intervention aired several years ago taught her an undetectible way to get high. Since that episode aired, computer duster became the biggest love in her her life and the biggest demon in her life. She told me a few years ago that she found out about her drug of choice on Intervention. Sad, a show that is supposed to save lives helped take a life and I'm sure she isn't an isolated case. One month ago tonight I received the horrifying phone call that they found her... they found my friend dead. How did she die you ask? Computer duster killed her. They found her with empty cans all around her. She was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a dear friend, and most importatly a mother. I was so angry at the show when she told me where she learned of huffing canned air. It's one thing to show drugs that people know about and hear about all the time... It's one thing to show alcohol, it's every where. But to teach people about something that isn't common? My friend is dead! My heart is broken, the uneasy feeling in my stomach won't go away, and I am overwhelmed with grief. If she had never watched that episode she might still be alive today! I can't get the image of them finding her out of my head and the grief has seemed to get get worse over time than better... I myself struggle with an addiction to alcohol. I had been sober for 18 months and got through the viewing and the funeral without drinking. But last weekend I slipped and drank some wine. Thankfully I got right back up on the wagon but I just wish I knew when this will get easier. Getting through this sober is so difficult.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 9, 2013, 11:37 PM
    No two people grieve the same. Currently you are wanting to blame someone else for your friends actions ( the TV show) but this and paint huffing is well known and done by kids all the time.
    Also it is common to find anger with yourself, why did you not do something, than perhaps anger at her other loved ones who saw her daily and did little.

    But with any addiction it is the persons choice to do it, or not do it. No one but your friend is to blame, and accepting that will be one of the first steps at healing. Placing the blame properly.

    After that, time makes and puts things into place normally as we go on with our lives
    carterz's Avatar
    carterz Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jan 16, 2013, 08:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    No two people grieve the same. Currently you are wanting to blame someone else for your friends actions ( the TV show) but this and paint huffing is well known and done by kids all the time.
    Also it is common to find anger with yourself, why did you not do something, than perhaps anger at her other loved ones who saw her daily and did little.

    but with any addiction it is the persons choice to do it, or not do it. no one but your friend is to blame, and accepting that will be one of the first steps at healing. Placing the blame properly.

    After that, time makes and puts things into place normally as we go on with our lives
    I'm having a hard time with this again. I can't stop crying, my friend is dead... I can't get her face out of my head... I haven't had a drink because of her death but it's so hard. She didn't mean to die, I know she didn't mean to
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 16, 2013, 10:56 PM
    I have been present at many peoples death, and you may never get her face out of your head, it is great to always remember them, and remember the good,
    But sorry, she made her choices and those choices killed her, so she did and was the blame for it.

    I may be missing it, but how long has it been since she passed ?

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Grieving and Depressed [ 2 Answers ]

I lost both my parents in the past year. Holidays are especially hard, but truly every day is difficult. I lived 500 miles from them the last 20 years, but talked w/my Mom daily (pretty much). I miss her so much and of course have no one to fill the huge void she left. I have a wonderful...

Is feeling like you'll stay single forever part of the grieving process? [ 3 Answers ]

Ok so after a break up I've read you go through stages of grief and I guess I went through a lot of them, but I'm feeling like now I'm at the acceptance stage because I've let go of everything but I'm not sure because I also feel like I've given up on dating and guys! I feel like I'm not going to...

Grieving Cat [ 5 Answers ]

My two female cats lived together for nearly 17 years. It's been one month now since Pietra suddenly died, and Pumpkin (who has been diagnosed with cancer last august) has not been the same kitty since. She's constantly meowing (the low guttural cry, the baby screaming cry, the please help me...

Grieving dog [ 3 Answers ]

My 10 year old jack russell died very suddenly at home about one week ago his best friend is my 8 year old female jack russell who is now grieving. We are trying to keep her happy and feel needed and loved, but how do we help her when we are at work all day. I leave both a radio & TV on for her,...

Is this the normal healing process? [ 7 Answers ]

Heyy everyone! Well its been a little bit since I posted on here. Lately I have been having a really difficult time moving on from my past relationship- as most of you might know, my boyfriend dumped me after 2 years together. We had planned a future, talked about marriage and the love was...


View more questions Search