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Deliberating32 · Jan 9, 2013, 10:08 AM

Utter in a loss about what to do...

My boyfriend (of 4 years) asked me to marry him in Nov 2011 and since then everything has been turned upside down.

2012 was my future parent in law 60th's and they wanted a part (a wedding style party) to celebrate. This was fine but they then said no to us having any dates around it - family inconvienience and would affect their party. This obvoiously caused upset. A month later my furture brother in law got engaged and they announced they would marry on a date just 7 away from one of the days which were disallowed for us.

This is now all in the past but we are now 15 months on and no wedding - not even a date. My boyfriend shys away and sems to put his head in the sand. I am 32 and am getting to the stage that a want to get on with my life. This is causing me upset and I am distancing myself from everyone - am I the only one that wants to marry?

I feel alone and don't know who to talk to.

Please help! I need advice xxx

Wondergirl · Jan 9, 2013, 10:18 AM

What might prevent a wedding date to be set now that it is 2013?

joypulv · Jan 9, 2013, 10:19 AM

Since when does the groom's family make such decisions? Who is paying for the wedding?
If they are... I guess you bite your tongue and wait. If your parents are, you put your foot down with your fiancé, not his parents. If you and your fiancé are paying because you are old enough to do so, then you tell him that you and he need to have a long serious talk about priorities. If it doesn't work, you have to decide whether to break the engagement, despite being 32 (which isn't as old as you seem to think). There's no point in whining and demanding and begging and trying to be rational if someone is hiding his head in the sand (not saying you have been). Feel free to tell him it hurts that he isn't eager to get married within the usual year, and that perhaps he is looking for a way out. Yes, it's calling his bluff, but the alternatives are to leave or wait.

mark25624 · Jan 9, 2013, 12:17 PM

I agree with it!
That simple!!

Alty · Jan 9, 2013, 02:06 PM

If the grooms parents can't stop interfering, don't give them a choice. Elope in Vegas, or a location of your choosing, and get on with your lives. Obviously his parents don't seem to care if you have a wedding or not, so just do it your way, when you want, and don't include them, just like they didn't include you in their anniversary party.

mark25624 · Jan 9, 2013, 03:22 PM

Or 1 better!
Get married where you want!
Then have a party where you want and invite yours and his friends and in Gen. Family.
If his parents do show up.
Do not bring it up to them.
Like nothing happened!