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1Joker2 · Jan 8, 2013, 10:22 PM

My son in law an daughter live 1500 miles from me I use to think he was a nice person until they got a house an had my first grandson I saw him when he was first born an I made it to he's birthday only to get told that I need to make other arrangements an stay somewhere else I have spent every bit of money just trying to spend time with my grandson I welcome family in my house day or night 1 Don't get that kind . How do I deal with such mean inconsideration coming from my son in law

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2013, 01:41 AM

So they do not wish for you to stay in their home, when you visit, Is that the only issue, they are OK if you visit, OK with you coming, they call and talk to you on the phone ?

Many people do not like family staying with them in their home. This is really not unusual at all.
While some families may have a house full, others expect out of town people to get a hotel or B/B and not stay in their home.

Have you talked to daughter about why?

But I know many people like that, and it is the way they were raised, and how their family do things and their culture.

While it may be normal in your mind, it is far from normal for many people to have overnight guests in their home

joypulv · Jan 9, 2013, 02:09 AM

Sometimes it's a mean SIL or DIL. Other times it's just terrible inconvenience for the young parents, who have jobs and a baby and can't accommodate an older person's needs. We don't know how needy you are or not when you are there - going to the airport to get you, or do you rent a car? A bathroom of your own, or do they only have one? Food requests, errand requests, any 'needs' while you are there? Complaining about anything, or arguing about child rearing? We hear from many young parents on this site too, and can't really judge without hearing both sides. I'm not accusing, just asking.

Thirdtime · Jan 11, 2013, 05:51 PM

''How do I deal with such mean inconsideration coming from my son in law?''

My answer here in true honesty is you have to ''deal with yourself first!'' I mean you have to calm down and look after your health side of life that this does not apply too much pressure on you.
Did they invite you or you made an effort without their knowledge? Were there proper communications done before you went over?

If they made all the arrangements and changed it when you arrived there then I do agree with you on this but if you made a surprise turnup then you may have to just calm it down.

I really believed that there could be an ample reason their decision otherwise your daughter would have intervened.