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    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #21

    Jan 14, 2013, 03:44 AM
    SilverLining, please type 'toddler won't eat' into Google, and start reading many, many sites on this very common topic. It doesn't matter what country and culture and food types. And please don't forget, it doesn't happen in one day! Your patience is required.
    Silver Lining's Avatar
    Silver Lining Posts: 374, Reputation: 36
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    #22

    Jan 15, 2013, 02:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    If you are using the threat of a doctor and/or a nurse giving her an injection just so she will eat, you are emotionally abusing her ans she should be removed from your care.

    That is terrible! Now you are not only creating a child with a possible eating disorder, you are also causing an unnecessary fear of doctors and nurses. You should really be ashamed of yourself.
    Don't tell me I should feel ashamed... I know my daughter, she is not afraid of a doctor, but she is scared of an injection.
    What disorder are you talking about? I try not to starve her. I know she feels hungry because she asks for junk... refuses healthy food. I am not a crazy mother. I am a concerned mom. I make sure she doesn't cry with fear. I don't scare her or bribe her... if she does develop a disorder, it'l be of eating anything unhealthy if I contunue to let her eat what she wants...

    Tell me, how many kids (2-4 years of age) u know of who ENJOY raw vegetables? My daughter does. I struggled for almost 2 months to make her like them. I have my tactics,, Believe it or not, my daughter likes all raw vegetables... u name them, she eats them raw.

    My only problem is, she doesn't eat full meals like rice, roti etc... she has 1 carrot, or beans or broccoli etc for the whole day,, that's it. Rest of the time she demands junk and if I don give it to her, she starves after throwing a tantrum. The doctor tells me, though the food is healthy, she needs to eat more since she is under-weight. He is not suggesting any meds, just that she needs to make a good eating habit...

    After scaring her with injection for a week, she ate without making any fuss today... I came online to share this with u, though I have a fever of 102. Now I feel my temp raising on how you react,, instead of giving ideas, you judge me without knowing my way of life, without knowing how my daughter is,,
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #23

    Jan 15, 2013, 07:12 AM
    Of course she is afraid of an injection and you are only making that fear worse! This is pure emotional abuse. Plain and simple.

    Now, stop buying junk food. Don't have it in the house. If it's not there she can't have it.

    Feeding times for a child this age shouldn't be such a battle. You should never threaten a child with regards to eating. You are only creating a bigger problem for her future.

    Have you ever heard of anorexia nervosa? Anorexia Symptoms, Causes, Treatment - What causes anorexia nervosa? on MedicineNet

    Feeding problems as an infant, a general history of under-eating, and maternal depressive symptoms tend to be risk factors for developing anorexia. Other personal characteristics that can predispose an individual to the development of anorexia include a high level of negative feelings and perfectionism. For many individuals with anorexia, the destructive cycle begins with the pressure to be thin and attractive. A poor self-image compounds the problem. People who suffer from any eating disorder are more likely to have been the victim of childhood abuse.
    You are effectively setting her up for this disorder as eating has become a battle between the two of you. She wants to be in control of something and her current eating disorder is something that the two of you are battling over.

    some professionals remain of the opinion that family discord and high demands from parents can put a person at risk for developing this disorder,
    It's very important that you AND your child seek counseling. You for your depression and her for her eating problems, then the two of you together to figure out how to communicate with each other in a healthy manner.

    Again, threatening a child with injections is a form of mental abuse!
    Silver Lining's Avatar
    Silver Lining Posts: 374, Reputation: 36
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    #24

    Jan 16, 2013, 04:37 AM
    Anything and everything one does is considered to be an abuse from where you are I guess, because here, it is not,, Also, you have a disorder for everything. Over eating is a disorder, eating less is a disorder, so is fear of something. She is 3. today she is scared of something, tomorrow it's over. She forgets. It's better she fears the needle than try and poke herself or someone else... even though I make sure she doesn't get her hands on anything that is harmful, there are places she goes to, like the neighbors, school etc where she can find knife, scissors, needles etc. I'd prefer my daughter to be careful with fear than hurt herself.
    As far as the phobia is concerned, even I was brought up similarly. I have no phobia. I eat everything, so does my husband. If a time comes when we have to eat non-veg, we have no issues, we both have no disorder, no phobia and thanks to God, no disease. During our time as kids, our parents used to hit us badly if we refused to eat. I make sure my daughter doesn't get the same treatment as I did. It's a lot easier to feed a child with a couple of slaps,, but that my dear, is ABUSE.

    Mental abuse is when I hold a needle or something scary and scare the child, so much that the child cries just by looking at that object,, reminding of the pain that the child once got is not abuse (eg: injection given for her better health). If I hurt my child and remind her of that, it's abuse,, but if she falls down while playing and if I remind her about it, it's being careful and NOT abuse...
    Now, to make my point very very clear,, I DO NOT HAVE ANY INJECTIONS AT HOME to threaten her with. The only way I scare her is by saying that if she doesn't eat, she'l fall sick and if she falls sick, we'l have to give her meds in the form of injection... think twice before you get into some world of imagination,,

    Also, I am in no form of depression. I got it checked to make sure. I am a little more concerned than I should be. I just need to find different ways of feeding her than feel frustrated. Thinking positively towards such matters is not considered to be depression. I have been through the depression phase long back and this is not it,, think before you make such statements. Unlike me, some people believe everything posted here,, such people might really get into depression,,
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #25

    Jan 16, 2013, 04:53 AM
    OK, back to the positive ways..
    Have you googled 'toddler won't eat' yet? It could take days to copy many of the ideas here.
    Silver Lining's Avatar
    Silver Lining Posts: 374, Reputation: 36
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    #26

    Jan 21, 2013, 12:00 AM
    Hey Joypvul,,

    I read a few,, She is down with cold,, hence wondering if I have to start now or wait for her to get better... usually kids refuse food or vomit with severe cold. Hence m unsure... What say??

    One way to make her drink milk is that she loves our evening play time,, I refuse to take her out unless she drinks milk,, she is getting adjusted to that,,
    I refused to give her anything last night unless she finishes her dinner. She slept without dinner and it just hurt so bad,, but it kind of helped,, She was up very early in the morning and had some fruits and ate a toast before going to school, without fuss. Usually she kills me with her tantrum when I try to give her breakfast.

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