[Username25]

Me and my boyfriend are both in our mid-twenties, we have been together for around a year and a half and have a 5 month old daughter. My problem is that we do not have sex enough, about once a week. I know we are both very very tired, having a baby is a lot of work. He has a full time job and also a part time job and spends a lot of his time off helping around the house and with the baby. We get along great and plan on getting married eventually...

It's not only the fact that we have sex once a week, it's that when we do have sex its boring. Usually I can not get off because I need to be "warmed up" and if things were more exciting I'd have more interest. I'm not going to blame it all on him because I know its partially my fault too. It's like a vicious cycle, two wrongs don't make a right. I can't get into it cause he's not into it. We never make out, which I love to do, but he will just give me a peck and that's it.

The thing of initiating sex is one of the hardest things, he thinks that if he has a hard-on that should tell me that he is in the mood... but when he's just laying there I don't jump on him because I want to wait and see if he will initiate... then it turns on "so you want to have sex?"... "okay"...

I guess I'm just looking for some advice... how to spice things up... how to get him to be more into it and make it exciting... how to have a talk with him? Most of the time when I try to have a talk I can't get the right words out and I don't make it sound as serious as I feel it is... Usually after a talk the sex will be better that time and then after that its back to the same old. I also think we need to take time out to ourselves, I always suggest we do, but it never happens... Thanks in advance.

[smoothy]

From time to time you could get a baby sitter... so that takes at least one stressor out of the equation.

Working two jobs is exhausting and it does kill the male libido... toss in a kids nearby... if he see you projecting hostility his way over it as well... all conspire to making him not want it as much or kill any romantic mood he might have.

Sure he's going to have to put a little more effort into it too... but that's going to take presenting it in the right manner, try by playfully asking him exactly for what you want...

What's more important is not what you ask... but HOW you ask it. You have to use your judgement knowing him what gets him going and what turns him off.

[talaniman]

It probably would help if you both had other things to do besides work. I mean reconnect the romance by having more fun both together and apart and working your way out of this rut which sound temporary.

LOL, the biggest thing I see is not talking each others language so your minds can reconnect.

He has a full time job and also a part time job and spends a lot of his time off helping around the house and with the baby. We get along great

Another thing to just think about is he works darn hard, and you should be a lot more patient when you have the urge to mate. Your cycle is not in sync with his yet. It will be.

It's not only the fact that we have sex once a week, it's that when we do have sex its boring. Usually I can not get off because I need to be "warmed up" and if things were more exciting I'd have more interest.

Then warm yourself up and get off before he does. Tell him you want to get off before he does. Its dishonest in many ways for the fact you don't get off to be unknown by your partner. Its no ones fault, but fallout of a new couples ordeal through a pregnancy. Do the math, your life has been more about a baby for more than half the relationship, and now there are many adjustments to make.

Friends or family close to you?

[mark25624]

It sounds more like "ME! ME! ME!"
And not "WE! WE! WE!"

It does takes 2 to tango!!
Look @ what turned out!!

This is a "Help me!" "Help you!"
Situation.
He needs to know what want and what turns you on!
Likes, loves, passions!!
And the same with him.

When it comes to the bedroom!
It's whatever!! Whatever!!
No restrictions @ all!!
Just let it go!!
Let it flow!!

Take the quanity time!!
And turn it into quality time!!
Ask yours or his folks to babysit while the 2 of you just have a night out together.
Knowing the baby is in good hands!
And the 2 of you are enjoying each others company.
Relaxing do what ever it is that the both of you like/love!!
And doing it a bit more offten!

You may have just forgotten what ;ove was lke when the 2 of youwere dating.

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to be talking to him, and not when you are in bed, talk open and honestly about needing foreplay and your needs also.

But also, if he is working two jobs and there is a baby, once a week is not really that bad, he is most likely tired and can't understand why you don't see all his work as his love for you.

So you need to perhaps realize that it is not going to be 4 times a week, and often not even two times but work on making the once better. Often sex has to be planned, a day and time set and schedule it. Sorry if that is not romantic but a working family both sides don't often have the same mood at the same time.