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callen825 · Mar 16, 2007, 05:50 AM

My stepadaughter is getting married in September of 2007. She wants her real dad and myself to give her away. I do not feel this is appropriate, and quite frankly, I don't want to do it. I am not her real father, and he will be in attendance. Is it OK to have 2 people give the bride away in this situation?
Thank you

cissy17 · Mar 16, 2007, 08:06 AM

Wow... that is a doozie. Obviously she loves you emensly to want to have you up there with her biological father, but I wonder if she's considered how uncomfortable this is making you (and probably her bio-dad, too)... I know when I was in my planning 'mindset' for my wedding, I sometimes lost focus of what others wanted - because it was "MY" day. :)

I've seen/heard of two people give away a bride before - but it's been the mother or the bride's brother.

What's Mom's take on this? Do you think that if you both suggest it, the bride may be okay with Mom stepping up to the plate? If not, then as much as it's going not be fun, you're just going to have explain your position - you're certain NOT snubbing or abandoning her, you just feel it's not your place with bio-dad to give her away.

Believe me, I got told 'No' while planning my wedding on big important things to me, too. Address it directly and it'll pass. Good Luck!

ballengerb1 · Mar 16, 2007, 08:08 AM

If this is what the bride wants then it is fine. I am sure everyone in attendance will understand the situation completely. Do not miss out on this event and you should be very happy she sees you as equal to her real dad. You must have done a fine job.

whiteladybug2002 · Mar 16, 2007, 08:19 AM

The bride can do whatever she wants... It is HER day!

I think you should feel honored she wants you to! You must mean a lot to her! Good Job!

Fr_Chuck · Mar 16, 2007, 08:21 AM

Ok, that means she really likes you, it is a honor gettting the level of respect as her bio father.

This is her day, just do it and love her for the love she has to you.

I think this is just great she would want you also.

go-ask-mom · Mar 16, 2007, 03:10 PM

I was at a friends wedding where the biological father and the "daddy" father who raised her BOTH walked her down the isle. One on each side! The trick is finding two people who will NOT be upset at this arrangement... but its HER wedding and should be what will make HER HAPPY on this day in her life! DO IT! :)

shygrneyzs · Mar 16, 2007, 05:10 PM

Do this for your step daughter! What an honor. What a way to bless her marriage, to have you by her side. If anyone says anything negative, too bad for them. They cannot see past their own nose, as the saying goes.

tinsign · Mar 16, 2007, 05:18 PM

OH don't take that specialness and closeness she feels toward you and take it away from her. Feel honored and happy she thinks so highly of you,. Would it be that hard to show your love in honoring her request?
Think before you say no to her, are you willing to just toss that bond away over that one night, the day that will be forever remembered and turn it into something that would perhaps just crush her?