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amanda_sockett · Dec 28, 2012, 06:27 PM

My mom recently died unexpectedly and we found out that she had breast cancer that she was hiding. She had been wrapping her breasts with gauze because her tumors had erupted through the skin. There was no autopsy but the funeral director said she died from advanced breast cancer. I spoke to her the day she died and she sounded fine. People who had seen her in the weeks leading up to her death said that she smelled (she has always been a very clean woman) and when we cleaned her house we found the gauze that she had been using to cover her wounds. Her house smelled and the furniture that she was sitting on frequently smelled like nothing I have ever smelled before. I talked to her everyday and had no idea she was sick, I thought she was depressed. We found no pain killers in her house besides regular strength Tylenol. The day she died, she actually cooked a meal for her neighbors and it was still sitting on the stove. She lived alone. When we entered the house, we found a glass of orange juice sitting out with the orange juice bottle in the kitchen. Back the hall to the bathroom, there was a cake frosting container that had been ripped open and she stuck her hand in. Her body was found on the bathroom floor and the coroner said he thinks she died on the toilet. I really want to know what she actually died from? Did her organs just shut down? Could the exposed breast tissue have been infected? Any help or information you could give me would be appreciated. She was my best friend and I am lost as to why she wouldn't tell me she was sick. She had neuropathy, would that have made her pain less severe? I really need some answers to help me through.

countrygalsrt · Dec 28, 2012, 08:25 PM

So sorry about your loss! I hope things get better!

Wondergirl · Dec 28, 2012, 08:30 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! As a breast cancer survivor, I'm totally flummoxed that she would hide this, since there are such good and effective treatments for it nowadays. Had she been depressed before this, had had a history of depression?

J_9 · Dec 28, 2012, 08:57 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I am a breast cancer survivor as well. I also wonder if there was a history of depression.

Wondergirl · Dec 28, 2012, 09:07 PM

It sounds like she allowed the situation to get out of hand, and it became en cuirasse carcinoma. If she was depressed already, she may have felt hopeless and helpless, perhaps ignored any signs with the hope things would improve and the tumor(s) would go away if she didn't think about it. Depression handicaps a person and prevents movement and action.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 28, 2012, 09:16 PM

There is no need to find any exact reasons, it was obviously from the cancer or cancer caused illness as infection spread.

Please deal with the grief and the loss, perhaps get counseling.

amanda_sockett · Dec 29, 2012, 07:39 AM

Yes, there was a history of depression with her and I know she was upset about her finances for years. She was on disability because of her neuropathy. She was a breast cancer survivor (2001) and always said that if her cancer came back, she wouldn't treat it. She was only 63. I'm left with a million questions -- did she not fight the cancer because she didn't want to live or because she felt she couldn't afford the treatment? I talked to her every single day - why didn't she tell me?? She loved her grandkids so much and they adored her, she had 4 kids as well who loved her --- why weren't we enough?? I would've done ANYTHING to help her. It just hurts to be left with all these questions and no answers...

countrygalsrt · Dec 29, 2012, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by amanda_sockett

Yes, there was a history of depression with her and I know she was upset about her finances for years. She was on disability because of her neuropathy. She was a breast cancer survivor (2001) and always said that if her cancer came back, she wouldn't treat it. She was only 63. I'm left with a million questions -- did she not fight the cancer because she didn't want to live or because she felt she couldn't afford the treatment?? I talked to her every single day - why didn't she tell me??? She loved her grandkids so much and they adored her, she had 4 kids as well who loved her --- why weren't we enough???? I would've done ANYTHING to help her. It just hurts to be left with all these questions and no answers.....

You guys were ENOUGH! I am praying for you and your family sweety! Hope things becomes easier for you!