[Alty]

Just want to take this time to wish everyone on AMHD a very Merry Christmas.

I hope Santa treats you well.

And just for fun, here's a politically correct Christmas poem. Enjoy. :)

T'was the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets... they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football... someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere... even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

[J_9]

Merry Christmas to you and the family Alty!

[Alty]

Thanks J. I hope Santa gets his big butt down the chimney tonight. ;)

Wait... we have a gas fireplace, how does that work? :)

[Curlyben]

[Alty]

Awww Ben, do we need to shove some Christmas spirit up your... um... chimney? :)

[J_9]

Your heart is 10 sizes too small. Where is Cindy Lou Who when you need her?

[fredg]

Merry Christmas to you, and hope you have a very good New Year.

[mogrann]

Merry Christmas to all and happy new year. Owen sends out puppy kisses too

[Cat1864]

Merry Christmas, Alty and the AMHD Family including our grumpy Uncle Ben (guess he needs more Christmas Spirits.)

Wait, wrapping paper cuts, burns from baking, nerves frazzled from 'holiday' shoppers... I may change and side with Ben.

[Fr_Chuck]

Merry Christmas

[cdad]

Merry christmas to all and to all blessings surrounding the holidays.