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Annie_17 · Dec 7, 2012, 04:14 AM

This may sound silly, but I am almost freaking out of embarrassment after an accident. I went to an after work at a bar with some colleagues to have a few beers and chat. When waiting in the line for the loo someone told a joke that made me laugh so much that I ended up peeing myself! And it was not just some dribbling that can occur when you laugh, I literrarily emptied my bladder in front of my colleagues who also were waiting. I was so horrified I just wanted to die of embarrassment. My sister, who happenede to be there as well, said that she can understand that accidents happen but she told me I was such a wimp bursting out in hysteric crying. And this probably added to the embarrassment. I am so frurstrated, anxious and embarrassed that I can't stand it. It may sound silly but this is true. I know I am not alone and that this have happened to others as well but it doesn't help. So can someone tell me how long does it take to overcome such an embarrassing thing? And was I really a wimp as my sister says?

tickle · Dec 7, 2012, 05:31 AM

Women who have had children have a problem with dropped bladders, therefore, leaking occurs when sneezing, laughing, running, jumping. What happened to you I can totally understand. Myself being an active person didn't like the occasional leaking so had a bladder elevation many years ago and it never occurred again.

It will be a constant worry, that is just how it is. That is why they have so many different kinds of incontinence products for women nowadays.

It won't go away, so just wear a pad or a pull up next time you go out.

Annie_17 · Dec 7, 2012, 07:04 AM

Yes, but I haven't had children yet. And I am only 23. I know these things can happen but how can I overcame the embarrassment? And what do you think about what my sister told me? It is so difficult to think of that all these people saw me in this situation.

tickle · Dec 7, 2012, 07:15 AM

Can imagine how you feel, Annie; you probably felt like crawling into the woodwork. No easy way to overcome this. Hysterical crying, yes, your sister was right on that point. Harder for sensitive people to overcome this but you will just have forget about it, its over and done, and yes, it happens to others and will go on happening to others. We would all treat it differently. I can't say how I would because you just can't say oh well look at that puddle down there!

You are just going to have to crank it up to ultimate embarrassing circumstances and move on from it and do damage control next like wearing incontinence pads because the bottom line is you have a weak bladder and should see a doctor about having it corrected.

I can be an expert in a lot of things, Annie, but how you handle this is up to you and how you choose to move on from it. If you are with those people again, and you surely will be, hold your head up high, and if someone mentions it, no more hysterical crying, but just say, well accidents happen and treat it as lightly as you can.

Annie_17 · Dec 7, 2012, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by tickle

Can imagine how you feel, Annie; you probably felt like crawling into the woodwork. No easy way to overcome this. Hysterical crying, yes, your sister was right on that point. Harder for sensitive people to overcome this but you will just have forget about it, its over and done, and yes, it happens to others and will go on happening to others. We would all treat it differently. I can't say how I would because you just can't say oh well look at that puddle down there!

You are just going to have to crank it up to ultimate embarrassing circumstances and move on from it and do damage control next like wearing incontinence pads because the bottom line is you have a weak bladder and should see a doctor about having it corrected.

I can be an expert in a lot of things, Annie, but how you handle this is up to you and how you choose to move on from it. If you are with those people again, and you surely will be, hold your head up high, and if someone mentions it, no more hysterical crying, but just say, well accidents happen and treat it as lightly as you can.

Is it really overreacting if you start to cry when having an accident like that in public?
I will do my best to hold my head up but as it feels now it will take ages.

tickle · Dec 7, 2012, 09:12 AM

Over-reacting only brings more attention to the incident. No, hopefully, you will be over it soon. Most people don't point and stare, as you are probably thinking, most people wouldn't give it a second thought. I know, I would not give it a second thought, or as you are thinking, wow, that is the lady who peed her pants in public. Just get over it and go on with your normal existence.

Wondergirl · Dec 7, 2012, 09:29 AM

My thought would be, "There but for the grace of God go I" and be grateful it was you and not me.

odinn7 · Dec 7, 2012, 09:32 AM

You probably care about it more than most people. You were at a bar, I'm sure some people just assumed you were drunk. Stuff happens, you just forget about it and move on.

Annie_17 · Dec 7, 2012, 10:56 AM

I know you probably are right but it's easy to say this is nothing if you haven't experienced this yourself. Would be interested to know how anyone experienced this handled it and how easy it was to get over it.

odinn7 · Dec 7, 2012, 10:58 AM

I've been through plenty of embarrassing things in my life that I don't care to get into here but trust me, plenty. You get over it by not dwelling on it and just forgetting about it. If someone brings it up (which they probably will not), just kind of laugh it off and move on.

Wondergirl · Dec 7, 2012, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by Annie_17

I know you probably are right but it's easy to say this is nothing if you haven't experienced this yourself. Would be interested to know how anyone experienced this handled it and how easy it was to get over it.

Okay. I will confess. It happened to me at a Denver museum while my husband, two small sons, and I were on vacation back around 1985. It was a huge place and I had to pee but ignored the feeling. Suddenly I couldn't ignore it any longer, asked where the public bathroom was, and was taken to a mile-line line outside a one toilet closet-sized room. I asked those at the head if I could move up in front of them and why, so they allowed it, but it was too late. A janitor was called to mop up, I told my husband and kids we were leaving, and we went back to our motel so I could put on clean, dry clothes.

Have I gotten over it? Yes, but I remember it like it happened yesterday. What I learned: Always pee before I leave home and always ask where the bathroom is if I know I will be there for a while, and don't wait until the last minute if I have to go.

tickle · Dec 7, 2012, 02:06 PM

It has happened, actually, to a lot of us, Anne, maybe not to the extent that it did you, but as I said, after childbirth, bladders drop and for someone who jogs and runs, and works out, it isn't pleasant having a wet crotch all the time. Or sitting down and leaving a wet mark. I have a client, not quite 65 who can't control her bladder at all and is so afraid to get up from the supper table because the cushion under her is soaked. So you see, you aren't the only one. It could have with me, once or twice, to the extent it was with you. I lived through it, but unlike WG I can't remember the year it was, that is how it is so not in my mind anymore.

So, just get over it, okay.

Annie_17 · Dec 8, 2012, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Okay. I will confess. It happened to me at a Denver museum while my husband, two small sons, and I were on vacation back around 1985. It was a huge place and I had to pee but ignored the feeling. Suddenly I couldn't ignore it any longer, asked where the public bathroom was, and was taken to a mile-line line outside a one toilet closet-sized room. I asked those at the head if I could move up in front of them and why, so they allowed it, but it was too late. A janitor was called to mop up, I told my husband and kids we were leaving, and we went back to our motel so I could put on clean, dry clothes.

Have I gotten over it? Yes, but I remember it like it happened yesterday. What I learned: Always pee before I leave home and always ask where the bathroom is if I know I will be there for a while, and don't wait until the last minute if I have to go.

Thanks for telling. I am sure it would feel less bad if people were more open about when such things happen. But I guess it's difficult to expect that. This was long ago so I have no problem understanding you have gotten over it. But I would like to ask how long did it take? How did you feel when it happened? I know I will get over it sooner or later but it will take some time. The fact that it happened in front of my friends at work makes it so much more embarrassing.

Annie_17 · Dec 8, 2012, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by tickle

It has happened, actually, to a lot of us, Anne, maybe not to the extent that it did you, but as I said, after childbirth, bladders drop and for someone who jogs and runs, and works out, it isnt pleasant having a wet crotch all the time. Or sitting down and leaving a wet mark. I have a client, not quite 65 who can't control her bladder at all and is so afraid to get up from the supper table because the cushion under her is soaked. So you see, you arent the only one. It could have with me, once or twice, to the extent it was with you. I lived through it, but unlike WG i can't remember the year it was, that is how it is so not in my mind anymore.

So, just get over it, okay.

I am trying to get over it and I know it happens to others. But as you say, to the extent it happened to me was different. It was not just some dribbling. It was everything. And it happened in front of my friends at work. Especially the latter made it so much worse. If I hadn't known anyone there I would feel less awkward about it. And also, I don't think it happens to women in my age that much. Imagine this happening to you in front of your colleagues, can you really say you would have no problem getting over it?

Wondergirl · Dec 8, 2012, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by Annie_17

The fact that it happened in front of my friends at work makes it so much more embarrassing.

Your friends know you were with them at a bar, were drunk, and it could have happened to any of them just as easily. Just go on with your life, don't bring it up (and neither will they, since they have no problem with what happened, are totally understanding), and be the wonderful coworker you have always been.

tickle · Dec 8, 2012, 01:57 PM

You know, Annie, throughout my life, I am now 70, some very significant embarrassing moments have happened to me in public. We are two different people. My upbringing helped me through some, I was taught never draw attention to a complete personal embarrassing moment. Yes, I can safely say I did not have a problem getting over any one of them.

Now do you get it? No, I never cried hysterically at any one of them and a couple were far worse then yours. Try this one on for size, starting to mensturate on a street car and getting up leaving a pool of blood, and walking home the rest of the with the back of my dress soaked. Does that top yours, or is that equal to yours, and at the time I was your age coming home from work at the busiest time on Toronto streets? And to top that off, it was in the late 50s, when that just did not happen.

Now can you shut up about your problem and getting over it ?

Annie_17 · Dec 8, 2012, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

You know, Annie, throughout my life, I am now 70, some very significant embarrassing moments have happened to me in public. We are two different people. My upbringing helped me through some, I was taught never draw attention to a complete personal embarrassing moment. Yes, i can safely say i did not have a problem getting over any one of them.

Now do you get it? No, I never cried hysterically at any one of them and a couple were far worse then yours. Try this one on for size, starting to mensturate on a street car and getting up leaving a pool of blood, and walking home the rest of the with the back of my dress soaked. Does that top yours, or is that equal to yours, and at the time i was your age coming home from work at the busiest time on Toronto streets? And to top that off, it was in the late 50s, when that just did not happen.

Now can you shut up about your problem and getting over it ?

Well, I can certainly shut up, but that won't help me get over it. I think it's quite rude to ask me shut up even if you may think I'm childish (OK, maybe I am and maybe I am pverly sensitive but this is me!). I agree what you experienced also was extremely embarrassingm but I am also very sure that I will also have gotten over my experience when I turn 70. However, I am far from there yet!

tickle · Dec 8, 2012, 04:16 PM

Yes you are far from that at 20 Annie, and by the way my name is Annie too, and I think this thread should be closed, just about now !

J_9 · Dec 8, 2012, 04:18 PM

Oh goodness! I did this as well just a few short years ago. I was actually at work when it happened. We were talking about some patients we had in the past and I was laughing so hard I peer myself! Good thing I work in a hospital as we have replacement scrubs available.

The "situation" just made us laugh even harder and we still joke about it to this day. I can't imagine crying hysterically. That would have been more embarrassing to me.

tickle · Dec 8, 2012, 04:22 PM

I think our OP has other issues other then this experience. Probably needs professional help dealing with experiences that make her a basket case in public and unable to cope with the aftershock. Normal individuals could probably move on, get used to the idea that this happened. I am at loss to know why this thread has continued on so long and OP doesn't seem to have any closure.

So I laid myself bare and told her of the most embarrassing moment in my life, and she still comes back with wanting answers to her situation. I mean, how much do we have to say in this thread.