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Demma · Mar 14, 2007, 02:29 PM

Hey,
What should you do when you think you are falling for your best friend? I have known this friend 2 years ago when we first started uni. We click very well, and used to chat on the phone for hours long. Rumours started going on about us. BUT there was nothing going on between both of us. Just CLOSE FRIEND. I am irritated when people tease us because I never thought that we could become more then just friends.Later, he slowly started liking this other girl and everyone would tease him about it and encouraging him to take a move. The funny thing now is that, some one tease him , I would feel uneasy( well you can put in a way that I think I am jealous) But I try not to show out. Do u think it is because I am starting to fall for my best friend? Or is it just a momentary feeling that will go away because I am just so used to having him as a close friend that I am afraid we will not be as close as ever..? Please tell me..? Is there anyone out there who is in my dilemma.. >??

Stunning07 · Mar 14, 2007, 04:34 PM

This is the best type of realationship... I thinnk! If you guys even titled yourself as girlfriend & boyfriend. You guys will still feel like friends I myself well were struggling now but also am going out w/ my best friend of two years... we've been dating for two years total of four year friend ship... for some reason it has its bad sides... like I never treid being romantic.. because I never had to she was my best friend... and I also made some mistakes.. basically in times of being a boyfriend I would be her friend... and forgot that I am her boyfriend.. these are the things I've relised and Im trying to get my best friend back.. for the mistakes I made.. hope it dose't happen to you guys good luck.

Stunning07 · Mar 14, 2007, 04:36 PM

And yes you are falling for him no matter what you say... I don't think you can turn back your feelings also... when your feelings start getting stronger... just give him some clues... but not as much.. beacause than he or she will know that you like him.. and you should play hard to get... no matter what in this situation.. (I'm only talking from my expireance)

Demma · Mar 15, 2007, 12:59 PM

We were and still are very good friends. Yet is there such thing as a platonic relationship, where girls and guys just remain as close buddies. I knew him a year ago,We click really well, know each other almost inside out.. the way you know your best friend inside out. I share with him my problems and thoughts all the time.People alwiz think and wonder if we were a couple... and our answer is alwiz no... Just friends which was true. I used to get annoyed when others say that we're together, as I can never see ourselves dating.. No way..! So I thought... Lately, he has feeling for this other girl... n he is trying to know her better and is going after her... Yet, he seems really shy around her. Funny thing is that every time I see them together, I have this weird uneasy feeling.. I do not know if it is jealousy or what..? OR could it just be tat I am so used to having a close fren around that suddenly the sense of insecurity that we might not be as close as ever starts bugging me. Is it that I am afraid of losing a friend or is it really that I am falling for my good friend.. ( oh by the way, people say that he is really not himself, not natural around that girl... me and him.. the bond is there.. compare to he and the other girl.. ).. so you guys out there.. have you ever been in my shoes before.. Do tell me.. what my feelings are as I am not capable of analyzing my feelings rationally... thanks

talaniman · Mar 15, 2007, 01:05 PM

How old are?

Wildcat21 · Mar 15, 2007, 01:08 PM

That's what I want to know.

She seems pretty confused - over analyzing the situation.

Both maybe too scared to move forward.

Uneasy feeling... love.

manimuth · Mar 15, 2007, 01:34 PM

I hear the jealousy but I'm not completely sure if its over losing a best friend or from romantic feelings.
Women, who has a best friend who is a man, love the special attention it gets them... and the jealous looks from other women.

Demma · Mar 15, 2007, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

That's what I want to know.

She seems pretty confused - over analyzing the situation.

Both maybe too scared to move forward.

Uneasy feeling....love.

Too scared to move forward. What should I do? I for one haven't figure out this mix feelings of mine. No.2 , I dun think he has any feeling other then just mere friendship. No.3 , I do not want to make the move... no way man.. n I do not want to lose a friend becoz of a stupid act of impluse... I just want to uneasy feeling to GO AWAY... I really do not want to be hurt emotionally.. as life's good now...

talaniman · Mar 15, 2007, 06:52 PM

Join the party Demma, none of us wants to hurt at all, but life isn't so co-operative sometimes, so all we poor humans can only can do is learn how to handle those feelings. You are so right not to just act on impulse, better to wait and see how you really feel. For now you can only keep it to yourself until you know exactly what that uneasy feeling is about. I suspect a little jealousy with a hint of fear of losing a friend, and more than a little fear of rejection... and a lot of love.

TrueFaith · Mar 15, 2007, 09:16 PM

Well when you feel uneasy. I do think it could be something more than friendship.. I mean I've had a girl that I was friends with.. she went off with another guy and I was like err.. OK what's this.. is odd.. later on we went out for 3 years.. it was awesome!! I think most of us take things for granted.. and once its gone we are like huh.. I miss that!. I think you porbable do like him more than a friend.. because if you didn't then well lets face it 1. you wouldn't think about him that much. And 2.. Well you wouldn't post it on here.. we have tons of friends on this earth the real special ones! Are the one we like a bit more than friends and know that there's something behind the friendship!.

Only real sad thing is.. if anything does happen.. even if you guys kiss once! Just once! It all changes!. you may changed or so may he.. but whatever the case it will never ever be the same again.. so I can understand why your worried.. my advice is to see where this is going. If you still feel like this in a few months.. I think you should talk to him about it.. if he is a good friend as you say he is.. he will understand and who knows might feel the same way.. it does sound like there is something more than friendship here..

EnglishRose · Mar 16, 2007, 09:26 AM

I don't really see what your age has to do with anything here. I was once in exactly the same situation. My best friend is a guy and we are so close it is scary. Before I met my current partner I was single for a while so I started sending a lot more time with him and my other friends. We don't really have friends in common so we tend to just do things together. We go to the pictures and go for meals, kind of like dates but totally different. One day I thought about all the horrible guys I had been out with in past and how badly they had treated me. Then I looked at my best friend who has always been there for me, never stood me up and we always have a great time together. Then he met someone and I was devastated. She messed him around and I wanted to kill her (not literally obviously). He asked what was going on so I told him and we decided to give it ago as a couple but then it didn't feel right. We decided that it had been better when we were just friends and I realised the reason I got jealous was because he was like a brother to me and I was worried he wouldn't need me any more and he said that was how he felt too. Our friendship is as good if not better than ever and we have both promised we will never let anyone come between us again. If your friendship is good enough then it will last thorough this but I do think you should talk to him, but don't tell him that you want to be with him until you are certain and you do have to be prepared for him to tell you he doesn't feel the same. Good luck x

Demma · Mar 18, 2007, 02:46 PM

I kind of agree with English Rose, how does my age has to do with anything here..? If I am 15, 20 or 25.. what difference would it make.. Anyway, I just turn into my 20s. I really do not think I am falling for him.. because.. I just can't see us together at all.. He gives good emotional security, like me being able to talk to him.. but other then that.. I just dun feel that there is anything more then that. It is only the uneasy feeling that is bothering me. And if I do talk it out with him, it will surely be freaking akward.. n I do not wan to lose a good friend, as I really do appreciate this friendship...

talaniman · Mar 19, 2007, 05:38 AM

Then say nothing and be his friend. I was curious as to your age to gauge how mature you might be, just so you'll know. Its sounds like you have a good handle on your feelings and are probably dealing with the changes him having a girlfriend brings. I think your concerned for his happiness, which is good.

Demma · Mar 19, 2007, 11:37 AM

Haha.. talaniman...
So.. did you underestimate or overestimate my age... am I younger or older than I sounded.. I am just curious about tat.. as for my feelings.. it is still in the mist.. I am not sure.. so.. shall just pray over it.. n hopefully I will get my answer soon enough.. before I get myslef into a bigger emotional mess.. hehe..

talaniman · Mar 19, 2007, 01:45 PM

I made no judgement on way or another, but the fact that you are acting mature about this situaton bodes well to your maturity.

Demma · Mar 20, 2007, 05:51 PM

Yet I am still quite disturbed by the quezy feeling I get lately... hmm.. I really dun know what to expect next.. few days ago.. a grp of frens we went drinking.. I was so scared tat I might get drunk and spill the beans out.. thankfully I didn't.. but on the other hand.. I wanted to be drunk.. n.. Be able.. uncousiously.. blurt out what I am feeling.. because. I think.. pl tell what they feel when they are drunk.. is tat true.. may.. I would know then what I really feel about him.. just friends or more than tat..?

talaniman · Mar 20, 2007, 07:23 PM

Not a good idea not even in jest. Give yourself some time.

Demma · May 26, 2007, 05:19 PM

In the previous posts I mention that.. I might have felt for my good friend.. Could anyone out there define for me what love is..? Does thinking of him everyday be considered... it is not tat I want to think about him... I just can't help it... how stupid is tat..! The only thing is we I've been really good friends all these while.. I do not want to lose a friend just becoz.. I thought I might have feelings for him.. n.. No I do not think he has a clue what so eva.. or tat.. he is interested.. . Please tell me what I should do..! I am driving myself crazy..!

xiaocake · May 26, 2007, 05:24 PM

There are many poems to praise love. Definitions of love could vary among different people.
But sometimes love could give one pains when it is ambiguous and not enough. If you feel you like a person, the essential element to ascertain whether it is love between both is to be sure whether this kind of love is mutual or not. If he treats you as what you want to be treated, and if he give you a feeling of being loved as what you give him, people will agree with me that you are falling in love.
Wish you happiness!

fix-what-you-broke · May 26, 2007, 07:59 PM

I don't think right now I am in the right frame of mind to be answering questions right now, but at the same time I need to take my mind off things so I will try my best.
What is love... thats a good question.
To me... love is being there for your partner and supporting them in their decisions, its about loyalty,honesty,its about being happy with who you are with and trying not to intentionally hurt them,its about being faithful and not giving in to temptation just because it's there, its about working through any problems you may have instead of just giving up and walking away, its about compremise,sacrifice,truth,trust,its about helping them through the tough times,its about not judging them when they have a problem, its about giving space when they need it and being there when they need you, its about letting them fall apart when life gets hard,then helping to pick up the pieces afterwards.its about forgivness when they have done something wrong,and its about respect.
That's my version... I just wish it worked out that way... if you can offer all that to your friend and he can give it to you then go for it... it takes effort to make it work.good luck.