[mark22]

I've been reading other answers about this and was hoping I could get some more help. My girlfriend and I have been dating for ten months. We love each other very much and we spend a lot of time together. Lately we've started getting into fights, and I know it's normal. The problem is that when we get into a fight she pushes her point of view and believes I never understand where she is coming from. She continues pushing until I start yelling at her and then she starts crying. After that I feel like s**t. It's only happened a couple times and she's told me it needs to stop, and I've been trying.

One night we got into another fight, again about something stupid, and I said something along the lines that it was stupid and she got upset. I was busy and had to study for a test I had on Monday. We were in the library and she walked off crying. I didn't go after her (why the hell is she even crying, I said the fight was stupid. I didn't call her a b***h or anything particularly nasty). She ended up driving off to a friends house (Who is a guy) and spent the night there. She spent the weekend with her friends who go to a college two hours away.

Now a month after this has happened she began crying. She was crying horribly for what seemed like forever and I had this feeling like I had a belly full of lead. She told me that half of her wants to take a break and half of her does not. Her problem is that she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. She recently took an interest in nursing but is unsure if she wants to do it. Her dream has always been to be in the FBI, and now that her plans are uncertain she is really upset about it. Additionally, she will be graduating next year (With a double major and a minor after only 3 years of college). I'm an Engineering major and will be here for at least 2 more years, but it looks like 3 or more at this point (for a total of 5 years).

Sorry for the essay. Its just really bothering me.

[mark22]

Sorry I had to cut it short, I had to go pick my girlfriend up.

Additional info:

I highly doubt that my girlfriend cheated on me, she hates cheaters with a passion and I doubt she would put me through that. She was also recently told by another guy friend that he had feelings for her and he would wait for her. I believe it was the same guy that she spent the night at his apartment with. Additionally, that guy shares an apartment with other guys who she is friends with. They all know I'm dating her and they'd frown on anything like that happening.

She proposed that we "just be friends". She told me that she still loves me and wants me to be around her. I then told her the consequences of just being friends. I told her we would not longer be able to have sex, kiss, or cuddle like we used too. Her response was "why not?". To me it sounds like she is afraid to move away at the end of next year. She doesn't want to be attached to me, and I somewhat understand, but how can you not be attached when you are basically doing everything couples do, just without the title of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" doesn't make any sense to me. She has been trying to pick up a third major or anything that would allow her to stay in college for the full four years, but even still I'm going to have to be here longer being an engineering major.

I know some people are going to say, that's too bad there are other fish in the sea, and "you're in college, have fun and go date some other girls". Well first off, I don't want to date anyone else. I really do love her. Another point is that being an engineering major, college is anything but fun. All I basically do is study my off in order to try and stay afloat. Going to parties and meeting women is nearly impossible.


So far I've told her that she needs to talk to a friend and figure out what she needs. I love her, but I don't want to force her to stay in a relationship if it makes her unhappy. I'm at a loss and any help would be appreciated.

[Homegirl 50]

Sounds like you both need a break. Tell her that. She wants it but does not know how to say she wants it. You do it, or you two are going to drive each other nuts.