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jojo6590 · Jan 14, 2013, 09:59 AM

The problem is that I don't want to talk to him in front of others, they will build up their own stories and I just want them to leave me alone, so it's either talking alone or waiting to be courageous enough one day!

Homegirl 50 · Jan 14, 2013, 10:05 AM

Send him an email or something, or make up your mind to talk to him. But this going back and forth just keeps it in the forefront of your mind. Pee or get off the pot. Say something or just put this behind you and forget it.

jojo6590 · Jan 14, 2013, 10:13 AM

I sent a message some weeks ago, saying that I was sorry and that it was because of someone very close to me who made it difficult for me but that it was over fortunately, I told him he has been nice to me and so on! He kept silent, I think the message hasn't arrived or that he has something against me that's what makes me feel guilty, I don't mind just staying friends after all!

talaniman · Jan 14, 2013, 10:27 AM

but for my own sake, just talking with him will maybe bring me peace, wouldn't it? It's also urgent because I'm seeing him more and more and it's just annoying for me every time I see him...

You are way to sensitive because of a chance meeting and playing on your own guilt and the attention of others and you have elevaed this to a sense of urgency to get closure for what?The way you have behaved?

You say you don't care what others say, but you do, you really do. Stopallthis willyou.Leave the guy alone and stop feeling the need to express yourself and relieve your own guilt. That's NOT his responsibility. Have you no close friend(S) to air your concerns with and have a shoulder to cry on?

Obviously you cannot handle your reality on your own, nor should you try, but that's what a friend is for.

You are seeing this guy more and more because you are more aware of him and made him the point of focus for your own flaws. That's not fair. He may have been a nice guy about it, but he wanted a booty call, free ex, no strings attached, just a use and be used session, and you rejected it. End of story, nothing else to see here. No explanations, no tripping, no texting. Let it go, and get a real friend to talk to.

No friends, no older trusted female, teacher, or school counsellor? That's how you handle a break up, not latching onto some stranger and hoping for a vent/feel good from him. Not being influenced by some annoying immature group of youngsters with nothing better to do. NOT being isolated and alone with your own thoughts feelings and fears.

Stop doing the wrongs things and making matters worse and get a friend to help you through this. Your path so far is NOT a good one. Do better.

jojo6590 · Jan 14, 2013, 11:08 AM

Usually I just deal with issues on my own but seriously here, I got lost... and yes the others are not as unimportant to me as I might tell myself! I just do as if I ignore them and that's what they think but deep inside, my head is bouncing and I tend to get isolated from the rest of the world! I have difficulties to focus, I might need some help from a specialist or so on

talaniman · Jan 14, 2013, 11:16 AM

Or a friend. Do you have close personal true blue friends? Just ONE?? NOT AN EX?!

Some one who knows you well? I want an honest answer. PLEASE.

jojo6590 · Jan 14, 2013, 11:34 AM

Honestly, no! No one knows me well enough, all they have is an outsider look, they may think this or that but the truth I am the only one to know it!

dontknownuthin · Jan 14, 2013, 11:38 AM

You realize that you are churning up as much drama as you can, and then weaving all these stories into it and creating this confusion to entertain yourself, right? I think you are getting something out of the drama or you wouldn't do it.

Just forget these guys - the relationships are dead, not going to go anywhere. Focus on yourself. When you next meet someone you want to date, resist the urge to make it a big dramatic play - just have some dinner, enjoy a meeting and talk about something other than yourself. Show an interest in the other person in the conversation. Solve your own problems, and enjoy your dates as a diversion from your struggles.

talaniman · Jan 14, 2013, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by jojo6590

Honestly, no! No one knows me well enough, all they have is an outsider look, they may think this or that but the truth I am the only one to know it!!

Maybe that's the change that must take place in your life. We all need someone to tells us we are okay, or ask are you crazy sometimes.

So, WHY no one in your life besides an ex, that knows you?

jojo6590 · Jan 14, 2013, 02:11 PM

I have friends, my best friend was the one with whom I shared stuff like that some months ago and he helped me a lot. But when he confessed he was falling in love with me, I tried to keep just friends and promised not to talk about my personal love matters with him... the other ones are just good friends... my ex and I we were close, we shared a lot of things about ourselves, he knows me quite well and knows how sensitive I am... I should confess that he was there for me as I was for him...

Homegirl 50 · Jan 14, 2013, 03:15 PM

I think you are tripping too much over this, almost obsessing. You sent him a message, he didn't reply, it is way past time to let this go.