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Lifeisbest · Nov 20, 2012, 09:45 PM

Hi There...

I had a friend for two years we become in relationship few months back after he confess to me that he have feelings for me.. things was going great so far and he was so excited about me and he told friends and his family about.. we are from different culture and background but this is not my issue...

I knew he had a crush in one of our friends who is getting married soon and he was over her for a while... she stop talking to him once she found that we are being together...

I notice that upset him and then whenever we go out in a group I catch him starring at her and she feel happy for that... when I saw this it hurts me a lot sometimes I feel I want to check his phone and see if he sending to her any notes but I stop myself...

She is always curious of what we are doing together and how is all started because a lot of people were surprised when they found out we are dating...

I just don't want to be heart broken and I don't have evidence to face him and ask him... anything else with him is perfect and makes me happy except only this... :((((

What you think?

Wondergirl · Nov 20, 2012, 09:50 PM

She is getting married soon?

Lifeisbest · Nov 20, 2012, 09:52 PM

She is getting married in two months time...

Fr_Chuck · Nov 20, 2012, 09:54 PM

I think you are too new into a relationship at this point.

Next guys will stare at girls of all sorts, often one from the past will bring back old memories, does not mean he is cheating.

Means you are not secure and relationship is not old enough and long enough yet

ArmstrongMiller · Nov 22, 2012, 01:15 AM

She is getting married soon...

Lifeisbest · Nov 23, 2012, 07:46 AM

He still excited to have her around and invite her to our gatherings... that's drive me crazy.. whenever we have plans he alwayes rush to call her up and check if she can join... one timr she show up in a dinner he was holding my hand and I can feel his heart beat is going so fast... I feel frustrated after all this swewt things between us and he still act this way...

Alexis Dubree · Nov 23, 2012, 02:14 PM

Communication always works. You can try talking to him about it.

Lifeisbest · Feb 17, 2013, 04:43 AM

We are almost six months in our relationship now... the girl got married but still hit on my boyfriend which drives me crazy... when we go out in a group I see them smiling and starring at each other... I tried to be so intimated with my boyfriend one time and she got mad and she left... I was happy and confused at the same time I don't trust her... I had to break up with him two weeks ago and was super painful for both of us nad he keep tellling me nothing between him and her but still drives me crazy espcially after I saw a picture in his mobile him putting his arm around her shoulder... he said we break up for the wrong reasons... after that we make up and we got together and he was super charming with me but he had to do some course in the girl office and I again still drive me crazy but I kept quite and didn't tell him... I'm leaving town for work for few days and I feel so uncomfortable I'm sure they will be in contact and will go out and this ideas drives me crazy... the night before I leave I was so sad and he start guessing why I'm upset... one of the stuff he told me that he go to the gril office and chatted with her... I was so so upset... he already knows now that this upsets me and he still keep doing it and we almost lost each other because of that same reason... while she is having fun time at the same time matinain her releation with her husband... I don't know what to do or how to solve this I'm not comfortable at all and thinking to break up with him since things didn't change but the idea of breaking up is upseting me again...

TonyLuv · Feb 17, 2013, 06:23 AM

If two people can't talk about what is bothering them, then something is wrong. If one does talk about it, but won't change, it is still wrong.
I would look for someone else, and forget (the best you can) about all this, and him. Being from different backgrounds and different cultures can sometimes work against you later on. So, find another boyfriend, and be happy with your life; not completely confounded with it.

JudyKayTee · Feb 17, 2013, 09:41 AM

"i tried to be so intimated with my boyfriend one time and she got mad and she left .."

You got intimate with your boyfriend in FRONT of her?

Lifeisbest · Feb 17, 2013, 10:07 AM

We were sitting with our friends and she was there, and he was rubbing my back and kiss my cheek from time to time...

talaniman · Feb 17, 2013, 10:20 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-569088-2.html

Is this the same guy? Seems to be a big gap if it is, between him leaving to go off on his own, and you guys getting together, or this is another guy at work? I am confused, please clarify, and thanks for coming back with an update as to your situation.

Lifeisbest · Feb 17, 2013, 11:08 AM

No this is different guy...

Originally Posted by talaniman

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-569088-2.html

Is this the same guy? Seems to be a big gap if it is, between him leaving to go off on his own, and you guys getting together, or this is another guy at work? I am confused, please clarify, and thanks for coming back with an update as to your situation.

talaniman · Feb 17, 2013, 11:49 AM

Thanks again for your response. So in a few months between hurt and dissapointment, you have found a new love of only 4 months?

I think you have not had time to trust this fellow, or cannot for whatever reason, and the way he handles his business, and have allowed this female whose motives you don't trust at all, to live rent free in your head, and cause the relationship stress where it need not be.

Its highly possible your jealousy has misframed the true nature of their "friendship" and changed into a threat to you. You were all mutual friends before, so what happened? Your own fear and insecurity is what happened is what I think.

Lifeisbest · Feb 18, 2013, 12:24 AM

I think there is a confuison somewhere it is the same guy for the last six month we are dating... I thought you were talking about previous question so there is 1.5 year gap between the two... back to the original problem I never was annoyed before when they talk to each other until her reaction after she found out we are dating... and why he had to make up to her after she stop talking to him ! Also why they keep starring to each other whenever we go out and last one why she got mad when he was initmated with me!! I can't explain those stuff and yet told him my concerns and he still doing what he is doing... for sure I don't trust her but now I question my trust to him... by the way I never mind if he was joking or friendly with other girls even him comment on this that my only issue is this specific girl...

Originally Posted by talaniman

Thanks again for your reponse. So in a few months between hurt and dissapointment, you have found a new love of only 4 months?

I think you have not had time to trust this fellow, or cannot for whatever reason, and the way he handles his business, and have allowed this female whose motives you don't trust at all, to live rent free in your head, and cause the relationship stress where it need not be.

Its highly possible your jealousy has misframed the true nature of their "friendship" and changed into a threat to you. You were all mutual friends before, so what happened? Your own fear and insecurity is what happened is what I think.

Char23 · Feb 18, 2013, 01:09 AM

I think that you are parranoid because you know that he use to have a crush on her. She is getting married in a few months, so she should have her mind on her soon to be husband. & he is with you for a reason, if he didn't want to be with you then he wouldn't be. I think he is faithful, and if you still have doubts about him, then just let time go by & what happens, happens.
Hope everything works out great between you and him(: