[SweetCalm2121]

Hi Everyone, I heard this is an excellent place to go to for advice... So here I am.

Here is my story/problem... I started dating this girl a year and a half ago. I was 28, she was 22. Things went GREAT for the first year. Not one argument or anything. It was very fun,easy, and we just clicked. Throughout the 18 months we dated she would come over to my place 4-5 times out of the week. (Her home life wasn't too good. Her mom left her dad for a 70 year old man. Then her dad re-married 8 months later to a woman who had been divorced twice already. Her step mom then moved in with her 4 kids).

So every time 4-5 times a week that she would come over I would make her dinner and breakfast. I would cook, clean up and do the dishes. Very seldom would she say thank you and she never offered to do the dishes. She got a new job and started acting different. When she would come over all she would do is sleep. I would bring her dinner and breakfast to her all the time.

So one time I asked her if she could dry the dishes after I washed them. She flat out said "No". A couple weeks later I asked again... She said "No". Another day, I asked a third time... she said "I don't know where the dishes go". I mean she had been coming over for over a year.

She would get in cranky moods. She didn't seem like she "enjoyed" life anymore. When she would come over she would hardly talk or laugh. She was so different. Regardless, I loved her and would do anything for her...

We then talked about getting a bigger house together. So we started saving. Every $10,000 we would save, we would go out for dinner and celebrate. It was very nice. Then she started making rude comments in front of my family. For ex. My brother was born premature and he has a disability so I help him with his bills. I paid for his one doctor bill and my aunt said "Wow, that was really nice of you". My girlfriend says (In front of my whole family) "Why don't you just wipe his , you do everything else for him". I couldn't believe it! This sweet caring girl I use to know would say something like that. I took her calmly in the other room and nicely told her that was very rude. She never apologized.

So one day her stepmom invited me over for one her kids birthdays. I bought him a balloon and card and I never even met him. I got there and my girlfriend was SOO happy and outgoing. Smiling and talking up a storm. Cuddling and affectionate. Turns out she was drinking. And she hardly ever drinks. I got upset because that's how I wished she were when she's with me, but she needed alcohol to feel that way. I stayed for about 3-4 hours and left because I was upset and mad.

We both had a small argument that night and I told her how I felt. That night she took ALL of her money out of our house account. Without even talking to me about it. Something so important and such a big commitment on both of our ends and she just ends it. After that she would bug me about marriage. She would say I wouldn't want to commit... I think buying a house together is commitment. She backed out.

One day I took her out for a movie and dinner.. After the movie we went to a nice little dinner with great food. That evening I was getting a lot of text messages from work. She always looks at my phone to see who it is. I told her I have nothing to hide and that she can go through my phone anytime she wants. She did and it eased her. I asked if I could go through her phone and she said "Yeah, whenever you want".

So that evening she was sleeping.. again. I went through her phone. All she did was talk crap about me to her friends and family. Saying that I never want to get married and that I won't commit. That I pay more attention to my mom and my brother. She made a comment to her stepmom "You would think the money he makes he would have taken me to a nicer place. The most expensive thing on the menu was $15. Whoo Hoo!" I couldn't believe what I was reading. It hurt so bad.

I held it in for a day or so. Then I sat down to talk to her. I asked her if there was anything bothering her about me... She said no. I asked if she ever complains about me... She said no. She lied for about 30 minutes straight until I told her I read the text messages. She started crying and apologized and said she didn't mean it and that she loved me. I forgave her. I told her if she has a problem to come talk to me about it and we will work it out and fix it. She said OK.

Well, last week I went through her phone again! She was talking crap on me AGAIN! She was complaining that I didn't want to go to disney world and that I didn't want to commit. I had it, so I told her we shouldn't see each other anymore. That was on Tuesday night. I haven't spoken to her since.

So should I give her another chance and try working things out? Or should I stick to my guns keep things ended? Half of me misses her and half of me doesn't... Advice please.

[Wondergirl]

I took the liberty of breaking up your dense post into manageable paragraphs so more people will read it more easily. :)

I personally would do No Contact, get my act together, and head off into the sunset alone with eyes wide open.

[SweetCalm2121]

I took the liberty of breaking up your dense post into manageable paragraphs so more people will read it more easily. :)

I personally would do No Contact, get my act together, and head off into the sunset alone with eyes wide open.

Thank you. Sorry for it being so jumbled. I just miss what we had and never thought she would act that way.

[Wondergirl]

You were writing with passion and without worrying about form. That's why I am here.

She has lied more than once, and I don't see the dissing and lying ever ending. I am turned off by her actions, and I don't even know her!

[teacherjenn4]

Definitely move on with your life. It sounds like she was taking and never giving. You were used. Sorry, but I would not give her another chance.

[Leetric]

For you own sanity... you must move on. I endured a 16 year marriage with someone like this. It almost destroyed me.

There are some people in the world who are takers. I don't believe they set out to be this way, it's just what they think they have to do to survive. They live life based on fear instead of love and their actions are unintentionally destructive to those around them.

Please do not think you can love them through this! You cannot change people, you can only change yourself. Choose to not love her anymore out of love for yourself. Being on your own is a much happier place than being with someone like this.

Please love yourself and do what's best for you here-I'm certain she won't.

[Homegirl 50]

I say leave her alone. She does not seem happy with you and ha s a real attitude problem, not to mention the lying.