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    birdieboy2's Avatar
    birdieboy2 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 8, 2012, 08:30 PM
    Why would a girl want to be friends with her ex if she knew he still had feelings?
    My ex girlfriend and I are currently friends. In the 20 months since we broke up, our relationship has gone up and down a ton; talking to not talking, to talking, to friends, to not friends, and now friends again. One of the products of dealing with high schoolers I guess :P

    Anyway, last week I told my ex girlfriend that I still loved her despite all this time that has passed since we broke up and despite all our ups and downs. She told me that she didn't want a relationship with anybody at the moment since she doesn't want to devote herself to somebody and then move away for college (We're both seniors right now). She also said that she had goals in her life that didn't involve relationships and she has a pretty negative view of relationships anyway at the moment.

    I then asked her if she still wanted to be friends, and she said yes. I mentioned that it was unusual for people to want to be friends with their ex'es in general, let alone one that still likes them. I asked her why she still wanted to be friends, and she said "I don't know".

    Obviously I'm not complaining about this, but I do find it odd. I know if she were the one that liked me and I were the one that didn't want a relationship, I would feel too awkward to hang out with her and be her friend. Is that just me?
    Wannabecountry's Avatar
    Wannabecountry Posts: 36, Reputation: 3
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    #2

    Nov 8, 2012, 08:44 PM
    I am an 18 year old girl and my thoughts are she probably does like you and your friendship but she won't let herself go there because she is moving away and doesn't want to get attached to you again just to lose you. That's my opinion but that may not be what she is thinking I don't know.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #3

    Nov 8, 2012, 09:29 PM
    She probably stays friends because you are familiar. She obviously does not want to date you. Since you have a problem with the relationship, stop spending time with her.
    kimosfire's Avatar
    kimosfire Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 8, 2012, 09:41 PM
    Well I have the same problem... yes it's a problem to me
    Because I really love her and I always did... after we broke up she said she want to stay but as a friend
    I dun really know why and I dun know why she broke up with me O.o
    birdieboy2's Avatar
    birdieboy2 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 8, 2012, 10:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    She probably stays friends because you are familiar. She obviously does not want to date you. Since you have a problem with the relationship, stop spending time with her.
    Who says I have a problem with the relationship?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #6

    Nov 8, 2012, 10:30 PM
    , I would feel too awkward to hang out with her and be her friend. Is that just me?

    You feel awkward.
    What are you looking to gain from this waiting around?
    birdieboy2's Avatar
    birdieboy2 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 11, 2012, 09:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    , I would feel too awkward to hang out with her and be her friend. Is that just me?

    You feel awkward.
    What are you looking to gain from this waiting around?
    What I meant by that statement is that if I were in her position, I would not want to be my friend, so I'm curious as to why she wants to. Especially because everybody tells me that ex'es can't be friends, and especially not when one person likes the other.

    I don't know what you mean by "waiting around". What do I have to gain? Her friendship...
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
    		  
    #8

    Nov 11, 2012, 10:25 PM
    She hangs around because you are comfortable and maybe it is an ego boost to her. So are you willing to hang around and be her friend?
    birdieboy2's Avatar
    birdieboy2 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 11, 2012, 10:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    She hangs around because you are comfortable and maybe it is an ego boost to her. So are you willing to hang around and be her friend?
    I've been considering if it would be better to stay friends or call it off for the past few months. Since I haven't been able to come up with a definite answer, I think I'm going to leave things as they are because this isn't so bad right now :P
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #10

    Nov 12, 2012, 07:27 AM
    Well it's your choice.
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