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tigger247 · Nov 8, 2012, 02:15 PM

I recently went on a business event and in the evening everyone was drinking. Me n my boss was left and he kept putting his arm round my my hips and grabbed my hand at one point but said sorry. He is married and knows I have a partner. But he kept standing really close and said everyone thinks your my misses great for me but not for you as I'm older. Im 24 n he is 45 but I got an attraction after he started putting his arm round me butterfly's in my stomach. At work sober doesn't put his arm round me. What do I do?

lisat1984 · Nov 8, 2012, 02:20 PM

If he's happily married, I suggest you just ignore it as something that happened after he'd had a drink. If you're really conscious about it, ask him on the quiet at work why he did it and see what the response is.

dontknownuthin · Nov 8, 2012, 02:49 PM

First, don't ever have more than the equivalent of two drinks at any business function. Drinking and work do not ever mix well. As you experienced, it blurs personal and professional boundaries. If you are a lightweight, don't have more than one drink with people you work with. I have been to many a business function where some man or woman made a complete idiot of themselves after too many drinks, and most weren't around long. Even a small thing, like appearing not to mind a flirting boss, can ruin your career.

Second, when others have had too much to drink, excuse yourself and call it a night - get the hell out of the situation before it becomes inappropriate. You don't wait until it IS inappropriate - when someone orders a third drink, time to grab your purse and go. Never be alone with this guy, sober or not, and never permit him to touch you. Be very clear if he touches you - pull away from him immediately and tell him, "you have me mistaken for your wife, I'm your secretary". If he tries to talk you into anything, just tell him, "I'm not interested in you in that way and don't want you to try anything like that again".

If you let this be at all unclear, you risk being in a sexual harassment situation. Consider this a risk to your job. If you are perceived as permitting or encouraging this guy to do this at all, you are almost guaranteed that the outcome will be him getting away with it and you losing your job.