[sweetgirl88]

I've always loved my mother regardless ov the many hurtful things&actions from her. But I am at a point in my life were I don't know what else to do. I've been fighting and doing everything I can to better my relationship with my mother and she's always judging me because ov my sexuality. IAM A LESBIAN... In which may I add respect my mother and never bring it around her. I've talked to her and reasured her that all I want is for her to love me and be there for me but I still get the same actions... what can I do.?

[Wondergirl]

How old are you?

Do you live with her?

How does she disrespect you?

[Fr_Chuck]

Honestly there is nothing you can do, except just let it go, you tell her that you will talk and visit but the minute she starts fussing or complaining about it, you are gone, or you will hang up.

You also did not say why, a religious issue, wanting grand kids,

[sweetgirl88]

@wondergirl.. I am 24. I just moved back in with her because I am moveing out ov town and though this would help some.. I didn't say she disrespects me but she always pulls out the "sexuality" card. Saying things are happening because ov what I am doing and how I am "living". That I am living the devils way... @chuck.. I do let it go.and when she starts her stuff I do leave or hang up... I just hate doig it like that. And rite now i.g its religious but she once liked a girl and isn't in any way a angle herself.. but she does have grand kids... two one from me.. 7yr old and one from my sister , 2month baby.

[Wondergirl]

You said "many hurtful things&actions" which is disrespect in my book.

My sil is a lesbian and recently legally married her partner of 30+ years. Her mother is religious and upset. My sil ignores any of that and changes the subject.

[sweetgirl88]

I don't know. i.g I look at it that's she's my mom... but uour rite it is disrespect. I ignor it to but my thing is were is the motherly bond... do I ignor that I don't have that as well.? There's nites I wish I could cry in my mothers arms... and just feel like her "baby girl" but I don't because I don't want the hurtful bull.

[Wondergirl]

What on earth would you cry about?

[sweetgirl88]

Just things in life... I've pretty much been the child with out that mother to turn to... my life hasn't been a walk on the park but ov course she wouldn't know... I've been independent from the age of 18/19 living on my own and things do get the best ov me sometimes and not having her to turn to while adding if my sister calls with a problem she pays her all thee attention plus more.. it sucks but I've been dealing with it. i.g there's nothing to help this situation.

[Wondergirl]

How did she find out you are a lesbian?

[sweetgirl88]

She say she's "always new" I've always "jokingly said I had a girlfriend... but my birth father told her around the age ov 19

[Wondergirl]

Consider her generation. Being a lesbian and being comfortable with it and one's sexuality is something that has come about during YOUR generation. Only now is the US becoming used to the terms and beginning to incorporate them and the ideas into the culture. Before your generation, before very recent years, it has been a scary, even evil thing. You have to take that into account.

What works with your mom?

[sweetgirl88]

Yes I though that as well but I do all I can for her to not see it or hear about it... and I am honestly starting to think there's more behind it... something I am missing. But I don't know. I guess its something I have to just deal with. But what do you mean what works with my mom.

[Wondergirl]

When do you get along with her? What works to make your relationship sparkle?

[sweetgirl88]

When I have money or IAM paying for something or to go out or go to church with her. /-: sad but that's pretty much it.

[8track]

Tell her you need to feel more motherly love from her and less judgement. Ask her if she can let go of her judgement and disapproval and if she can hand it over to god.