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CrazyStereotype · Nov 1, 2012, 04:22 PM

I am fourteen years old [going to be fifteen in May 2013] and I have a guy friend who is going to be twenty-two the end of this month. We have been best friends since I was nine and he was sixteen.

I have already entered the dating world when I was twelve, but never with a guy seven years older than me. We have already kissed before, and now want to officially hook up. Would it be illegal? I don't want to risk getting him arrested.

Alty · Nov 1, 2012, 04:27 PM

No. The legal age to consent to sex in Canada is 16.

If you're dating this guy you will need your parents consent. If they say no, than it's not legal. Consent to date does not mean consent to have sex, your parents can't consent to that at your age.

Why is a 22 year old interested in a 15 year old child?

CrazyStereotype · Nov 5, 2012, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

No. The legal age to consent to sex in Canada is 16.

If you're dating this guy you will need your parents consent. If they say no, than it's not legal. Consent to date does not mean consent to have sex, your parents can't consent to that at your age.

Why is a 22 year old interested in a 15 year old child?

He is actually almost 20, auto-correct wrote 22.

ScottGem · Nov 5, 2012, 10:33 AM

Still he is an adult and you are still a child. This is an unhealthy relationship, mostly on his part. I can understand your being enamored of such an older guy, but he has no business being involved romantically with a minor.

CrazyStereotype · Nov 5, 2012, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Still he is an adult and you are still a child. This is an unhealthy relationship, mostly on his part. I can understand your being enamored of such an older guy, but he has no business being involved romantically with a minor.

It's not the reason that he's older that I like him. He's been my best friend for years, as I stated in my original post. He likes me back and we both wish to have a dating relationship, not sexual interacting relationship. If we choose to go sexual after a few years when it WILL be legal and are still together then, then we shall think about it. As for right now, it's just simple dating/going steady.

ScottGem · Nov 5, 2012, 02:18 PM

You don't get it. I can't imagine why a 16 yr old would be friends with a 9 yr old. Let alone best friends. That relationship bothers me. It is not a natural thing. This make me wonder about him greatly. Either he's a predator or there is something else wrong with him. In either case, you should not be in this relationship.

What do your parents think about it?

CrazyStereotype · Nov 8, 2012, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You don't get it. I can't imagine why a 16 yr old would be friends with a 9 yr old. let alone best friends. That relationship bothers me. It is not a natural thing. This make me wonder about him greatly. Either he's a predator or there is something else wrong with him. In either case, you should not be in this relationship.

What do your parents think about it?

We both are high-functioning autistic and we went to a Friday night autism group for kids aged 9-21. We met there when I was nine, and I was the youngest one there. We had a mutual friend there who was 15, I only met him before the group since our moms were friends. When I met the guy I am dating now; I had a "crush at first sight," and since we had a lot in common, we instantly bonded.

He is NOT a predator, the only thing that makes "something else wrong with him" is his autism. There really isn't anything else that makes him worrisome, since I know he hasn't had a sexual past (and neither have I for that matter). We have just been best friends for years and want to date.

We are not yet ready to tell our parents; but I assure you that we will one day, when we both feel that the time is right. With (more) law issues, I am not even living in my mother's household, but my grandmother DOES know about the relationship and accepts our decision to not tell just yet, but also stating that we WOULD have to tell them sooner than later. (Our parents also know each other, and my mother knows about the first time I kissed him before we were dating).

Everything is a story in itself, we just love each other and want to start dating slowly. We wouldn't do anything obviously illegal (like sex, partying, etc). We just want to have a simple relationship.

ScottGem · Nov 8, 2012, 09:12 AM

OK, There is an exception to every rule. And now your situation is much more understandable (and acceptable).

However, I still think your parents should be told sooner than later.

CrazyStereotype · Nov 9, 2012, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

OK, There is an exception to every rule. And now your situation is much more understandable (and acceptable).

However, I still think your parents should be told sooner than later.

Our parents WILL be told, but we are going to tell them when the time is right. I want them to understand how serious just our friendship is, BEFORE we tell them what is really going on.