[Rhia1978]

Hello everyone,

He joined 3 weeks back.I've been there for over 9 months now.In the first week his team leader introduced us & though I found him cute,I was'nt going to do anything cos of work.Through the week he'd walk past & say hi/bye,address me by name.Friday at work drinks we had a good conversation about sports & art.others were around as well so it wasn't a one on one chat.Following Monday he emailed me asking how my day's going-if I was bored I could visit his workstation to gush about my favourite male sports personality - or to talk about anything else.I had meetings that afternoon - didn't answer till later.Whole week we emailed each other.He wanted to check my art out-I told him it's on Facebook-he sent me a fb request immediately-I added him.We talked sports & he asked me to a game with him later this year.I told him I'd be overseas on holidays but after I get back we can.He asked me to watch him play sports.I asked him how long his season is on - he said march & I told him I'd visit after I got back from overseas.He also told me of a late evening art class at the national gallery-his cousin had told him.I was curious about his art talk & asked him if he's into art he should join an art group am a member of-he said if I twisted his arm,he'd be up for it.In one of my emails I'd told him his team leader would be impressed with his work-he said 'thanx-I'd rather you be mean than nice to me'.It was obvious he was flirting.Wednesday my colleague organised sudden drinks - he was asking about after work drinks so I asked him to join us.At drinks he told me he felt I hadn't noticed him in the 1st week.We were playing 'guess the age' & when he found out am 4 yrs older than him apparently he looked like he was thinking 'wow she's this hot at this age'.After he left,my colleagues told me he's into me.Thursday & Friday he asked me to lunch.He'd flirt with me joking about the bed in our sick room.I told him it's inappropriate-he laughed 'we aren't in the office'.Friday drinks we had a great time-went to a pub after drinks at work-other colleagues were there too. We ended up kissing-left together & went back to his place.We chatted with his Flatmate-I got a cab.Nothing had happened.Midway I remembered I'd left my watch at his place,turned the cab around.After I got the watch I wanted to leave but he stopped me. Said it was too late to set out. He gave me change of clothes.We lay in his bed for a bit talking & then things happened. He asked me if I would tell anyone at work & I said I would tell me best friend only. He said he was worried about his probation & would prefer to keep it under wraps. He had a game the next day so we went off to sleep. There was no cuddling. I felt weird. In the morning I told him I won't beat around the bush - that I like him & asked him how he felt about what had happened. He said he hadn't realised how 'fragile' I am & that we should cool it off for a bit. I felt bad & didn't say anything. I couldn't find my mobile so he rang it - helped me to charge it. I started getting ready to leave - he said he would have driven me if he had a car. I told him it's fine & that he had to go to his game anyway. I went to his lounge room - he stayed in bed. His other Flatmate was very nice to me & offered to make me coffee - I politely declined. I left - he didn't even walk me to the door - just said 'see you on monday'. In the cab I realised I'd left my earrings at his place. I emailed him on fb & asked him to bring them in on Monday. He answered immediately - asked me not to worry about what had happened & that it was certainly not boring with a smiley face. I said I certainly am not a boring person - told him I'd like to see him again. He read the email but didn't answer till much later - was at the game I knew. He said he was stuffed from the game - said 'we kind of rushed into things too quickly last night didn't we. Whiskey eh. Wasn't my intention for all that to have happened. Just hold off on random nights of passion for the next few months with this probation'. He knew I was getting a haircut & asked me about it. I agreed the sex was premature - that I wanted to take it slow & get to know him. I said was unclear about what he wanted - just friendship or dating. He answered saying 'let's keep it at friends & go from there'. I was crushed & said 'completely agree - lets just keep being work colleagues - keep it professional'. On Monday I tried my best to avoid him. My friend was doing training with him & after he had left, I walked in to talk about a work thing. He walked back in & started talking to another guy who was still in the room. A friend rang me & I walked out as though busy on the mobile. Colleagues who sit around me told me he had come by my desk even before I had come in. Then round lunchtime I was trying to send an email & leave my desk when he caught me. He looked worried - asked me how I am. I was as natural & nice as I could. He asked me out to lunch. I hesitantly agreed. At lunch I tried to stop him but he wanted to talk about the night. He was worried about the rumour mill. I told him his probation wasn't the issue - reputation maybe. I told him a lot of young ladies were joining soon - so to be careful. The conversation was done in very good spirit & we were laughing a lot. He assured me he had never done this before - almost like I was accusing him of being a player. I had told him on the night itself that I had never ever done this before. He told me he'd spoken to his cousin about me & he'd told him to lie low for the first 6 months of work. He said I have a 'magnetic' personality. He accepted he was flirting via his emails the previous week. I told him to be careful with emails. He told me his Flatmates really liked me & one even texted him 'she's a cool chick'. He told me he'd heard me sobbing while I was changing into his clothes & said he can't tolerate women crying cos he fears he's done something wrong... that he feels the same way when his mum or sisters cry. I assured him it wasn't him but work stress - I was just letting off some steam. I had some bruises on my arms - he asked if he had left them - I nodded - he apologised - I told him I bruise easily. I was very happy with the conversation... thought he liked me. He said the real test would be Friday drinks - I told him I will be staying away - 'your not going all shy on me are you?'. I laughed. After that the week went oddly. I kept trying to avoid him as discreetly as possible but he'd follow me into the kitchen. He emailed me a bit but his emails were very dry. He wouldn't walk past my desk much. In the first place he shouldn't at all. There's a shorter route to the toilets/printers/exits/kitchen from his desk - so he shouldn't be passing my desk at all. Because of meetings & training, we didn't have an opportunity to go for lunch. Friday he came by my desk & asked me what I was doing later in the evening. I said 'nothing' - didn't say anything else. Later I was hanging out with my colleagues at the same pub we'd been to on a Wednesday. I emailed him on fb & told him. He answered much later - I knew he had not read my email till then. He'd been shopping - asked about my evening - told me he had a game on the weekend again - asked me what I had on - said he'd be sore on Monday. I was hoping he'd ask for my nr but no. I have a Halloween party & need to pack for overseas. He ended the conversation with 'have fun at the party & enjoy packing'. 

So this is the story. Once more - sorry it's so long. I really like him. Of course I've told him that. I thought he liked me too. Not sure if there's any hope cos I do want to pursue a relationship with him. We don't work in the same section. Am I being paranoid in thinking that he's being polite & nice to me just cos we work together but doesn't want anything more to do with me... or is he really just being cautious as his cousin told me cos of his probation but wants me? What do I do?

Thanks in advance!  

[tickle]

Sorry, too much to read, no structure, no paragraphs, no sentences, please go back and make some sense out of it so we can answer you.

But from what I gather, it was a one night stand so there is nothing there for you to hang on to, but unfortunately it is in your workplace.

You have to just let this go, no contact, and I am sure he will have none either. Just prentend it didn't happen.

[Rhia1978]

How do I edit this? Or do I have to post again?