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nikkitrusty7 · Oct 20, 2012, 06:24 AM

My boyfriend lived with me and my daughter (not his) at my Grandmothers until he was asked to leave because his drinking problem and domestic violence. I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant. When I gave birth he was there and signed the birth certificate. Although our relationship was over I allowed visitation within reason (baby was new born, drinking and violence) when my son was almost 4 months old our living situation was the same my son and I lived with Grandma his father lived with his parents. My sons father attacked me while holding my son then threatened to kill me and other members of my family if I left. I moved to Oregon from California with my 2 kids. I did seak help for domestic violence right away and begun a new life with my children. However 8. months later I'm charged with kidnapping and forced to return my son to his father in California without any knowledge of custody order or even if he in fact filed for custody. He filed something a week after he learned of my move. Did he have the right to do so? And what are my rights?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 20, 2012, 06:47 AM

You had the right as soon as the child was born to file in court for custody and for child support.

The father had the right to file in court for custody and for support and if he did not get custody, for visitation.

If you have proof of the abuse, police reports, arrestss reports, jail sentence, there should not be much of a problem.

But you left without establishing custody and he is on the birth certificate, he had at that point every right you have, since YOU failed to go to court to limit his rights.

Where you said " you allowed visits" sorry he could have just keep the child at that point also, since he had equal rights with you.

What he did was legal, it may not be right or fair, but it was legal, We warn women about this all the time here and tell fathers they have that right to file for custody as soon as the mother leaves to force her back with child.

Now you appear in court, prove what a danger he is, with evidence that will be allowed in court, Not you said, but actual reports from police. You hire an attorney and counter file for custody of the child

AK lawyer · Oct 20, 2012, 07:10 AM

... I'm charged with kidnapping and forced to return my son to his father in California without any knowledge of custody order or even if he in fact filed for custody.. .

It looks as though there is a problem with service of process. How did he claim, in the California case, that you were given notice of the lawsuit?

ScottGem · Oct 20, 2012, 06:17 PM

So you moved from CA without informing him. So I suspect he filed for custody, which was his right. The fact that you left without informing him and hiding HIS child from him does make you vulnerable to a parental kidnapping charge. It also may be why he was able to obtain a default custody judgment without proof of service.

You ask if this is justice? I counter with the question of whether you think it justice to hide a child from his father? He contributed to this child. He was good enough to have sex with. If you felt he was a danger to you and the child, then you had legal avenues to pursue to get custody of your child and limit his visitation ot get permission to move. You didn't use those legal avenues. Instead you took his child and hid the child from him.

Maybe you were justified. But you messed up by going about it the entirely wrong way. Now you are paying the price. So, yes he had the right to do what he did. Yes you do have rights. You have the right to prove you feared for the safety of your child and yourself. But if you can't prove that, then he is likely to get custody of the child and you will be given supervised visitation and be required to pay child support.