[cherryberry123]

Hello, I'm Chloe and I'm 14 years old. I'm currently in year 10 at my secondary school and all seems to be going well apart from on a night. Every night since I was about 11 years old I've been unable to sleep on a school night. As soon as bed time approaches I have a fear of going to bed knowing that I won't get a decent nights sleep. On average I can be laid there for up to 5 hours after originally going to bed. I usually aim to be in bed for around 9:45pm giving myself time to wind down, but for some reason I never feel sleepy? On a good nights sleep I will be asleep by around 11:00 - 11:30pm but on an extreme night it can be 2:00am! The next day I feel down, extremely tired and unable to complete tasks to my ability. The strange thing is I seem to be able to sleep on a weekend but not a on a night before school! Sunday nights are the worst, throughout the day the only thing that plays on my mind is how will I sleep tonight? I've tried reading, baths, warm milk and so many more remedys but nothing works for me?I've been to the doctors and they don't understand my problem, I was given tablets but they were only a short term remedy. Please answer me and give me some advice? I can't go on living like this any longer, I'm becoming physically ill because of the lack of sleep therefore I plead to you to give me some advice.

[dontknownuthin]

I would not give up on the doctor, first of all. One good thing to learn when you are young is that you will have, all your life, to be your own advocate with your doctor and bring things up more than once, or more strongly, or ask your parents to change your doctor if they do not take you seriously.

Second, there are several things that are often written about that can cause loss of sleep. You should probably not use anything that contains caffeine like pop, coffee or chocolate. If you want pop have 7-up or Sprite or something like that (not Mountain Dew - loaded with caffeine). Also get into a routine. Get up on weekends the same time that you have to get up during the week for school. Try to go to bed at the same time, too.

Make sure your room is clean and neat and make your bed in the morning so that when you go to bed, it's a relaxed, calm and pleasant experience. If you are in a big mess, it can be hard to let your mind relax - among other things, you think about how you should be cleaning your room, but it's too late to clean your room and so on. Close your blinds or curtains, your drawers and your closet door and close the door to your bedroom to block out distractions and feel like you're in an orderly place.

Also reserve your room just for sleep. Some people can use their rooms to hang out with friends, snack, watch television, do homework and everything else but many cannot. When you associate your room only with resting, it will help trigger your mind to know it's time to rest when you are there. Don't have a television or computer in there, and do your homework somewhere else like the kitchen table.

I think the greatest thing that interferes with sleep for a lot of people is stress and worry. Make sure that each day you finish your responsibilities so you don't have things on your mind that you feel you haven't done. Do your homework, put your things away, study for your upcoming tests, work on the upcoming paper so you feel that you're a bit ahead of where you need to be, and you won't have a lot of stuff hanging over you. If you are struggling with something, deal with it in the daylight. For example, if you dno't understand your algebra class, make an appointment with your teacher outside of class to review it and if you begin to worry about it, tell yourself "I have an appointment with the teacher at 10 am Tuesday so that's taken care of". If you aren't getting along with someone, make the effort in daylight to work it out. If someone is bothering you, get adult help to manage it. If you feel guilty about something, resolve the issue.

Routine is also very helpful. If you want to go to bed at 9 pm, then perhaps at 8 start winding down. Pick up your stuff around the house, take a shower, put on pajamas, put your clothes away, brush your teeth and so on. Then at 8:45 go into your room, confirm that your alarm is set for the right time, and read a chapter of a good book. When you're done, make sure your room is dark and just decide you're going to relax. Don't pressure yourself to fall asleep - just be in the moment and relax. Any problem that comes up in your mind, either decide to think about it tomorrow, or remind yourself that you're taking care of it already. It can be really hard to try "not to think" so imagine something really soothing and relaxing - whether floating in warm water on a moonlit night, or your mom brushing your hair for you, or whatever you find soothing. Imagine that's what you're doing.

It will take a while but if you stick to it I think in time it will work for you.