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del1974 · Oct 4, 2012, 08:02 AM

My 14 yr old son is on probation for marijuana, I can't get him to attend school. I'm getting fines due to this. He doesn't care that I took his phone, playstation, and TV. I turn to his probation officer I get no results. I've called a boys ranch and he's not accepted. I'm so frustrated.

tickle · Oct 4, 2012, 08:11 AM

Why won't they accept him at the boys ranch ?

del1974 · Oct 4, 2012, 08:20 AM

One said he's not that bad. So I called Cal Farley Ranch I tried too hard. They don't want anyone who might start a gang. I told her that I he's not in one. I just want to prevent that, but the word gang was said.

excon · Oct 4, 2012, 02:41 PM

Hello del:

My friend tick asked me to respond to you... This is what I said to her.
--------------

Hi tick:

I don't have an answer... I sent my own son to a boot camp, and it was the WORST decision I've ever made. 14 year old's just have to get past being 14.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Oct 4, 2012, 09:12 PM

I will agree, I sent my one son to boot camp at 14, he learned how to do tattoos on other boys and how to hot wire cars. Guess good career training at boot camp.

It took lock up in jail to get his attention.

Call the school officer, and tell them to come get him for school,

del1974 · Oct 6, 2012, 07:48 AM

Thank you, for your response I didn't consider that point of view. All I was thinking about is getting him in school & avoid these fines. I also didn't know that the school officer would actually pick him up for school. Thanks for your advice.. ex con & Chuck

eman134 · Oct 6, 2012, 07:59 AM

Show him whose boss whoop him ground his srry little but and sit him in a room no nothing don't let him do any thing and if that don't work I thot they had a thing were cops will arest someone for a little while to show them what its like in jail

tickle · Oct 6, 2012, 08:08 AM

What you are going have to initiate is TOUGH LOVE. You will have to objective and do what you really don't want to do to help him.

del1974 · Oct 6, 2012, 08:11 AM

I've tried that eman the thing is he's starting to over power me. I don't want to show him that he can hurt me so I'm trying to avoid confrontation. I do pop his mouth when he calls me names, then I try to back away cause he's body slam me once. As far as lock up, he has been on weekend lock ups cause his probation officer has done this. He just doesn't care.

excon · Oct 6, 2012, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by del1974

am helpless trying to cope with a 14 year old son

Hello again, del:

Let me see if I can answer your original question.

You are NOT helpless with how YOU cope with the situation... Do what you need to do to take care of yourself...

You ARE helpless in changing your son. At some point in life, we have to take responsibility for how it turns out.. Looks like your son has reached that point.. He's responsible for it - YOU'RE not.. He's going to do what he's going to do.

excon

b4m2012 · Oct 9, 2012, 10:36 AM

A coworker of mine had a similar situation with her teenage son and this is what she did to snap some sense into him. She went down to the local police department and talked to an officer about how to handle him. Then after school one day, the police showed up at their house, handcuffed her son (he is only 14 too), and they took a ride down to the police station, where the policeman showed him around a cell. He thought he was going to have to stay there, even his little brother was freaking out. It snapped some sense into him, and ever since, he's thought twice before doing anything that could get him into trouble. Hope this helps.

jtswife · Oct 13, 2012, 11:38 AM

So sorry to hear about your problems with your son. I can relate cause I have been there.
Not much you can do except if he is physical with you call the police and send him to juvenile hall. The probation officer should be more willing to help.

jtswife · Oct 13, 2012, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by b4m2012

A coworker of mine had a similar situation with her teenage son and this is what she did to snap some sense into him. She went down to the local police department and talked to an officer about how to handle him. Then after school one day, the police showed up at their house, handcuffed her son (he is only 14 too), and they took a ride down to the police station, where the policeman showed him around a cell. He thought he was going to have to stay there, even his little brother was freaking out. It snapped some sense into him, and ever since, he's thought twice before doing anything that could get him into trouble. Hope this helps.

That's awesome!

talaniman · Oct 13, 2012, 12:35 PM

Do they have a Scared Straight program you can contact? Can his school refer you to a Wayward Child Program? Is there an older male figure to support YOU emotionally? Where is his dad?

Get him evaluated and see if there are any emotional problems to deal with. Or has his schoolhad this done already?