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    royjaison's Avatar
    royjaison Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 10, 2007, 09:46 AM
    9yr age difference marriage
    Am 21yr old man and my love is 29year old.We love each other very much and of course our love is true.We r very much understanding.We can't be separated! And so we have decided of getting married in next month.But no one knows about our relationship.I am from South India and she is from North India.She is a Hindu and am a Christian. My parents won't support this relation but her parents don't have any problem. I have a sister too.If my parents know my marriage is over before my sister's marriage anything can happen.So we are planning to hide this from my parents.We all are living at present in U.S. except her parents. At present am a student of Engineering and she is a registered nurse working in U.S. I would like to have opinion from others about our relationship as early as possible. Thank You!
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Mar 10, 2007, 09:51 AM
    What do you think about your relationship? I believe personally that age does not always matter. Religion does not always matter. I can tell you though through experience with different culture, I am sure it would be the same with different religion. There will be tension. It is up to you whether you can deal with all the trauma of being in a relationship that not everybody necessarily will agree with. You are both in love with each other, it seems to me by the sounds of it your not going to let anybody stop you. I say if you truly love each other you should go for it. Your parents won't support it but it is not their decision anyway. Her parents support it I would say adopt them as your family because at least you will have some support. Why do you need the opinions of others about your relationship it is up to you and her to make the final decision on what makes both you happy.

    Good luck with whatever you do. I am giving you ideas, but the final decision has just got to be made by you and her and nobody else. Not her family, not your family, not us on this site.

    Joe
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Mar 10, 2007, 10:38 AM
    Age does not matter, but the differnece of religion can be the biggest problem. ( that is if either of you actually are strong in your faith)


    As to lying or hiding a relationship, that is no way to start it out, be honest and those that don't like it, don't like it, and deal with it.

    Lying is no way to start a new marriage.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Mar 10, 2007, 11:36 AM
    How long have you been in this relationship?
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #5

    Mar 10, 2007, 07:05 PM
    Roy, is there a family situation in yours or your love's life, in which an arranged marriage is expected of either one of you? That can complicate things a great deal. Are you planning on staying in the US or eventually going back to India? Chuck is right about not starting in life together based on lies. It will only cause everyone involved a great deal of heartache in the long run. It might cause permanent damage in your family's relationship with your girlfriend. If you hide the truth and tell them at a later time, they may never accept her. You both need to discuss all the pros and cons about being together. And, as Talaniman asks, how long have you been together. Is it possible that you both are jumping into something too quickly?

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