[I am done]

I would like to give sole legal custody to my sons mother. She has also requested it and is accepting of this. I will be moving to another state shortly and it would be beneficial to her and my son so that she would be legally able to make all decisions reagrding what's best for the child. Also what paper names need to change his last name to his mothers?

[smoothy]

You HAVE to go through family court... and this will NOT absolve you of owing child support.

[I am done]

I would like to terminate my parental rights leaving the mother as the sole parent. How easy is this process and what needs to be done?

[JudyKayTee]

Here is the info on name change - Connecticut Law About Name Changes

[JudyKayTee]

I would like to terminate my parental rights leaving the mother as the sole parent. How easy is this process and what needs to be done?

You cannot terminate your rights. The only way you are not liable for child support is if someone adopts the child.

The mother can go to Court for sole custody.

Why are you walking away from the child?

[ScottGem]

Whatever makes you think you can terminate your rights? There is a myth that a parent can do so, but its only a myth.

I suggest you read this sticky:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html

Or any of the thousands of threads here that have asked the same question and gotten the same answer.

[I am done]

I would like to terminate my parental rights, however, plan to continue monthly child support payments. I am not terminating on the basis of not having to pay, ut rater giving up visitaion rights and custodial rights.

[ScottGem]

I've merged your threads, best to keep posts about the same issue together.

Giving the mother sole legal custody is fairly easy and VERY different from terminating rights. But to advise you, we would need to know more about the situation.

Were you ever married to the mother? Did you sign an acknowledgment of Paternity are are listed as the father on the birth certificate? Has there been any court orders awarding legal paternity, custody or visitation issued?

If you want to cede sole legal custody to the mother, you would have to file a motion in Family court. If both parents are agreeable, then a judge just approves it. This will not relieve you of the responsibility for child support.

I would like to terminate my parental rights, however, plan to continue monthly child support payments. I am not terminating on the basis of not having to pay, ut rater giving up visitaion rights and custodial rights.

Again, you can't terminate your rights. As for your custodial and visitation rights, just don't use them. Nothing is forcing you to. The only issue I see here is making sure the mother has the legal authority to make decisions about your son without consulting you. And that can be handled easily by issuing a court order or modifying an existing order.

[I am done]

Thanks for all the helpful feedback. Yes, the mother and I were married six years ago, divorced for five. She currently has sole physical custody and we have joint legal custody. There was a visitation schedule that was put in place at the time of the divorce six years ago. Due to many issues with the visitation, I went for a modification which was granted a little over a year ago. That went well for some time, then more issues arose. There is a lot more to this story. Long story short, I have an ex-wife that continuously gives me a hard time because I am now married with a new child. She feels like she has the "right" to do whatever with our son and has asked me to give up my "rights". At first, I denied this request but as time went by (a year) of having no visits with my son, I feel it would be in the best interest of the child to give his mother sole custody, which is how the "termination of rights", but can continue to support fincially came up on this ask. I willl consult with a lawyer.

[ScottGem]

Yes, the mother and I were married six years ago, divorced for five. ... we have joint legal custody.

She feels like she has the "right" to do whatever with our son and has asked me to give up my "rights".

Ok, then it should be fairly simple. You may not even need a lawyer. You file a petition to cede sole legal custody to the mother. If both agree on it, the judge just rubber stamps it. You will still have the right to the current visitation schedule and if she doesn't comply with it, you can have cited for contempt of court.

In fact you might try negotiating this by offering to cede legal custody in return for her not fighting you on visitation.

But the only way she will get a termination of your rights is if she remarries and wants the new husband to adopt. If you agree to the adoption your rights will be terminated AND so will your support obligation.

[I am done]

Ok, then it should be fairly simple. you may not even need a lawyer. You file a petition to cede sole legal custody to the mother. If both agree on it, the judge just rubber stamps it. You will still have the right to the current visitation schedule and if she doesn't comply with it, you can have cited for contempt of court.

In fact you might try negotiating this by offering to cede legal custody in return for her not fighting you on visitation.

But the only way she will get a termination of your rights is if she remarries and wants the new husband to adopt. if you agree to the adoption your rights will be terminated AND so will your support obligation.

So by her wanting the termination and me consenting, is there an easy process to get this done? At this point, I have made the chose to not exercise my visitation / custody right, but would like some official on paper, so it's not ever an issue in the future.

[ScottGem]

So by her wanting the termination and me consenting, is there an easy process to get this done?

I just said to you the only way she gets a termination of rights is if she remarries and wants the new husband to adopt.

At this point, I have made the chose to not exercise my visitation / custody right, but would like some official on paper, so it's not ever an issue in the future.

Official to what end? I doubt if you will get a court to say you have no custody or visitation rights. Even more I wonder why you would do that? What do you think that would accomplish?

If you don't want to exercise your rights at this time, then don't. You won't get in any trouble by not doing so as long as you fulfill your financial obligations.

[AK lawyer]

... Official to what end? I doubt if you will get a court to say you have no custody or visitation rights. Even more I wonder why you would do that? What do you think that would accomplish?

If you don't want to exercise your rights at this time, then don't. You won't get in any trouble by not doing so as long as you fulfill your financial obligations.

It looks like OP may want to forego the necessity of having to make "legal custody" decisions: school selection, medical care, etc. Normally one or the other legal custodian can do this without the necessity of the other parent also signing a document. However, if need be, a simple written revokable waiver might be sufficient.

[ScottGem]

It looks like OP may want to forego the necessity of having to make "legal custody" decisions: school selection, medical care, etc. Normally one or the other legal custodian can do this without the necessity of the other parent also signing a document. However, if need be, a simple written revokable waiver might be sufficient.

Agreed the wording of the original custody order would be important here. As long as the OP doesn't challenge any decisions the mother makes, then there wouldn't be a problem.

But I can see the mother wanting security that a challenge won't happen. But I don't see a court making an irrevocable change here. I'm sure they will modify the order as long as both parents agree to the modification. But they will leave it open for the OP to change his mind. The best the mother can get unless there is a step father to adopt.

[brachotelohai]

I'm a little disturbed as to why you would want to give up your rights just because of issues with the mother. Does your love for your child have limitations? I agree with everyone here, there is no need to give up your legal rights, if you don't want to exercise the rights, don't. At least this way, if you realize in the future that your child actually NEEDS you, then you will have a choice to see them, talk to them, etc. However, if you have tried to get your child for visitation, and the mother has refused you, that is contempt of court on her part, and you need to file a showcause (it's free) with the courts. And file every time that you are court ordered visitation and she refuses. That is called parental alienation, and highly looked down on by the judges. My husband's son's mother lost custody of their son due to withholding visitation. Fight for your child! Don't give up!

[JudyKayTee]

So by her wanting the termination and me consenting, is there an easy process to get this done? At this point, I have made the chose to not exercise my visitation / custody right, but would like some official on paper, so it's not ever an issue in the future.

Your child's mother cannot legally force you to visit with the child OR have any part in the child's life.

The Court can force you to support the child, and you apparently have no problem with that, that's not the issue.

If you want to give the mother sole decision-making powers, I'd get an agreement written by an Attorney, signed and filed. If I were the mother I would certainly want that agreement in writing.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm a little disturbed as to why you would want to give up your rights just because of issues with the mother. Does your love for your child have limitations? I agree with everyone here, there is no need to give up your legal rights, if you dont want to exercise the rights, don't. At least this way, if you realize in the future that your child actually NEEDS you, then you will have a choice to see them, talk to them, etc. However, if you have tried to get your child for visitation, and the mother has refused you, that is contempt of court on her part, and you need to file a showcause (it's free) with the courts. And file every time that you are court ordered visitation and she refuses. That is called parental alienation, and highly looked down on by the judges. My husband's son's mother lost custody of their son due to withholding visitation. Fight for your child! Don't give up!

This is a legal board. The OP, the father, obviously has made up his mind. Questioning his parenting skills, challenging why he doesn't see his child, does nothing but make him feel more guilty.

Do you mean an Order to Show Cause? It's not only "alienation of parental rights," it's also a violation of the visitation Order.

- But OP has reviewed his options, and I believe his decision has been made.

[brachotelohai]

I am not trying to guilt the father, but I find with a lot of men, they think about the hear and now and not the future, so all I'm trying to do his help him realize and think about the future too. We don't know for sure he has made his decision. That's why he is asking questions. There are plenty of split home situations where the two parents don't get along and one or the other tries to cause problems with the other, but people need to remember that it's about the child, not the parents. I'm just trying to help a father realize that he shouldn't let his ex force him out of his child's life.

[JudyKayTee]

I am not trying to guilt the father, but I find with a lot of men, they think about the hear and now and not the future, so all I'm trying to do his help him realize and think about the future too. We don't know for sure he has made his decision. That's why he is asking questions. There are plenty of split home situations where the two parents don't get along and one or the other tries to cause problems with the other, but people need to remember that it's about the child, not the parents. I'm just trying to help a father realize that he shouldn't let his ex force him out of his child's life.

I realize you are new here -

This is the family law board. It isn't about relationships or trying to help people with emotional issues or relationship issues.

It's about answering the legal questions correctly.

On a relationship board or personal board there is no problem. Here, when he's asking for legal advice, there is a problem. He asked what he needed to know legally.

I very often highly disagree with the questions posted as well as question the poster's intentions. I still answer legally and not personally.

If you don't understand what I am trying to explain report my post and someone will come along and clarify the issue.

[I am done]

I realize you are new here -

This is the family law board. It isn't about relationships or trying to help people with emotional issues or relationship issues.


It's about answering the legal questions correctly.

On a relationship board or personal board there is no problem. Here, when he's asking for legal advice, there is a problem. He asked what he needed to know legally.

I very often highly disagree with the questions posted as well as question the poster's intentions. I still answer legally and not personally.

If you don't understand what I am trying to explain report my post and someone will come along and clarify the issue.

Yes, I am all set. This was great feedback! I will seek a lawyer and proceed from there. This post can be closed.